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Author Archives: Roy Ryder
Are you familiar with the legend of Cassandra? A character in the Greek myths, she was a princess of Troy, sister of Helenus (the same who launched a thousand ships), and able to predict the future. She was also believed to be insane because no one would believe her predictions of doom for the great city of Troy.
Here, on the morning of November 7, I feel a lot like Cassandra. The election of 2012 is a bitter pill to swallow. Mitt Romney is a good man and was a very good candidate. He ran a first-rate campaign and presented the American people with a stark choice between visions of America. Obama offered the quiet and gentle slumber of the well-cared-for slave of the system while Romney showed that through blood, sweat, and tears all Americans can rise and prosper. The populous voted on the path and more chose the easy downward slope toward mediocrity and the bane of punishing achievement.
Sometimes you can do all the right things and it still doesn’t work out. That’s life. So be it. But that doesn’t mean that we should stop being the voice of reason, the American Cassandra. While Cassandra is a tragic figure, and her prophecies didn’t stop the eventual destruction of Troy (although I like to think that I would have been leery of the damn horse), she was true to herself. She never stopped warning, never stopped trying to do the right thing. And that is something to be proud of.
And so, we must continue to work for the conservative cause because it’s right and gives, and has given, more people more prosperity and the opportunity for happiness than any other philosophy of fallible human beings. And, we must continue to warn the American people of the consequences of their choices because, unlike the Trojans, our destiny isn’t written by low-brow gods on Olympus: America’s destiny is in our own hands.
After four years of Obama and months and months of campaigning, I’m feeling wrung out and I bet a lot of you are, too. Consequently, here’s a little relief from possibly the funniest people in history. I saw this on TV when I was a kid and I’ve remembered it fondly for 35 years or so.
I don’t want to count my chickens before they hatch, but I think there is a very good chance that the people of the United States will elect Mitt Romney to the office of the President this coming Tuesday. While it’s possible that the vote is so close as to require an ugly situation like the 2000 election and the delayed verification, I believe that the margins of Romney’s victory will be sufficient to allow the outcome to be without doubt.
When this happens, liberals will be emotionally devastated. Obama sold himself to them as a secular charismatic messiah who would make all their socialist dreams come true. Those that have remained avid Obama supporters through the past four years are the true believers, the ones who have ignored the failures, the quicksand economy, and all the other ills that Obama has inflicted on us. They will be unable to accept Obama’s defeat and will lash out like immature adolescents at their perceived betrayal by their fellow Americans. I want to be ahead of the curve and have responses ready for them.
Obama didn’t lose and the election was stolen: This is the hardest to respond to because it’s so driven by specifics, but there are some generalities that can be stated. Elections in the United States are usually free and fair. Most people in county and state positions to conduct and monitor the election are trustworthy and there are safeguards in place to prevent tampering. Moreover, many locations have independent monitors (including from the UN for crying out loud). Unless there is solid evidence of intentional tampering, the election should stand.
Remember the horsepucky jobless rate that the Labor Department released a couple of weeks ago? The one where Obama’s Department of Labor tried to convince us that a gazillion jobs had just been found?
Everyone with an IQ higher than a houseplant looked at those numbers and realized that they were pure 100% bullflop. Jack Welch, the former CEO of General Electric, openly said that the numbers were cooked. A lot of Democrats, desperate for good news for Obama, tried shout about how great the economy was but it was hard to hear them over the sounds of stores and factories being boarded up.
Well, guess what. It’s looking like those numbers really were crap. ADP previously stated September had 162,000 new jobs in the private sector. However, ADP revised how it counts its numbers (it’s partnering with Moody Analytics) to be more accurate and the previously rosy picture for September has been slashed almost in half. Instead of 162,000 new jobs created last month in the private sector, ADP is reporting only 88,200 new jobs.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics will release its own revised figures for jobs created in September, and if ADP’s revised numbers are any indication, then hurricane Sandy isn’t the only big storm to hit Obama this week.
