Author Archives: Bman

University of North Dakota Has A New Logo…

You may be familiar with the story. The NCAA forced the university to change the Fighting Sioux nickname because it was deemed “hostile and abusive” by a person or two. They are now called the Fighting Hawks. Logo brought to you by today’s SJW.

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Dad Is Rad! Happy Fathers Day!

Of course, I can’t forget to post one of my favorite movie clips ever. I remember the countless times when my Dad and I, after he would get home from work, would be in the back yard playing catch and having him hit me grounders to field. “Make it so I have to dive for them dad!” I would say enthusiastically. It was a simple way that we spent time together, but very memorable. He enjoyed it as much as I did.

Thanks for the grounders, Dad! Happy Father’s Day!

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Happy Ghostbusters Day

ghostbusters

On this day in 1984, the blockbuster Ghostbusters was released. Thanks Pete, Ray, and Egon.

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Radioactive

I was at the carwash yesterday while this song came on. I never heard it before, but I liked it. I couldn’t help but think of Trump and his Trumpkin culists. Not sure if the lyrics would be from a Trumpkin or from a #Nevertrump person. Perhaps they could be from both. Anywho, enjoy the song.

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Will The DOJ Find NoDak In Violation Of ’64 Civil Rights Act?

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The all important “Public Bathroom Use Laws” in Title VII, Section Z, Subsection (zz)223.789A-22B.9, may be in violation.

Samantha Bergh says, “Right before Garth Brooks was to start we went to the bathroom. The women’s line was a good 100 people long. It was insanely long and there was no wait for the men’s so I just went into the men’s.”

Samantha says there was a security guard and a Fargo Police Officer waiting to escort them out of the venue.

The FargoDome General Manager was unaware of this incident but says when a women uses the men’s bathroom she would usually just get a warning unless the conversation escalated.

“I hadn’t even been drinking. I wasn’t drunken belligerent, rude or anything like that.”

She probably could’ve talked her way out of being thrown out of the concert. I’m thinking a two word sentence would’ve done it. Anyone care to take a stab at it?

More.

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Primitive Technology

This guy is a modern day Tarzan. The nice thing about his videos is that he doesn’t have music playing, no talking, just demonstrates by doing. Not a sliver of modern day technology is being used, except for the camera to record. This guy will probably be the last man alive on earth after the apocalypse. This is quite impressive.

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70 Years Ago Today: The Battle of Alcatraz

Of course, this was before Clint Eastwood broke out in 1979.

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Presidential Campaign Announcement

bmansmall

Greetings!

As you know, some here have endorsed Libertarian candidate Gary “Small Johnson” Johnson for President.

Here is what you need to know about Mr. Smalls:

Abortion: Gary “Small Johnson” Johnson is a staunch supporter of women’s “health care”. He believes that abortion rights are the law of the land and should remain to be. This guy loves abortion. If he was able, he would have one himself just for shits and giggles. Oh, but he did vote against late term abortions I guess. Abortion is abortion Mr. Small Johnson.

Immigration: Well, this sucka believes in a robust work force from foreign countries. As long as they don’t murder people, they are welcome here! “Make immigration easier!” is the cry from this peckerless fool.

Climate Change: Yep. This guy believes in it, and pretty much believes humans are to blame. Ok, he did say that the important question about climate change is whether the government’s efforts to regulate, tax and manipulate the marketplace in order to impact that change are cost-effective — or effective at all. That doesn’t mean jack shit! More politician speak.

Second Amendment: This guy is quite whishy-washy on this issue. He never comes out and says he supports the 2A…AND 2B. He did say that he believes responsible adults, (notice he didn’t say law abiding), should be able to arm themselves….but he never says with what! Arm themselves with potato(e) peelers? Rocks? Chopsticks? Your guess is good as mine. He never once mentions the 2A….or 2B.

Well, there you have it. I can go on and on if I wanted to, but I have a thing.

Later Taters.

Presidentially Yours,
Bman

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Happy Earth Day

Celebrate with Lenin and a unicorn. Have a good’un.

lenin

Unicorn realistic

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Presidential Campaign Announcement

bmansmall

Greetings!

As you know, I am running for President of the United States of America. I apologize for not posting more often, but the campaign trail has been a fairly busy road. Very busy. Really, really busy. I’ve been more busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest. And that’s busy. With a man that has at least one leg, I can tell you from experience on how busy that is. Really busy.

