the AlGore IS the answer

Despite all RD’s homework and brilliant analysis I’ve come to a realization: climate change is REAL.  Man, well at least one man can affect it to an enormous degree. All that egghead fancy schmancy science be damned. It’s time for a little Occam’s razor simplicity, no?  Hard to believe a dumb ‘ol truck driver had to straighten this out for everybody but here goes. As evidence I submit the following.

  •  Australia, November 2006: Al Gore is visiting two weeks before summer begins. “Ski resort operators gazed at the snow in amazement. Parents took children out of school and headed for the mountains. Cricketers scurried amid bullets of hail as Melburnians traded lunchtime tales of the incredible cold.”
  •  New York, March 2004: “Gore chose January 15, 2004, one of the coldest days in New York City’s history, to rail against the Bush administration and global warming skeptics… Global warming, Gore told a startled audience, is causing record cold temperatures.”
  •  In March 2007, a snowstorm led to the cancellation of a Capitol Hill media briefing on a Senate climate bill. – October 22, 2007 Gore’s global warming speech at Harvard University coincided with near 125-year record-breaking low temperatures. Less than a week later, on October 28, the British House of Commons held a marathon debate on global warming during London’s first October snowfall since 1922.
  •  Dec 2009 Again horrendous cold and snow wallop the Copenhagen conference

Yes, there are dozens more examples but need I go on? The ominous pattern is clear, no, obvious!  Al Gore, aka Manbearpig, is proof that the climate change effect is real, documented, and predictable. Simply follow his itinerary and we can predict the outcome. It would appear that all our efforts to debate this point have been a waste of time. So knowing that, what to do? I say we cage the bastard up and only let him out when we need his special powers, say 100 degree days in NY in August or during a light snow season in Aspen, you get the idea. The only question that remains is really how and where did he get these supernatural powers over weather? Logic and science lead us to only two conclusions: 1, referencing RD’s climate record from earlir and the wild temperature swings, Al Gore is a time travelling alien Sno-bot transformer from a planet of superintelligent snowmen intent on terraforming our planet for their eventual return and domination or, since that’s a little far-fetched, 2; The Year Without a Santa Clause was actually a documentary at least partially based on Al’s epic battles with another super-nemesis, Mr Heatmeiser. I leave you with the evidence here…notice the uncanny resemblance?  This can’t be coincidence 

Science….bah!


10 Responses
  1. R.D. Walker :

    Date: December 17, 2009

    Gore is going to test your theory Locke.

    Former US vice president and environmental activist Al Gore called Tuesday for world leaders to meet in Mexico City in July to complete a climate treaty under negotiation in Copenhagen.

    Gore told a standing-room audience in the Danish capital that a summit in Mexico City previously scheduled near the end of next year was too late and too close to mid-term US elections.

    “I do not believe that we can wait until next November or next December,” said Gore, a Nobel peace prize winner for his work on raising awareness of climate change.

    Mexico City in July? I predict snow.

  2. Locke n Load :

    Date: December 17, 2009

    thats heatmeisers turf, this could get ugly

  3. notamobster :

    Date: December 17, 2009

    Brilliant deductive reasoning Locke. I would like to offer a 3rd option for your consideration:

    Maybe God is showing the world, in his mysterious way, that Al Gore is a shitbird!

    Man creates the “unsinkable” Titanic and she sinks.

    Superman breaks his neck on a horse.

    Al Gore screams ‘it’s getting hot in here’ and it freezes everywhere he goes.

  4. R.D. Walker :

    Date: December 17, 2009

    Al Gore is a poet and we didn’t even know it!

  5. RUDE JUDE :

    Date: December 17, 2009

    Swoon! Gag! Upchuck!!

  6. notamobster :

    Date: December 17, 2009

    “Oh…hm…I’m so glad to hear it in your voice – oh ye who is annointed – lead us from our filthy and debaucherous ways, manbearpig!”

  7. Locke n Load :

    Date: December 17, 2009

    bwahahaha!!! i still say we may need to alert the Superfriends…

  8. AW Mens :

    Date: December 17, 2009

    I’d like to hear William Shatner read that poem on Conan.

  9. Bman :

    Date: December 17, 2009

    “….US Senate to set a deadline of April 22, 2010 — the 40th anniversary of Earth Day — for final action on the US legislation,” Gore said.”
    ———————————–
    Ah yes. Glorious Earth Day! The athiests “Christmas”. Also, founded by Ira Einhorn, A.K.A the Unicorn Killer/ a flamming communist / piece of shit/ etc…

    A fitting date for Gore and his asshole followers

  10. R.D. Walker :

    Date: December 17, 2009

    Get this!

    World leaders flying into Copenhagen today to discuss a solution to global warming will first face freezing weather as a blizzard dumped 10 centimeters (4 inches) of snow on the Danish capital overnight.

    “Temperatures will stay low at least the next three days,” Henning Gisseloe, an official at Denmark’s Meteorological Institute, said today by telephone, forecasting more snow in coming days. “There’s a good chance of a white Christmas.”

    Delegates from 193 countries have been in Copenhagen since Dec. 7 to discuss how to fund global greenhouse gas emission cuts. U.S. President Barack Obama will arrive before the summit is scheduled to end tomorrow.

    Denmark has a maritime climate and milder winters than its Scandinavian neighbors. It hasn’t had a white Christmas for 14 years, under the DMI’s definition, and only had seven last century. Temperatures today fell as low as minus 4 Celsius (25 Fahrenheit).

    DMI defines a white Christmas as 90 percent of the country being covered by at least 2 centimeters of snow on the afternoon of Dec. 24.

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