A while back, I put on my $3 turban from the discount Halloween store and was struck with the power of prophecy. It was really prophecy and flatulence, but let’s just stick with the first one.
My main prophecy was that by mid-October you’d be able to tell that Obama was done for. Here we are at October 23rd and Obama is behind in most polls and there’s a palpable stink of desperation coming from the White House. I also made a few predictions about how the media would begin to look for someone to blame for the fiasco that is the Obama 2012 campaign. Although I initially said that the media would turn on the Obama election campaign staff as the guilty party, my prodigious powers of prophecy (and flatulence) has failed me. Instead of turning on Axelrod and Ploufe and Chicago, they’ve turned on themselves.
Alec MacGilles writes in The New Republic (a magazine that is to liberal stupid as Saudi Arabia is to oil) that the real killer of the Obama campaign was not a recovery strangled in the crib, not a force-feeding of a diseased healthcare plan, and not a feckless foreign policy of self-abasement. No, the real killer is, and has been, the media in its never-ending drive to come up with a good comeback story. MacGilles states that “The Narrative” of the Romney’s stomping of Obama in the first debate was so powerful and so overwhelming that it forced the media to report it and build a self-fulfilling prophecy of Romney superiority.
MacGilles’ theory nicely allows liberals to ignore such facts as Obama’s re-election was ruined by Obama somewhere between 2009 and 2012, and that the liberal agenda has been as popular as a dead squirrel in a punchbowl since 2010. It also allows liberal journalists (but I repeat myself) to see themselves as victims of their own awesome powers, as if they are capable of accidentally killing that which they love, like some kind of cross-eyed William Tell. It also lets them forget for a few blessed moments that the mainstream media is held in the same popular esteem as those pegs you use to wipe crap off your shoe.
Hold on, I feel another prophecy coming on….never mind. It wasn’t prophecy after all. It was that second thing. You might want to light a match.
Regular readers of The Real Revo know that we have a strong respect for badass people who do awesomely badass things. This includes the military, and not exclusively that of the United States. Aficionados of badassery know that one particular group of hyper-badasses are the Gurkas, a people from Nepal who serve in the British and Indian militaries and are apparently made of some form of organic titanium. Recent evidence of Gurka badassery include one former Gurka who defeated a Taliban assault in Afghanistan by beating them off with a machine gun tripod. Another case involved dozens of thieves stopping a train to rob it and coming out minus several thieves and limbs.
In the most recent case of Gurka badassery, a Gurka veteran was attacked at an ATM by a scumbag armed with a knife. Taitex Phlamachha broke the scumbag’s knife, beat on the perp for a while, and then held onto him until the police arrived.
It wasn’t until the police used a metal detector to find the broken blade that Phlamachha realized that first five inches of the knife was in his left arm.
Let’s recap: Phlamachha broke the bad guy’s knife using his own flesh. Then, while holding the knife fragment safely in the folds of his tricep, he beat the guy into submission and held him for the cops. He didn’t notice the five-inch-long piece of metal embedded in his arm until someone later said “Holy crap! You’ve got a five-inch piece of metal in your f****** arm!”
Taitex Phlamachha, you are a badass and we salute you!
File this under Are You F****** Kidding Me?!: After the most recent debate, the one in which Romney abused Obama like an inflatable love toy at a biker festival, Obama left the podium thinking that he’d actually won. In an amazing display of self-deception, Obama honestly believed he’d performed pretty well, according to the best journalism source available regarding America’s President Obama – the UK’s Mail Online.
The debate has been universally accredited as a disaster from Obama. Romney was revealed to the world to be smart, charming, funny, and entirely presidential while Obama managed to look like he was a reluctant visitor from a group home. The Left has blamed the moderator, the lack of teleprompters, and generally everyone except their Demigod. Psychoanalysts around the country have reported their phones ringing off the hook as limp-wristed liberals suffer a devastating attack of reality.
How did this happen?