As many of you know, I have made a promise not to except any monetary contributions to my campaign. Not one. This is all self funded. No donations from any corporation, private or public sector unions, farmers guild, Shrimp Boat Capt’n guild, Lollipop Guild, or from NAMBLA. It is all self funded. Not one penny comes from anyone. Not one red cent. It’s all self funded. I have personally put in over one’s and one’s of dollars to fund this campaign. I think it’s important for you to know that. I won’t ask ANYBODY for a dime. I work two jobs which means I work at least 25 hours a week. I don’t get overtime as many of you don’t, so I don’t expect you to finance my campaign. I believe you should keep as much money as possible so that government can decide what to do with it. I will finance my campaign myself because I believe we can make Great America again!

Having said all of that, I do have a possible solution to the gender pay gap. As you are all aware, men make at least 22% more in wages than women. 97% economists agree to that. It’s proven economical science, folks. It isn’t right. Not by a long chalk. I have a plan that can turn this around and make it more fair; men will need to pay 22% more in taxes than women. We all want equality don’t we? This will ensure equality, I can tell you that right now. Yes, perhaps women may see a 22% decrease in the value of their birthday/Christmas/Valentimes Day/Anniversary/Groundhogs Day gifts, I understand that. But think of the bright side! Equality!!

I don’t support the $15 an hour minimum wage. Nor Sir! All of the politicians see a need for this wage. I say it’s rubbish. Unacceptable really. I really believe that. That’s something that Barney Sanderson believes in. I surely don’t. I DO support a $16 an hour wage however. That dollar increase is like being able to purchase a 7-pack of PBR a day! That increases the standard of living for everyone! As long as you have two jobs that is….

Well that’s it for now. My next article I will discuss Bigfoot and the government conspiracy to hide it.

Later Taters.

Presidentially Yours,
Bman
2016 Presidential Candidate
“This One’s Got The Touch”
Supporter of 2A and 2B

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Happy National Beer Day!

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I don’t always drink Pabst, but when I do, I prefer it.

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Kasich’s Hand

It is no secret to longtime readers here, that I like to occasionally dabble in enjoying the cool refreshment known as Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. Since I have the day off tomorrow, I figured that I would satisfy my taste buds and stop at Biff’s Beer and Beef Stick Emporium Bottle Shop on my way home from work, so that I may purchase a 7-pack of PBR to calm my said over zealous buds. I chose bottles this evening, for I felt like playing a quick Texas Hold ’em poker game against Pabst Brewing Co.

The rules of Texas Hold ’em is pretty simple; you are dealt two cards, (as shown at the bottom of the picture above). Then, the players play off of the community draw, (Shown above my two “cards”), to form the best 5 cards that you can create. Straights, pairs, flushes, full….you know what? If you don’t know how to play cards, go back to baking cup cakes, Sweet Pea.

Now, If you were in a garage playing with two other players who had a shit load of chips, and you only had a hand full, and this was the last hand of the night, and after this game, a chip total would be counted and highest chip holder was named the winner, would you bother to stay in? Mind you, even if you went all in and won, your chip total still wouldn’t beat either player. Not by a long shot.

I stick by my theory.

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American Fotoplayer

This is one strange instrument. I saw this over at Iotwreprort.com. I never knew it existed. It was primarily used for the music and sounds for silent movies back when Ray Davies was a teen. I’m pretty sure it was also used for Merry Melodies and Warner Bros. cartoons back in the day as well. It really is quite fascinating. This is truly worth your time.

First, the tutorial.

Click here to see it in action. You wont be disappointed. More below the fold…

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Nigg Beats Man From Subway

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Convicted pedophile and former Subway pitchman Jared Fogle was attacked on the yard at the Colorado prison where he’s serving a 15-year sentence.

The Indiana sex offender was left bloodied and bruised when fellow inmate Steven Nigg, 60, pushed him to the ground and threw multiple punches into his face at Englewood prison.

Nigg, who is serving time for a fire gun conviction tied to a series of robberies, walked away unharmed, while Fogle was left with a bloody nose, swollen face and scratches on his neck.

Looks like the pedophile is getting more than just foot-longs in prison. By the way, can someone explain to me what a “fire gun” is? It sounds like a lot of fun. I want one.

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Presidential Campaign Announcement

bman

Greetings!

Allow myself to introduce….myself. My name is Bman and I am running for President of the United States of America. I have been a member of this blog for quite sometime as the Camp Director of the Real Revo Outpost- Frozen Tundra District. I know what it takes to be tough because you have to be tough to live in the frozen tundra, I can tell you that right now. It can get pretty cold here, so you have to be tough, and I’m tough. No one, and I mean no one who is running for president is as tough as me. No one. Not a soul. I mean, it get’s so cold here, that one time I was taking a leak in my backyard, nothing came out but yellow ice sickles. I shit you not. It takes a tough guy to become president, and I’m that tough.

