Author Archives: Van-a-gram

Quote of the Day

Those who turn away from fighting evil need to be aware that the notion of evil as dark is actually the opposite of the truth. Evil is so bright that people can’t stare at it with their eyes. It’s blinding; so people look at other things. Instead of fighting evil, they fight carbon emissions.

— Dennis Prager

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Freaky Friday Caption Contest: Friday the 13th Edition

death directions


The Dude Does Not Abide


One Florida nine year old is getting appropriately prepared for college.  He is under threat of suspension and charges of sexual harassment for writing love notes to his classmate.  Offensive language such as “I like you” and “you are pretty” and”you have eyes that shine like diamonds” has put the school on the verge of lock down.

If this kid could just check his male-privilege for a second, he’d understand that the note writing merely perpetuates the female struggle against the endemic rape culture misogyny and inter-sexual patriarchal bigotry.

The girl has been accepted for early admissions at Yale.

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When fragile snowflakes blow off campus into the real world, they melt pretty quickly


Bernardo Elbaz is very unhappy.  Bernardo took a cruise where allegedly some crew members called him a hurtful name.  You see, Bernardo is gay and was  allegedly called “lipstick” by a crew member. Bernardo was so offended, so enraged, and so hurt by this remark that returned to his cabin and trashed it.

Oh, he then threw himself overboard “in protest”.  

And, of course,  he perished.

‘This was not a domestic dispute, this was not a suicide,’ Winkleman [Ebatz’ attorney] told NBC Miami.

‘This was an act of protest based on the way that this legally gay, legally married couple was mistreated by Royal Caribbean.’

In the video, Elbaz can be seen arguing with two members of security who reported to the cabin the couple was staying in after neighbors reportedly called to report yelling and what sounded like a dispute.

Security reported they when they arrived they found evidence of a physical altercation, though Winkleman previously said that a lamp and table that had been thrown were the result of Elbaz’s anger over what allegedly happened earlier in the evening.

This is the logical choice of illogical people.  “I’m so mad at you I’m going to kill myself!” is something you might expect from a six year old.  But that’s what young adults are these days — six year olds.  We see it at Yale and we see it at University of Missouri and many if not most college campuses these days.  When these people graduate and go out into the ‘real world’ they are simply unprepared to hear hurtful things, and have lost their protective bubble that surrounds their liberal fainting couch.

And when they can’t find a Safe Zone or a Dean of Tolerance or a Council of Acceptance with whom to lodge a complaint, they have a complete meltdown.  Life is no longer worth living.

Prepare to see a lot more of these cases.


Chick-fil-A gets it right.

The store set up a Missing Man Table in the restaurant


The letter read:

“This table is reserved to honor our missing comrades in arms. The tablecloth is white — symbolizing the purity of their motives when answering the call of duty. The single red rose, displayed in a vase, reminds us of the life of each of the missing and their loved ones and friends of these Americans who keep the faith, awaiting answers. The vase is tied with a red ribbon, symbol of our continued determination to account for our missing. A pinch of salt symbolizes the tears endured by those missing and their families who seek answers. The Bible represents the strength gained through faith to sustain those lost from our country, founded as one nation under God. The glass is inverted — to symbolize their inability to share this evening’s toast. The chair is empty — they are missing.”

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A New Definition of HERO

I was reading this article on pending legislation in Houston called HERO.  I don’t know why I was reading it actually, but when I got to this section I took pause:

The ordinance would also establish explicit prohibitions in the city’s code against discrimination based on sex, race, color, ethnicity, national origin, age, familial status, marital status, military status, religion, disability, genetic information, and pregnancy – characteristics already protected under federal law.

Houston wants to add sexual orientation and gender identity to the list.  That’s now 15 “protected” classifications.  I guess I’ve lost count over the years, but didn’t realize we were in the double digits — well into the double digits– of ‘protected’ characteristics.  Maybe this is a good thing.  Maybe if the list grows big enough to the point where every characteristic of every person everywhere is protected, it will by default return to state of normalcy.  In short, if everything is protected then nothing is unique.

New York is certainly leading the way with their Fair Chance Act that prohibits discrimination against felons.  Because a previous record of child molestation shouldn’t immediately disqualify you as a daycare provider.

Soon to follow will be ordinances that prohibit discrimination based on intelligence, ability, educational background, skill or capacity to speak, read or write.  But that’s OK, just pour yourself another pint of Brawndo and relax.

Bonus Question: What is “genetic information” protection anyway?  Would that be the defense Bill Clinton invokes regarding a certain blue dress?  Does it extend protections down to the molecular level?  Is there any part of any person that does not have ‘genetic information’?   Trial lawyers rejoice!


Because I’m always the optimist…..


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I know you bought this crap, too.

