Author Archives: Bman

Why We Love The Revo

For our newer readers, just a typical day here at the Revo…

This is the video that brought me here…

Take a break RD. On behalf of all of us, you know damned well that we appreciate this place more than you can fathom. Take a break. Do some woodworking and whatnot, and come back with charged batteries.

Sincerely, God Bless.

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How To Make A Candlestick Out Of Wood

Pretty fuckin’ interesting!

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Presidential Campaign Announcement: I Support Candidate Clump

bmanwide2

Greetings!

It is with my deepest regerts regrets regerts that I am informing you, that I, Bman, have decided to drop out of the run for President of Toys R Us United States. After losing the coveted RD Walker, Esq. endorsement to Gary Fucking Johnson, I realize that it’s time to step aside and let the people have a true choice for Supreme leader. Heck, I wouldn’t have time anyway because Men’s League Hockey is starting up soon I will be busy with that and whatnot.

In any case, I would like to take the time to thank several important people for their support these last three or four months or what-have-ya….

(write your name here and the space below)

As for me, I’m going to grab a 7-pack of cool, refreshing Pabst Blue Ribbon, sit in the driveway until the sun hits me in the back of the neck.

Oh yea, I’m also endorsing President Clump. Almost forgot that part. Long live the Clump!

Former Presidentially Yours,
Bman- This One’s Got The Couch

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The Most Dangerous Man To Run For President

Hillary knocks is out of the part with this one. Pretty much what we’ve been saying here.

Hillary Clinton has taken her rhetorical attack on Donald Trump to a new level, asserting that the presumptive Republican presidential nominee will be the most dangerous major presidential nominee in history.

In a preview clip of an interview with CBS anchor Charlie Rose that’s set to air Tuesday, the former secretary of state slammed Trump over what she characterized as “simplistic, easy answers” to major problems.

“No self-discipline, no self-control, no sense of history, no understanding of the limits of the kind of power that any president should impose upon himself,” Clinton said. “He has shown none of that.”

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Another Reason Not To Vote For Trump

Hillary Clinton says that, according to analysts, Donald Trump would increase debt by $30 trillion.

“Compare what Sen. Sanders and I intend to do with Donald Trump’s plan,” Clinton said. “His tax plan would make our current system even worse. Independent analysts say he would add $30 trillion to the national debt in order to give a massive gift to the wealthiest Americans, Wall Street money managers and our largest corporations. But after all, what else should we expect from someone who calls himself ‘The King of Debt?’ “

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Cana-duh To Change National Anthem Lyrics

If you are a frequent reader of the Revo, you may have noticed that I have made several pokes to Americas Hat from time to time. I have every entitlement too, in my humble opinion. I’ve spent enough time up there. I feel I am qualified to do so. I see Canadians here every weekend with their Manitoba license plates driving around aimlessly and driving like idiots. The only safe place to be during this time is hunkered down at home in the safety of your dwelling. Do not drive during the Canadian Invasion on Saturdays. I warn you. They drive like moranic morons. I must say, that they drive worst than Minnesotans. No shit!

However, there are times when I shuck off my disdain for the dipshits and admire them from time to time. Such as this video. I admit, that seeing the patriotism of these losers was quite touching.

However, now somebody thinks that the lyrics of their National Anthem isn’t “inclusive” enough. For some reason, I support the Canadian National Anthem as is. It’s actually a nice song. But this is the kind of bullshit we will be dealing with for the rest of our lives. Get used to it.

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Real Revo Official Poll: Who’s Hotter?

From time to time on this blog you may have encountered a debate about who is the hottest female country singer of all time. It has been known that some of those debates here can get quite heated. I would like to settle the debate once and for all.

If you are the RD Walker type, you may say without hesitation that it would be Donnie Osmond Marie Osmond. If you are the Bman type, you just may go with Suzy Bogguss. If you are the Sortawitte type, you may say Mamma Cass but she wont be a choice. So who is hotter? Marie or Suzy?

Marie

Suzy

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University of North Dakota Has A New Logo…

You may be familiar with the story. The NCAA forced the university to change the Fighting Sioux nickname because it was deemed “hostile and abusive” by a person or two. They are now called the Fighting Hawks. Logo brought to you by today’s SJW.

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More below the fold…

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Dad Is Rad! Happy Fathers Day!

Of course, I can’t forget to post one of my favorite movie clips ever. I remember the countless times when my Dad and I, after he would get home from work, would be in the back yard playing catch and having him hit me grounders to field. “Make it so I have to dive for them dad!” I would say enthusiastically. It was a simple way that we spent time together, but very memorable. He enjoyed it as much as I did.

Thanks for the grounders, Dad! Happy Father’s Day!

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Happy Ghostbusters Day

ghostbusters

On this day in 1984, the blockbuster Ghostbusters was released. Thanks Pete, Ray, and Egon.