This letter is to inform you of the many, many, very, very, good qualities and experiences I have to make a very, very good President of America. A lot better president than the other people running, except maybe Tom Cruz from Texas. It’s pretty cool that an actor is running for president. I just found out he was running a few days ago and was blown away by it, because I really liked the movie An Officer and a Gentleman, where he plays a lawyer and really reams Jack Nicholas in the courtroom scene. “You can’t handle the truth!” Loved that part. Good movie. Really, really good movie, but I will tell you this right now, I think you deserve to know the truth and the truth is what I will give you. I think you can handle the truth. The other candidates won’t tell you the truth because they, like Jack Nicholas, don’t think you can handle it, so they just lie. They lie about everything. I learned my lesson long ago about lying when my mom broke my Fat Albert paddleball game across my ass for lying. It hurt so bad, that I never told another lie. The kids in the neighborhood when I was growing up referred to me as George Washington, Jr. “He never tells a lie!”, they always said. So I got that going for me.

I’m also very tough on the important issues. Gun rights anyone? You better believe it! I fully support the 2A AND the 2B. How many candidates can say they support both? Most of them probably don’t know what they are. But I do, and I support them. As an avid duck hunter, I know the importance of gun rights. There is nothing better than slinking through the tall grass on your belly, through the mud, sneaking up on ducks. When I pick one out, and get it in the crosshairs of my scope, BAM!! It’s deader than disco. I’ve bagged lots and lots of ducks. And don’t worry, I got me a huntin’ license, haha. Poaching is bad. Poaching is very, very bad.

As you know, some of the candidates support PP and I do as well. I believe everyone should as a matter of fact. Proper Preparation is so very, very important. It’s so important, that I’ve added more “P’s” to it. PPPPPP is my credo. That means Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance. I believe in that. But I’m the only candidate who doesn’t just support the two P’s, I support all 6 P’s. no one else can say that. Oh, and by the way before I forget, I’m also Pro-life, just incase you were wondering.

I also believe in religion. Religion is a great thing. It really, really is. I believe all religion should be welcomed and be free. If you read the 1st Amendment, you will see our founding fathers wrote about free religion. Believe me, it’s in there. I read the Constitution tens of times and nobody, and I mean nobody knows it better than me. Inside and out. Religion was meant to be free of charge. Could you imagine charging someone to sit in church? Not on my watch, Bub. I’m a Christian, and no one is a bigger fan of the Christian faith and rock than I am. No one. That one song by the band Kansas is one of my favorite songs. I will say, and I don’t mean to honk my own horn, that I actually improved the religion at my church. Wanna know how? I never did like the taste of the little crackers that they hand out during communion. I always thought that Jesus tasted a little bland. I mean it’s JESUS for his sakes! Don’t you think the great and all powerful Christ would taste better? I do. I really, really do. So I talked the preacher man into putting a little dab of cheese wiz on the cracker. And guess what happened? More people were choosing to eat Jesus at church more than anytime in the past. I’m a man who can get things done. And I also want to turn this country back to God. I believe we need to get back to our national motto of God Bless Us, Everyone.

I have a plan to eliminate the high cost of health care and insurance costs. This plan is so much better than Obamacare which I call Obama-scare, (ha ha). My plan, which I will not go into detail, will really, really, transform the health care industry. It really will. The average family of one will pay a lot less than they do today, I can tell you that right now. My plan is perfect. You just have to trust me on this one. Once I’m elected, you will see what this plan will do, and you are going to love it. I will just give you one little hint: helmets.

And hey! Did you know I was named after Sir Elton John? True story. Just thought I would throw that little tidbit in there for ya’s.

Some people are claiming that they want to make America great again. I say, we should make Great America again. I mean, have you ever been to a Great America amusement park? I went to one back in 1982 in the San Francisco area. It kicked-ass. They had a double decker carrousel. Building more Great Americas would create jobs! Thousands and thousands of decent minimum wage jobs. A Great America on every corner is going to happen when I’m elected, I can promise you that. And I will make Euro Disney pay for it!

