How to be Julia


“You know what sucks? Cable television. Why do I have to buy 140 channels I don’t watch in order to get 10 channels I want? I mean, I pay like $75 per month for those 150 channels. That is 50 cents each. Why can’t I just get my ten channels for $5? ”

“After all, that’s all I want: ESPN, Fox News, Blaze TV, TBS (Cubs), A&E (Walking Dead and Duck Dynasty)… you get the idea. I don’t want to pay for all those channels that I don’t watch. I mean, who the hell watches shopping networks? Why am I paying 50 cents each for six shopping channels? I hate that.”

“Those do-nothings in Congress should do something. They ought to pass a law that forces the cable companies to let me buy my channels a la carte. The fat cats at the cable company are screwing me and I don’t want to take it anymore. What they need is a dose of heavy handed regulation, that’s what they need! There ought to be a law!”

If the above sounds reasonable to you, welcome to Team Obama. You are Julia.

Look, cable television isn’t necessary for life. You have alternatives in free off air channels, streaming media, DVDs or, I dunno, reading a book. If a minor first-world-problem like how you purchase cable results in you immediately starting to think about acts of Congress, you really aren’t the libertarian sort. In fact, you are Julia and this guy is ready to take care of you and help remove all the tiny annoyances from your life.

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5 Responses to How to be Julia

  1. Bman says:

    Well hell. I agree with the above. I hate having to pay “x” for channels I dont want. The only difference is I sure as shit don’t believe there ought to be a law about it. From my home TV, I can add or drop any movie channel at anytime I want. Of course, if I add a channel, I pay. If I drop one, I pay less. If I don’t want WE, OWN, Lifetime, Hallmark, Disney, MTV, etc, wouldn’t it be nice to drop them as well, and see the difference on my bill?

  2. R.D. Walker says:

    The problem with the reasoning I laid out above is that the channels aren’t fifty cents per.

    Cable companies pay, like $8 per sub for ESPN and, in order to get ESPN, they have to take the whole suite and put them in a certain place in the line-up. Same with some of the others. On the other hand, they get a lot of channels free. Shopping channels pay to be on your cable network.

    So here is the deal, the ten channels you like would still probably cost $60. Everything good costs more. Shit nobody wants is cheap. Cable companies are basically throwing in a bunch of stuff you don’t watch for free or next to nothing.

    The bottom line is that, unless you want to watch shopping networks and religion channels, your a la carte options will probably cost you 90% as much as just getting the whole damned line up.

    Not that any of this matters. The point of the post is that this is a minor annoyance and it sure as hell doesn’t require management by the Leviathan.

  3. Rockheim says:

    Which is precisely why we cut the cord over 2 years ago. We voted our self interests with our wallet. And we couldn’t be happier.

    What you’ll find out is that you don’t actually watch 6 channels. You watch 6 shows that are carried by those channels. And all the rest you watch.. is just consumption for the sake of consuming.

    When I was told my old job had an expiration date I got a new one. It requires weekly travel to MI and I’m rocking the hotel room. I thought that this would be a chance to catch up on some TV. I had actually convinced my self that even though we cut the cord I was missing out.

    It took exactly one night to remember how much I hated cable television, the inane and useless programming that makes up the vast majority of it. And the endless stream of brain numbing commercials.
    And I suffered through the rest of the week until I could order another Boxee box, move a large selection of our movies and tv series to a portable drive and pack it with me. Boxee… Netflix.. TedTV.. and Amazon are all I need…

  4. reboot says:

    I get the basic cable package and nothing else. All I want are on it, and I watch about 10 out of the 60 channels and NONE of them the lamestream media or the gay agenda crowd.

  5. Pumpkin says:

    The entire notion that such small and trivial things are even registered on a federal government level is asinine. It shows just how pathetic the vast majority of the American populace has become. Worse though, is that while issues like this are being pushed by moonbats everywhere, basic first amendment rights (like the right to freely express oneself on a blog…) are being challenged. Sickening…

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