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Radioactive

I was at the carwash yesterday while this song came on. I never heard it before, but I liked it. I couldn’t help but think of Trump and his Trumpkin culists. Not sure if the lyrics would be from a Trumpkin or from a #Nevertrump person. Perhaps they could be from both. Anywho, enjoy the song.

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Will The DOJ Find NoDak In Violation Of ’64 Civil Rights Act?

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The all important “Public Bathroom Use Laws” in Title VII, Section Z, Subsection (zz)223.789A-22B.9, may be in violation.

Samantha Bergh says, “Right before Garth Brooks was to start we went to the bathroom. The women’s line was a good 100 people long. It was insanely long and there was no wait for the men’s so I just went into the men’s.”

Samantha says there was a security guard and a Fargo Police Officer waiting to escort them out of the venue.

The FargoDome General Manager was unaware of this incident but says when a women uses the men’s bathroom she would usually just get a warning unless the conversation escalated.

“I hadn’t even been drinking. I wasn’t drunken belligerent, rude or anything like that.”

She probably could’ve talked her way out of being thrown out of the concert. I’m thinking a two word sentence would’ve done it. Anyone care to take a stab at it?

More.

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Primitive Technology

This guy is a modern day Tarzan. The nice thing about his videos is that he doesn’t have music playing, no talking, just demonstrates by doing. Not a sliver of modern day technology is being used, except for the camera to record. This guy will probably be the last man alive on earth after the apocalypse. This is quite impressive.

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70 Years Ago Today: The Battle of Alcatraz

Of course, this was before Clint Eastwood broke out in 1979.

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Presidential Campaign Announcement

bmansmall

Greetings!

As you know, some here have endorsed Libertarian candidate Gary “Small Johnson” Johnson for President.

Here is what you need to know about Mr. Smalls:

Abortion: Gary “Small Johnson” Johnson is a staunch supporter of women’s “health care”. He believes that abortion rights are the law of the land and should remain to be. This guy loves abortion. If he was able, he would have one himself just for shits and giggles. Oh, but he did vote against late term abortions I guess. Abortion is abortion Mr. Small Johnson.

Immigration: Well, this sucka believes in a robust work force from foreign countries. As long as they don’t murder people, they are welcome here! “Make immigration easier!” is the cry from this peckerless fool.

Climate Change: Yep. This guy believes in it, and pretty much believes humans are to blame. Ok, he did say that the important question about climate change is whether the government’s efforts to regulate, tax and manipulate the marketplace in order to impact that change are cost-effective — or effective at all. That doesn’t mean jack shit! More politician speak.

Second Amendment: This guy is quite whishy-washy on this issue. He never comes out and says he supports the 2A…AND 2B. He did say that he believes responsible adults, (notice he didn’t say law abiding), should be able to arm themselves….but he never says with what! Arm themselves with potato(e) peelers? Rocks? Chopsticks? Your guess is good as mine. He never once mentions the 2A….or 2B.

Well, there you have it. I can go on and on if I wanted to, but I have a thing.

Later Taters.

Presidentially Yours,
Bman

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Happy Earth Day

Celebrate with Lenin and a unicorn. Have a good’un.

lenin

Unicorn realistic

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Presidential Campaign Announcement

bmansmall

Greetings!

As you know, I am running for President of the United States of America. I apologize for not posting more often, but the campaign trail has been a fairly busy road. Very busy. Really, really busy. I’ve been more busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest. And that’s busy. With a man that has at least one leg, I can tell you from experience on how busy that is. Really busy.

As many of you know, I have made a promise not to except any monetary contributions to my campaign. Not one. This is all self funded. No donations from any corporation, private or public sector unions, farmers guild, Shrimp Boat Capt’n guild, Lollipop Guild, or from NAMBLA. It is all self funded. Not one penny comes from anyone. Not one red cent. It’s all self funded. I have personally put in over one’s and one’s of dollars to fund this campaign. I think it’s important for you to know that. I won’t ask ANYBODY for a dime. I work two jobs which means I work at least 25 hours a week. I don’t get overtime as many of you don’t, so I don’t expect you to finance my campaign. I believe you should keep as much money as possible so that government can decide what to do with it. I will finance my campaign myself because I believe we can make Great America again!

Having said all of that, I do have a possible solution to the gender pay gap. As you are all aware, men make at least 22% more in wages than women. 97% economists agree to that. It’s proven economical science, folks. It isn’t right. Not by a long chalk. I have a plan that can turn this around and make it more fair; men will need to pay 22% more in taxes than women. We all want equality don’t we? This will ensure equality, I can tell you that right now. Yes, perhaps women may see a 22% decrease in the value of their birthday/Christmas/Valentimes Day/Anniversary/Groundhogs Day gifts, I understand that. But think of the bright side! Equality!!