The November elections are only a short time away. I think it’s the 8th or 9th if I’m not mistaken. The time for your support is now! The time to support a champion, your champion, is now! I know I’m a longshot, but one of my favorite movies is Rocky and Rocky II. That guy came out of the woodwork and beat the heavyweight champion of the world, and with your help, we can take Apollo Creed down again! You all remember Alvin Greene? He was an eyelash away from being senator in South Carolina. It can be done, folks. It can be done. And at the end of the day, people won’t be saying to me, “Who are you?”, for they will know that I’m Bman, the 45th President of the United States of America!

God Bless Us, Everyone!

Presidentially yours,

Bman

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RIP Sonny James

He was 87.

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A Ray Of Hope

I don’t need to say anymore. I will say that the person wearing this shirt was a 24 year old Millennial, who doesn’t give a rip about other people’s “safe zones.” With all the flak we sometimes give the 20-something aged crowd on this blog, sometimes you stumble upon one occasionally who gives you a ray of hope for our country. There are future Revoistas out there.

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This young man was at the bar last night while I was working. Now that I think of it, the birth of our nation ultimately started with the talks and conversations of like minded individuals who routinely met in pubs, taverns and bars. Perhaps our nation can also be saved in such establishments. I encourage all of our readers to get to your local bar, order a Pabst Blue Ribbon, and drum up a conversation with a stranger, preferably a Millennial. You may end up being surprised what they say. They aren’t all like pajama boy….

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Bernie Sanders Fails To Gain Coveted NORK Endorsement

InsideNorthKorea11
DPRK News Service

@DPRK_News U.S. Senator Bernard Sanders dismissed as witless oaf peddling false socialism to degenerate blockheads.

He’s toast.

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Hillary Wins By Coin Toss

Heads I win lose, tails you lose.

That’s what democracy looks like.

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The tRUMP Cult

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I have no words for this. It’s no different than the cult following that Herr Obama had back in ’08. This poster scares the shit out of me. It reminds me of those pamphlets that the Jehovah Witness’ leave on your doorstep, portraying graphic images of sinners being cast in a lake of fire for being non-believers. In this poster, we see lost souls enthusiastically following a false prophet which will ultimately lead to their doom.

I don’t think it’s a parody.

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Jack In The Box

jack in the box

We need another flood.

A sex toy company created a tiny male masturbation fort in New York City. No, we don’t condone it.

On Tuesday, Hot Octopuss erected what it called a “GuyFi” booth on 28th Street and 5th Avenue in New York City, where men could, in theory, go to “relieve stress.”

The company simply put a cloth over a phone booth in what amounted to a marketing gimmick. Inside was a chair and a laptop.

Hot Octopuss was inspired by a Time Out survey, which concluded that 39% of the New York men it questioned admitted to masturbating while at work. A more expansive Glamour survey of 1,000 men in 2012 suggested 31% of its readers have done so.

Hot Octopuss created the booth so men can “take this habit out of the office and into a more suitable environment designed to give the busy Manhattan man the privacy, and the high-speed Internet connection, he deserves.”

“We may be insinuating that these booths could be used in whichever way anyone would like to ‘self soothe,'” a representative tells Mashable, “but the brand is not actively encouraging people to masturbate in public as that is an illegal offense.”

The company claims approximately 100 men used the booth on its inaugural day.

New York values…

Don’t bother

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Merry New Year’s Eve!!

Party like its 1967!
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Three Letters From Teddy

troubled-kid

This is a story about more than kindness; it is about the essence and the power that compassion offers all humanity.

Teddy’s letter came today, and now that I’ve read it, I will place it in my cedar chest with the other things that are important in my life. “I wanted you to be the first to know.” I smiled as I read the words he had written and my heart swelled with a pride that I had no right to feel.

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Happy Thanksgiving: 1987

I saw this movie back in 1987 with my older brother; “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.” It was just he and I. No parents. We went together on Thanksgiving Day. It was the first time that I can recall that we stopped being typical bickering brothers, and actually started forming a relationship….a friendship. I was 14. He was 18 and just out of high school. We drove to the matinee’ in his “Lead Sled”, which was a 1964 Chevy Impala, (he still has it to this day, and boy does it still look like shit….but I would honestly be saddened if he no longer had it). I thought it was a cool ride, especially when mom and dad weren’t in the car with us. I could say the “S” word as much as I wanted.

This movie was a bonding experience for my brother and I, at least in my eyes. As trivial that day may have been to my brother, it was a day I will always remember. It was a good day, and I give Thanks for it. I could go on in detail, but I want to keep that memory just for me. It only seems like 28 years ago….

Happy Thanksgiving Big Brother!

It’s this scene that gets me every time.

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Thirty Years Ago This Month…

…the gayest thing in professional sports happened.

This pretty much sums up the 80’s.

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