Ever wonder about all the cool stuff for sale in the back of comic books when you were a kid?  Most of it was a great bargain at .99 cents.  Or maybe $2.50 tops.  I know I shelled out some hard earned allowance money for some of this.

And, of course, it never failed to disappoint.  But I always thought the next thing — X-Ray specs or the fully functional 2-seat submarine– would be ‘the real deal.’  Nope.  8 year old boys are suckers to the end.  My biggest disappointment?  The 100 army men (actually shown in the video below) for $1.00.  I was devastated when my ‘army’ was wiped of the face of the earth by a gentle June breeze….


GOP Party Leaders Need to Watch This

There doesn’t seem to be much energy, passion or conviction in the GOP these days.

Maybe this would help.

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Expect this lunatic to be the poster child for Muslim apologists for the rest of time…..



Headline: The Tea Party member and Westboro Baptist supporter who opened fire on Louisiana movie theater killing two and injuring nine as it’s revealed his wife tried to hide his guns from him

John Russel Houser was both a supporter of the far-right Tea Party and the extremist Christian Westboro Baptist Church, web accounts connected to the 59-year-old Louisiana theater shooter reveal.

Houser also had a profile on the conservative website Tea Party Nation, in which he described himself as ‘very conservative’ and asked for help finding white-power groups.

Then, buried in the depths of the article we learn this:

Houser ‘has a history of mental health issues, i.e., manic depression and/or bi-polar disorder’ the filing said.

But this will be continually spun up as a ‘christian extremist  tea party member with too easy access to guns’.  Watch.  The first three sentences have all the buzz words strung together: “Tea Party” and “Guns” and “Christian Extremist” and “very conservative” and we certainly can’t leave race out of any story so add “white power groups” in the mix as well.  See?  It’s not just Muslims — it’s Christians, too!

This one lunatic will be used as a foil and  balance against the rampant Muslim extremist terrorists.  It’s almost as if the media, upon hearing of a mass shooting, practically pray “Please, please, please let this be a white christian right winger!”

While, in reality, it was indeed an extremist.  One with a long history of mental health problems, which is the one common denominator to all these events.  Sandy Hook, Aurora, Virginia Tech, Charleston — you name it, the common thread is that they were all bat-shit crazy.



Boycott in 3….2….1…..

simpson flag

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This should thin the herd of the colossally stupid……

This is perhaps the dumbest new product ever developed.  This cell phone case is in the shape of a gun and sticks out of your pocket.  What fun!



Cops are going to love this.  “Siri?  How long before the first person is shot with one of these….?”

Wait until someone with a real gun pulls on them and they are left holding……a 8 megapixel camera.  At least they can get their death on tape….

Next up: The Portable Travel Alarm that conveniently fits in your carry on bag

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Hulk Smash!

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RIP James Garner

James Garner joined the crowd invisible today.

Best James Garner scene ever.


No One Murdered Because of This Picture

nobody killed


WASHINGTON—Following the publication of the image above, in which the most cherished figures from multiple religious faiths were depicted engaging in a lascivious sex act of considerable depravity, no one was murdered, beaten, or had their lives threatened, sources reported Thursday. The image of the Hebrew prophet Moses high-fiving Jesus Christ as both are having their erect penises vigorously masturbated by Ganesha, all while the Hindu deity anally penetrates Buddha with his fist, reportedly went online at 6:45 p.m. EDT, after which not a single bomb threat was made against the organization responsible, nor did the person who created the cartoon go home fearing for his life in any way. Though some members of the Jewish, Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist faiths were reportedly offended by the image, sources confirmed that upon seeing it, they simply shook their heads, rolled their eyes, and continued on with their day.”

You can check out the entire image here if you like, courtesy of The Onion.


One Ringey Dingey…..Two Ringey Dingey….



Iranian forces have reportedly fired at and seized a US cargo ship with 34 sailors on board, according to Saudi Arabian state TV.

The vessel has been directed to the Iranian port of Bandar Abbas on the southern coast, Al-Arabiya has reported.

Uh-oh. This won’t end well. That annoying 3 a.m. phone is ringing. Again. But will anyone in the White House answer this time…….?


$15.00 Can’t Fix Stupid

bad choices


This “Living Wage” / $15 per hour demand really drives me nuts. And I am yet to see a reporter call any of them out on the real issue.   I have this dialogue with my daughters all the time.  I keep the mantra simple so that it hopefully soaks in:

I cannot guarantee your success, but will do everything in my power to provide you with the tools you need to be successful.  The rest is up to you. I can, however, absolutely guarantee that you will have a much harder, much more stressful and much more difficult life if you

  1. Drop out of school
  2. Get pregnant young and/or out of wedlock
  3. Become addicted to drugs or alcohol
  4. Be convicted of a serious crime.

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Another one bites the dust….