It happened because Obama was too much of a douchebag to bother to prepare for one of the most fundamental confrontations of the entire campaign. He thought so little of Romney that he blew off preparations the day before the debate to go sightseeing at The Hoover Dam. He ignored his aides and refused to use prepared remarks, including one-liners about Romney’s “47%” comments. In short, he relied on what he believed was his own gifts, only to find out that he’s not nearly as awesome in reality as he dreams he is in his own mind.
Obama’s Labor Department announced today that the unemployment rate fell to 7.8%, a full 0.2% below the 8% that has hung around Obama’s neck like a millstone. It’s amazing that after 43 months of craptacular unemployment, just before the election it should drop into the “shitty but better” range, as opposed to the “simply shitty” range we’ve been in for so long.
Yeah, amazing because it’s crap.
The household survey, the part that is used to calculate the unemployment rate, isn’t based on real numbers. It’s mostly an educated guess by the Labor Department (Obama’s Labor Department). Real numbers would be something like official payroll numbers, but those take a long time to collect and the household survey has been used for a long time, so everyone kind of figures that in.
Unless you screw around with how you calculate the household survey. Based on today’s report, the household survey numbers are the best since 1983. You tell me if that feels right.
The reason we’re now at 7.8% is because OBAMA’S Labor Department decided that they needed to increase the number of people employed by THE GOVERNMENT over the previous two months.
Labor Secretary Linda Solis: “Hey! Surprise! We found a whole shit-load of people we didn’t know were employed! They were just in the back and the new guy forgot to count them.”
They have also decided that part-time employment is just like full-time employment and so they get counted just like full-time employed people. I’ll be sure to tell my nephew that his part-time job is just like a full-time job. That will make sleeping on his mother’s couch because he can’t afford an apartment so much easier.
Simply put, Obama is so desperate to win that he’s outright manipulating data to make himself look better.
What a dirtbag.
With the American Presidential election is under way and the Middle East enjoying another cycle of crazy, it’s easy to forget that the rest of the world is out there. Something important is happening in the Pacific, and it ain’t good for us.
There is a set of uninhabited and gawdforsaken rocky islands off the coast of China called the Senkaku (if your Japanese) or the Diaoyu (if you’re Chinese). They are about 100 nautical miles north of Taiwan (which the PRC doesn’t recognize) and 200 miles south of Okinawa (which the Japanese sure as hell recognize). These were administered by the US until 1972 and nobody really gave a shit about them other than as an impediment to maritime travel. However, the Japanese government recently purchased the land for whatever reason from the owners (who were probably delighted to find a buyer) and pissed off the Chinese, who claim that the islands are theirs by right of history or whatever.
I’m going to start a riot with this post and be deplored by the Obama administration. Granted I’m making it easy because the intended rioters are militant Muslims and they’ll riot over anything. Even nothing. Which is what I’m going use.
Hold onto your butts. Here goes:
That’s it. That’s all I need. Because behind that doodle is Muhammad. Not just a Muhammad, like so many people are named, but THE Muhammad. The one who wrote wrote the Koran after supposedly receiving revelation from Allah. That Muhammad.
And for that cartoon, and all the riots and deadly carnage that it causes, the State Department and President Obama deplore me. They deplore anyone who uses their God-given First Amendment rights to do or say something that might set off Islamic militants. Some left-leaning fascists would like to have me arrested and my work banned. It doesn’t matter that the rioting Islamic militants are murderous criminal bastards intent on destroying America and the cartoons or movies or whatever are a flimsy pretext. Somehow, that doodle or movie or whatever are to blame and Obama and Co. want the Islamists to stop being bad, even if they have to ignore the Bill of Rights to do it.
Now, here’s a guy that looks just like Muhammad, but his name isn’t Muhammad.
It’s Billy Bob. Billy Bob isn’t Muhammad. Billy Bob was born in Colorado in 1988 and drives a Chevy. He just likes to wear Arab clothing because he thinks it’s cool. Billy Bob at a lot of lead paint flakes as a kid, but hey, it’s his choice.
