An E-Mail Never Gets Pissed Off and Shoots You.

This is simply hysterical.

It’s the USPS new ad campaigns.  I can’t do it justice, but is smacks of one of my favorite movies, “Crazy People.”

The main gist of the USPS add is, apparently, that snail mail is “safer” than email with their new “What’s in the Mail?” campaign.

First, I have almost every invoice or bill I receive sent to me electronically, meaning all I get in the mail is solicitations for a bunch of crap I don’t want.  And Birthday invitations for my kids.  Everything else is C-R-A-P.

But the idea that regular mails is safer is just really a sad, sad commentary on a sun-setting industry.  “Safer” is the best they can come up with?  Safer only assuming someone isn’t delivering a ‘suspicious white powder‘ in your mail, or putting explosives in your inbox , or that they guy delivering it isn’t bat-shit crazy.  They call it “going postal” for a reason, which ain’t exactly consistent with the new “safer” theme they’re running with now…

This is the buggy-whip manufacturer claiming that horses don’t get flat tires.  But unlike a horse, you can change a tire; you have to shoot the horse.

So, Revoistas, in the vein of Crazy People, what should the new USPS Ad campaign look like? Or, perhaps, what should the counter-ad be for the email industry?   Here are a couple of ideas to get the ball rolling:

USPS: For people who are too damn lazy to go out of the house to get their Sittin’-at-Home checks.

USPS: Our union contract says we’re required to deliver all the shit you don’t want.

USPS: Your dog said he misses us.

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8 Responses to An E-Mail Never Gets Pissed Off and Shoots You.

  1. R.D. Walker says:

    In terms of bulk, at least 95% of what is placed in my mailbox goes straight into the trash without being opened. I don’t think this is what the had in mind when they put the mail in the Constitution.

  2. Bman says:

    USPS: Our spam mail rarely causes viruses.

  3. jacksonsdad says:

    USPS: It’s a felony for someone to fu** with your mail.

    You’re welcome.

  4. notamobster says:

    I vote for RD’s ad…

    that is all.

  5. Kenneth says:

    Except she doesn’t seem to be wearing the USPS badge… She must be part of a private company. I will help their business grow since they’re doing the same for me 😀

  6. sif94 says:

    USPS: When it absolutely, positively annoys the living hell out of you to pull this crap out of your mailbox.

  7. notamobster says:

    USPS: When it absolutely, positively, has to be delivered by some time next week.