Harry Reid, Chuck Schumer, Patty Murray

Good Riddance.  Harry Reid not seeking re-election.  Go figure.

On the verge of losing his own election and after losing the majority, Senator Harry Reid has decided to hang up his rusty spurs,” National Republican Senatorial Committee Director Ward Baker said



BUMPED: Wednesday’s Whodunnit!

Link here.

The Islamic State claimed responsibility Thursday for an attack on a popular museum in Tunisia that left 23 people dead a day earlier, according to an audio recording posted online.



In what will also be called by the MSM “a mostly peaceful art protest”, “someone” shot up a museum full of tourists in Tunis.  But nobody knows who or the motivation behind the attack.  Local officials are perplexed.

I used to live in Las Vegas but never a big gambler so let me ask: What do you think the over-under is on the terrorists being “radical Islamist”?  The culprits?  We have no idea what their motivation was.  It’s a mystery.

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The man on the left is sad because the man on the right died.



RIP Leonard Nimoy.


Live Long & Prosper.


How many times do you get Kafkatrapped?


This is an excellent read.  The Cliff’s Notes version below:

Five versions of Kafkatrapping–a form of argument that is so fallacious and manipulative that those subjected to it are entitled to reject it based entirely on the form of the argument, without reference to whatever particular sin or thoughtcrime is being alleged:

1. “Your refusal to acknowledge that you are guilty of {sin,racism,sexism, homophobia,oppression…} confirms that you are guilty of {sin,racism,sexism, homophobia,oppression…}.”

2.“Even if you do not feel yourself to be guilty of {sin,racism,sexism, homophobia,oppression…}, you are guilty because you have benefited from the {sinful,racist,sexist,homophobic,oppressive,…} behavior of others in the system.”

3.“Even if you do not feel yourself to be guilty of {sin,racism,sexism, homophobia,oppression…}, you are guilty because you have a privileged position in the {sinful,racist,sexist,homophobic,oppressive,…} system.”

4.“Skepticism about any particular anecdotal account of {sin,racism,sexism,homophobia,oppression,…}, or any attempt to deny that the particular anecdote implies a systemic problem in which you are one of the guilty parties, is itself sufficient to establish your guilt.”

5. “Your insistence on applying rational skepticism in evaluating assertions of pervasive {sin,racism,sexism,homophobia, oppression…} itself demonstrates that you are {sinful,racist,sexist,homophobic,oppressive,…}.”

Panchreston: an argument from which anything can be deduced because it is not falsifiable.

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Wilbur Weeps


I originally thought this article was from The Onion; it’s not.  Does anyone else get the feeling that the curve to societal stupidity is tightening?

The largest university press in the world has warned its authors not to mention pigs or pork in their books to avoid offending Muslims and Jews.

Oxford University Press (OUP) explained that their books must take into consideration other cultures of the world and must avoid mentioning pigs or “anything else which could be perceived as pork,” the International Business Times reported.

Now all references to pigs and pork must be stricken from the written word lest we offend Muslims.  I say this specifically because the article cites “Muslims and Jews” as the potentially offended, but the Jewish community says that’s ridiculous:

A spokesperson for the Jewish Leadership Council said, “Jewish law prohibits eating pork, not the mention of the word, or the animal from which it derives,” The Times reported.

So, as everyone already knows, this is simple Muslim Appeasement.  And from the largest university press in the world.  Why don’t we just cut to the chase and unilaterally convert everyone to Islam so that we can longer worry about offending their delicate sensibilities — we’re headed down that path already.

Meanwhile, at Vanagram’s Hall of Justice, we will be holding the annual PORK FEST (now the Charlie Hebdo Memorial Pork Fest) early this year, and with double the bacon, ribs, pork chops, sausage and roasts.  With lots of alcohol and naked women. And will use napkins with pictures of Mohammed on them.

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Frosty is Fucked

snowman explodes


Frosty the Snowman is a threat to Islam.  He must be destroyed.

A prominent Saudi Arabian cleric has caused a stir by declaring the building of snowmen as anti-Islamic.“It is not permitted to make a statue out of snow, even by way of play and fun,” Sheikh Munajjid said.  “It (building snowmen) is imitating the infidels, it promotes lustiness and eroticism,another user wrote. “May God preserve the scholars, for they enjoy sharp vision and recognize matters that even Satan does not think about.”

How fragile your belief system must be if drawing a picture or building a snowman is such an affront that you must be punished or killed.

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Too Soon?

french terror alertts

Overheard: “France declared war on Al Qaeda yesterday. Thank God — someone needed to teach the terrorists how to surrender.”


The Reason for the Season

On the way to work this morning, a local radio station reported on a “Christmas Poll”. The poll asked people, “What is purpose of Christmas?”

The results were more disappointing than even I expected….

More below the fold…

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