For that image, no riots, no stoning or decapitation. Moreover, the State Department and President Obama don’t care. Why? Because Billy Bob isn’t what Islamists are screaming about and Billy Bob and Obama doesn’t have have the instinct to bow and grovell for it.
But you know what? I lied. It really was Muhammad again. I guess I should wait for the Islamists to come get me. I hope they get here before the Obama administration does.
The recent wave of coordinated attacks on American and Western embassies around the Middle East has led to the deaths of an American ambassador and several other Americans. The German Embassy in the Sudan has been burned and its occupants are in hiding. The nations that these embassies reside in have done next to nothing to prevent, and in some cases colluded with, the aggressors, who are known Islamic militants.
Our President has spent his entire time in office bowing to, apologizing to, and exalting our enemies and this is the natural outcome of his actions. The Arab Spring that the Obama administration praised and cultured has grown a crop of murderous Islamic extremists that now lash out at us. Thanks to Obama’s feckless “lead from behind” failure, Pax Americana is dead and our nation is neither feared nor respected.
Embassies are considered the territory of the ambassador nation and receive diplomatic protection and special privileges. However, the real protection given an embassy is not in laws or agreements, but in the power projection of its nation. Our enemies rightly consider Obama a weakling, and so they have no fear of retaliation.
This wasn’t always so. The embassy is American territory, and it should be defended as such. The attackers are trained and coordinated, but they are few. If we have but the will to use the force necessary for defense, these attacks will stop and America will again be remembered as a nation NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH.
Here’s an example of how to mount an effective defense.
The Democrat National Convention was like a fart: It came, it stank, and it went. All that’s left behind is a vague odor and dumpsters across Charlotte full of Forward signs. Delegates leaving the city have a hangover, and it isn’t from too much booze. It’s because Obama’s great speech was lousy. What could have been a rousing speech that filled delegates with enthusiasm and intellectual ammunition for the final leg of the race was instead a boring and empty pastiche of previous crap. The man was firing blanks from an empty magazine.
Swami Ryder has put on his turban and now makes his prediction: Obama is done. His failure at the convention, combined with today’s jobless report and years of craptacular leadership, have killed his re-election chances. The actual vote will be somewhat close, but from this point on its pretty much a sure thing. Those pundits and talking heads without blinders (or who can take them off in private) feel it now, and the idea will become more concrete in the weeks ahead. By mid-October, it will be obvious.
Here are the signs you should look for to see if Swami Ryder is right:
Does the 2012 campaign have you down? Are you tired of the national conversation focused on things besides the “important issues” you want people to hear about? Is your candidate behind in the polls, unenthusiastic, and a huge disappointment?
If so, you might be a Democrat activist.
Or a journalist.
But I repeat myself.
The “enthusiasm gap” that President Obama is attempting to overcome isn’t just among civilians. Journalists, those hard-working advocates of utterly fair and unbiased reporting, are feeling it as well. Phrases like “devastating joylessness”, “disillusionment” and “treadmill existence” are popping up all over among journalists. It’s funny how that has cropped up at just the same time as it has among Democrats, unions, and lovers of all things Obama. Strange, really.
Politico has put out a piece so self-indulgent and so oblivious to its faults that it’s laughable. Reporters: We loathe 2012 campaign, is a cry for attention from spoiled Obama media whores who cannot understand why they are unable to dupe America into investing in another four years of craptacular leadership. More below the fold…
I’m not normally one to count my chickens before they hatch, but in this case there is a valid reason for doing so. Polls show Romney and Obama very close, but other indicators such as the size of crowds and enthusiasm are clearly in Romney’s favor. At the beginning of the year, this race was Obama’s to lose, and now Romney could not only be the winner, but by a large margin. Again, I caution against unreasonable optimism, but it’s within the realm of possibility.
How will Obama react to a being made a one-term President? Obama is a brittle narcissist who becomes angry and spiteful with opponents. However, losing re-election isn’t just having your policy opposed by a congresscritter, it’s the ultimate rejection. And this rejection will have a sharper sting that it might normally possess because Obama will have fallen from the heights of not only the White House, but that of Messiah and Lightbringer.