I don’t support the $15 an hour minimum wage. Nor Sir! All of the politicians see a need for this wage. I say it’s rubbish. Unacceptable really. I really believe that. That’s something that Barney Sanderson believes in. I surely don’t. I DO support a $16 an hour wage however. That dollar increase is like being able to purchase a 7-pack of PBR a day! That increases the standard of living for everyone! As long as you have two jobs that is….

Well that’s it for now. My next article I will discuss Bigfoot and the government conspiracy to hide it.

Later Taters.

Presidentially Yours,
Bman
2016 Presidential Candidate
“This One’s Got The Touch”
Supporter of 2A and 2B

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Happy National Beer Day!

Sexy-Pabst-Blue-Ribbon-Beer-Girl-Souvenir

I don’t always drink Pabst, but when I do, I prefer it.

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Kasich’s Hand

It is no secret to longtime readers here, that I like to occasionally dabble in enjoying the cool refreshment known as Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. Since I have the day off tomorrow, I figured that I would satisfy my taste buds and stop at Biff’s Beer and Beef Stick Emporium Bottle Shop on my way home from work, so that I may purchase a 7-pack of PBR to calm my said over zealous buds. I chose bottles this evening, for I felt like playing a quick Texas Hold ’em poker game against Pabst Brewing Co.

The rules of Texas Hold ’em is pretty simple; you are dealt two cards, (as shown at the bottom of the picture above). Then, the players play off of the community draw, (Shown above my two “cards”), to form the best 5 cards that you can create. Straights, pairs, flushes, full….you know what? If you don’t know how to play cards, go back to baking cup cakes, Sweet Pea.

Now, If you were in a garage playing with two other players who had a shit load of chips, and you only had a hand full, and this was the last hand of the night, and after this game, a chip total would be counted and highest chip holder was named the winner, would you bother to stay in? Mind you, even if you went all in and won, your chip total still wouldn’t beat either player. Not by a long shot.

I stick by my theory.

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American Fotoplayer

This is one strange instrument. I saw this over at Iotwreprort.com. I never knew it existed. It was primarily used for the music and sounds for silent movies back when Ray Davies was a teen. I’m pretty sure it was also used for Merry Melodies and Warner Bros. cartoons back in the day as well. It really is quite fascinating. This is truly worth your time.

First, the tutorial.

Click here to see it in action. You wont be disappointed. More below the fold…

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Nigg Beats Man From Subway

veggie-sub

Convicted pedophile and former Subway pitchman Jared Fogle was attacked on the yard at the Colorado prison where he’s serving a 15-year sentence.

The Indiana sex offender was left bloodied and bruised when fellow inmate Steven Nigg, 60, pushed him to the ground and threw multiple punches into his face at Englewood prison.

Nigg, who is serving time for a fire gun conviction tied to a series of robberies, walked away unharmed, while Fogle was left with a bloody nose, swollen face and scratches on his neck.

Looks like the pedophile is getting more than just foot-longs in prison. By the way, can someone explain to me what a “fire gun” is? It sounds like a lot of fun. I want one.

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Presidential Campaign Announcement

bman

Greetings!

Allow myself to introduce….myself. My name is Bman and I am running for President of the United States of America. I have been a member of this blog for quite sometime as the Camp Director of the Real Revo Outpost- Frozen Tundra District. I know what it takes to be tough because you have to be tough to live in the frozen tundra, I can tell you that right now. It can get pretty cold here, so you have to be tough, and I’m tough. No one, and I mean no one who is running for president is as tough as me. No one. Not a soul. I mean, it get’s so cold here, that one time I was taking a leak in my backyard, nothing came out but yellow ice sickles. I shit you not. It takes a tough guy to become president, and I’m that tough.

This letter is to inform you of the many, many, very, very, good qualities and experiences I have to make a very, very good President of America. A lot better president than the other people running, except maybe Tom Cruz from Texas. It’s pretty cool that an actor is running for president. I just found out he was running a few days ago and was blown away by it, because I really liked the movie An Officer and a Gentleman, where he plays a lawyer and really reams Jack Nicholas in the courtroom scene. “You can’t handle the truth!” Loved that part. Good movie. Really, really good movie, but I will tell you this right now, I think you deserve to know the truth and the truth is what I will give you. I think you can handle the truth. The other candidates won’t tell you the truth because they, like Jack Nicholas, don’t think you can handle it, so they just lie. They lie about everything. I learned my lesson long ago about lying when my mom broke my Fat Albert paddleball game across my ass for lying. It hurt so bad, that I never told another lie. The kids in the neighborhood when I was growing up referred to me as George Washington, Jr. “He never tells a lie!”, they always said. So I got that going for me.

