Why America is so Frgile lesson #1,874

jedi-academy

Did you know that you can actually take “light saber” classes?  You know, to become a real Jedi?  New York Jedi promises “the best light saber choreo classes anywhere”.  Only $10!

Important note: They “discourage use of toy sabers (extendable/soft plastic or sequentially-lighting blades) during practice.  Additional equipment (ex: knee pads) is optional.”

Where to begin…..Let’s see for starters they are ALL FUCKING TOYS.  There is no such thing as a “real” light sabre.  Furthermore, none of them have “blades”.  They are fucking plastic tubes that light up.  If they had actual blades I would imagine the New York Jedi Academy would be horror shop of disemboweled and amputated poorly-adjusted adult age children who, for some unknown reason, think Star Wars is real.

And I have no idea why anyone would need knee-pads for “Light Sabre Choreo”.  On second thought, I think I know why….

Bonus Round: The Empire Lucas Films is suing the shit out of these adult-sized children for copy right infringement.  Welcome to the real world, Padawan.

padawan

This Padawan enjoys Light Sabre Choreo in the hopes of picking up a real live female who can share is delusion in the comfort of his mother’s basement.
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6 Responses to Why America is so Frgile lesson #1,874

  1. C. L. says:

    Real, Star Wars is not? A killjoy, you are. Running for president, a Sith Lord is.

  2. Uke says:

    Why in the everliving hells would someone take this over something that has at least some practicality and realism attached to it, such as kendo?

    I simply cannot fathom what sort of individual says, “I want to learn how to fight with a sword-like object. But not an actual sword in realistic scenarios. That would just be weird.”

  3. Son of the Rabbit People says:

    I have to correct you on one point. If the light sabres were real, they would be illegal to even own in NYC. If these people insist on using their spare time and cash to enjoy themselves and have a little fun, NYC will probably make them illegal anyway, because I’m sure it will not mesh well with hardcore leftist ideology; having fun pretending to kill and maim imagined foes for example.

  4. DocO says:

    The play-fighting aspect of this doesn’t bother me at all.

    Hell, I used to take ballroom dancing classes. In my defense it was to meet women, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it.

    What actually bothers me here is that adult-children like this have created an actual religion.

    https://www.templeofthejediorder.org/

    From their website.

    “The Jedi here are real people that live or lived their lives according to the principles of Jediism, the real Jedi religion or philosophy. Jedi followers, ministers and leaders embrace Jediism as a real living, breathing religion and sincerely believe in its teachings. Jediism does not base its focus on myth and fiction but on the real life issues and philosophies that are at the source of myth. Whether you want to become a Jedi, are a real Jedi looking for additional training or just interested in learning about and dissussing The Force, we’re here for you”.

  5. sortawitte says:

    It’s the tragedy of Buzz Lightyear all over again.

    Wait, RD……..You mean he’s not real in a not real movie?

    Oh, the humanity.

  6. A.B. Prosper says:

    I think the stigma is because this is driven by pop culture but the people into do understand that and so long as the people who claim Jedi don’t claim supernatural powers they can’t prove or don’t have I can’t complain about it

    All religions have to start somewhere so why not one from that now? Whatever works.

    As for the lightsaber combat, its not much less practical than some forms of Tai Chi or Wushu . Its fun and its exercise. why not? I suspect some of the techniques transfer over well enough to a real weapon and probably better than some of the sillier martial arts weapons

    Still terms like Jedi and likely the names of the stuff they are teaching are Lucasfilm IP and making money at it was courting a lawsuit .

    Lucasfilm is pretty cool about stuff but they have their limits

    And in case you ask , I’m pretty nerdy and still play D&D occasionally but as the late great Freddy mercury once sung “Jaws was never my scene and I don’t like Star Wars”

    I wouldn’t be caught anywhere near thhis kind ot thing do actual martial arts and study real languages not Klingon or Elven

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