So, how will the Obamas react to being forcibly given a change of address?
The one thing that the White House press corps believes in more than anything else is that they are pretty damn awesome. While it’s the President who says things and occasionally does things, it’s the White House Freaking press corps that informs the world and tells us lowly peons what it all means. They ride on Air Force Freaking One, have thoughtful interviews with Very Important People, including the President (when not golfing) and the Vice President (when he’s lucid). They are super serious journalists and even the most lowly White House press corps member would rather rip out his/her own intestines with a shrimp fork than report on anything not earth-shatteringly significant.
But that’s not what the President thinks of them. To Obama, the White House press corps are on the same par as the blowdried subspecies that do celebrity shows like Entertainment Tonight and the barely sentient reporters at People magazine. We know this because Obama’s spokescritter Stephanie Cutter told us so on CNN, a network that claims to be hard news. More below the fold…
You can always count on the dinosaur mainstream press to signal how they really feel. If a “conservative” is being showered with praise, you can bet that the person in question is really a squishy moderate who will bend over for a liberal power block at a moment’s notice. If a conservative is a real threat to their socialist/secular agenda, that person is portrayed in a way that would make Hitler look tame by comparison.
And, if a liberal in power is in serious danger of being defeated, you can count on the MSM to provide other liberals a lifeline to explain how it really isn’t their ideology that failed. It’s always something else, such as the candidate (Jimmy Carter), the electoral system (Al Gore), or even stupid voters (What’s The Matter With Kansas?). There must be something – anything – to blame so as to avoid a serious internal dialogue about the consequences of a political dogma that does not work in the real world.
So, I was pretty happy to come home from a fishing trip in the Uintah Mountains to find the above Time magazine in my mailbox. It’s a clone of hundreds of pieces that try to tell us that evil corporate fat cats use their ill-gotten cash to manipulate the system and deny the proletariat their “real” votes, oppress minorities and womyn, and cause the common cold and premature kitten death. I’m pretty sure these stories are written in advance and kept in Time editor Mark Halpern’s office in a cabinet marked “In Case of Imminent Defeat, Break Glass and Print”.
Whatever. It’s just nice to know that even those who wear rose-colored glasses can still see the shape of things to come, even if they won’t admit it to themselves.
This has been out on the intertubes for a while, but I ran into it yesterday and it’s had quite an effect on me. This picture has:
- Ronald Reagan
- shooting a submachine gun
- while charging into battle
- on a velociraptor
- that is waving a tattered American flag
For my money, that’s awsomeness to the 5th power.
You know those pictures of a naked or shirtless Obama riding a unicorn and farting incandescent rainbows? This picture sneaks out of its web page at night and terrorizes those pictures.
This picture makes unborn children in Democrat women’s wombs kick them in the bladder.
This picture makes Bloomberg curl up in a fetal position and hide in his money bin.
Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children (USMC, Marines, Leathernecks, Jarheads, Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential, etc.) have ordered 12,000 shiny new 101-year old pistols. A $22.5 million contract has been signed with Colt Defense LLC to supply the thousands of tan-colored M45 Close Quarter Battle pistols, plus parts and logistics. The M45 is a .45 ACP caliber pistol and a direct descendent of the Colt 1911, which was designed by one of my personal heroes, John Browning.
When the US military went to the 9mm pistol in the 1980s, there was (and remains) considerable bitching. The M9 Berretta pistol carried more ammunition in the magazine and was chambered for a round that our NATO allies used, thus aiding logistics. However, the 9mm round is considered by many to be an inferior bullet that fails to stop a human being in combat the same way the larger and heavier .45 ACP round can. Personally, I’d rather not get shot by either.
I’m no gun bunny, but I appreciate good design. The fact that this firearm is more than a century old and remains in service is a testament to intelligence and wisdom of the creator and the utility of the weapon. The Colt M1911 is perhaps the single most recognized weapon associated with the American military, even 30 years after it was “replaced” (the Marines never fully adopted the M9). As can be inferred from the color, it will mostly be found in the land of sand, where a lot of front-line soldiers will be happy to have one.