I’m also very tough on the important issues. Gun rights anyone? You better believe it! I fully support the 2A AND the 2B. How many candidates can say they support both? Most of them probably don’t know what they are. But I do, and I support them. As an avid duck hunter, I know the importance of gun rights. There is nothing better than slinking through the tall grass on your belly, through the mud, sneaking up on ducks. When I pick one out, and get it in the crosshairs of my scope, BAM!! It’s deader than disco. I’ve bagged lots and lots of ducks. And don’t worry, I got me a huntin’ license, haha. Poaching is bad. Poaching is very, very bad.

As you know, some of the candidates support PP and I do as well. I believe everyone should as a matter of fact. Proper Preparation is so very, very important. It’s so important, that I’ve added more “P’s” to it. PPPPPP is my credo. That means Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance. I believe in that. But I’m the only candidate who doesn’t just support the two P’s, I support all 6 P’s. no one else can say that. Oh, and by the way before I forget, I’m also Pro-life, just incase you were wondering.

I also believe in religion. Religion is a great thing. It really, really is. I believe all religion should be welcomed and be free. If you read the 1st Amendment, you will see our founding fathers wrote about free religion. Believe me, it’s in there. I read the Constitution tens of times and nobody, and I mean nobody knows it better than me. Inside and out. Religion was meant to be free of charge. Could you imagine charging someone to sit in church? Not on my watch, Bub. I’m a Christian, and no one is a bigger fan of the Christian faith and rock than I am. No one. That one song by the band Kansas is one of my favorite songs. I will say, and I don’t mean to honk my own horn, that I actually improved the religion at my church. Wanna know how? I never did like the taste of the little crackers that they hand out during communion. I always thought that Jesus tasted a little bland. I mean it’s JESUS for his sakes! Don’t you think the great and all powerful Christ would taste better? I do. I really, really do. So I talked the preacher man into putting a little dab of cheese wiz on the cracker. And guess what happened? More people were choosing to eat Jesus at church more than anytime in the past. I’m a man who can get things done. And I also want to turn this country back to God. I believe we need to get back to our national motto of God Bless Us, Everyone.

I have a plan to eliminate the high cost of health care and insurance costs. This plan is so much better than Obamacare which I call Obama-scare, (ha ha). My plan, which I will not go into detail, will really, really, transform the health care industry. It really will. The average family of one will pay a lot less than they do today, I can tell you that right now. My plan is perfect. You just have to trust me on this one. Once I’m elected, you will see what this plan will do, and you are going to love it. I will just give you one little hint: helmets.

And hey! Did you know I was named after Sir Elton John? True story. Just thought I would throw that little tidbit in there for ya’s.

Some people are claiming that they want to make America great again. I say, we should make Great America again. I mean, have you ever been to a Great America amusement park? I went to one back in 1982 in the San Francisco area. It kicked-ass. They had a double decker carrousel. Building more Great Americas would create jobs! Thousands and thousands of decent minimum wage jobs. A Great America on every corner is going to happen when I’m elected, I can promise you that. And I will make Euro Disney pay for it!

The November elections are only a short time away. I think it’s the 8th or 9th if I’m not mistaken. The time for your support is now! The time to support a champion, your champion, is now! I know I’m a longshot, but one of my favorite movies is Rocky and Rocky II. That guy came out of the woodwork and beat the heavyweight champion of the world, and with your help, we can take Apollo Creed down again! You all remember Alvin Greene? He was an eyelash away from being senator in South Carolina. It can be done, folks. It can be done. And at the end of the day, people won’t be saying to me, “Who are you?”, for they will know that I’m Bman, the 45th President of the United States of America!

God Bless Us, Everyone!

Presidentially yours,

Bman

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RIP Sonny James

He was 87.

href=”http://therealrevo.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/sonny-james.jpg” rel=”attachment wp-att-141312″>sonny james

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A Ray Of Hope

I don’t need to say anymore. I will say that the person wearing this shirt was a 24 year old Millennial, who doesn’t give a rip about other people’s “safe zones.” With all the flak we sometimes give the 20-something aged crowd on this blog, sometimes you stumble upon one occasionally who gives you a ray of hope for our country. There are future Revoistas out there.

isis

This young man was at the bar last night while I was working. Now that I think of it, the birth of our nation ultimately started with the talks and conversations of like minded individuals who routinely met in pubs, taverns and bars. Perhaps our nation can also be saved in such establishments. I encourage all of our readers to get to your local bar, order a Pabst Blue Ribbon, and drum up a conversation with a stranger, preferably a Millennial. You may end up being surprised what they say. They aren’t all like pajama boy….

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Bernie Sanders Fails To Gain Coveted NORK Endorsement

InsideNorthKorea11
DPRK News Service

@DPRK_News U.S. Senator Bernard Sanders dismissed as witless oaf peddling false socialism to degenerate blockheads.

He’s toast.

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