Personally, I like the Berretta, but I’m cursed with stubby little fingers and every .45 I’ve ever shot didn’t feel right. Still, if my life depended on it and given a choice between the 9mm and the .45, I’d feel better knowing that I was walking with John Browning.
A bomb detonated on a bus full of Israeli tourists at a popular Black Sea resort in Bulgaria, killing six people today. There were also 32 wounded, including an 11-year old girl and two pregnant women. Nine tourists are reportedly missing.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu blamed the Iranians for the attack.
This “is an Iranian terror attack that is spreading across the world,” Netanyahu said. “Israel will react strongly to Iran’s terror.”
It’s been known for a long time that the US and Israel have been sabotaging the Iranian nuclear program with cyber attacks and viruses and Israel is the prime suspect in the assassination of Iranian scientists. The Iranians have been playing hardball as well, with arrests and assassinations of their own. However, assuming Netanyahu is correct, this is the first time in a long time that the Iranians have so blatantly opted for a terror attack against Israeli civilians.
This is a game changer and not in a good way. An Iranian willingness to go this far underlines the fact that the current regime will conduct terrorism to acquire atomic weapons. It also shows how damaging the previous attacks on the program have been. However, we should take warning because a newfound gusto for bloody attacks like this may foreshadow that Iran now believes it is close enough to actually having an atomic device that they don’t have to put up with US/Israeli actions anymore.
As for Israel, when Netanyahu states that they will react strongly, expect much more than a limp-wristed letter to the UN. The last time Israel “reacted strongly” to a threat, the IDF literally turned off Syria’s air defenses and erased a covert North Korean-built nuclear reactor. I don’t know if Israel can do the same thing to Iran (Iran has upgraded their air defenses recently), but it wouldn’t surprise me if there isn’t an Iranian facility in the crosshairs in the near future.
The Punisher™ is a Marvel Comic title that is near and dear to my heart. Unlike most other comic book heroes, Frank Castle, aka The Punisher, has no super powers, no alien origin, or anything else that makes him beyond human. He’s just a well-trained antihero vigilante who uses his skills in a way that most of us wish we could.
Hollywood has not been kind to The Punisher. While spandex-clad heroes have been given high-dollar treatment and seen good returns, poor Frank Castle has never had a film that really worked. The best of the lot was 2004’s The Punisher with Thomas Jane in the starring role. Jane’s excellent performance was hamstrung by an uneven script, poor marketing, and John Travolta as the bad guy.
However, at the most recent San Diego Comic-Con, Jane aired an independently produced twelve minute Punisher short film called Dirty Laundry (below) that captures the awesomeness of The Punisher. Enjoy. VERY NSFW because of language, violence, and abuse of a bottle of Jack Daniels.
San Bernardino became the third city in California to declare bankruptcy in the past month. The city is so down on its luck that it can’t make payroll through the summer, let alone the rest of the year. The interim city manager told Mayor Patrick Morris and the City Council that they had a deficit of $46 million and jack squat in the bank.
It’s interesting to note that the LA Times actually mentions that “lucrative labor costs” are part of the problem. Apparently it’s so obvious that even the mainstream media has to report it.
Also worth noting is that the current administration has accused previous administrations of cooking the books.
City Atty. James Penman said city budget officials had falsified documents presented to the mayor and council for 13 of the last 16 years, masking the city’s deficit spending.
“For the last 16 years the budget prepared for the council showed the city was in the black,” Penman said, not naming those allegedly responsible. “The mayor and the council were not given accurate documents.”
I’m willing to bet that Penman is talking about the widespread practice of not showing all liabilities when figuring out the budget, particularly outstanding pension costs. Just as predicted, these came back to bite San Bernardino in the butt. However, before you indulge in any schadenfreude, remember that the Federal government does the same thing and if you include those liabilities, our federal debts are about four times greater than those officially published.
We’re all boned. It’s just a matter of some getting boned before others.