Warning! Global Warming Could Kill 4.5 Billion People By 2012!

Beware! Billions of people are in imminent danger of being stalked, hunted, and killed by Al Gore’s Global Warming. If you or anyone you know is not currently dead, you are in imminent danger of becoming so. It’s probably too late already, as we are at least four days past the killer deadline. Don’t believe me? It says so right here:

“Over 4.5 billion people could die from Global Warming related causes by 2012, as planet Earth accelarates into a greed-driven horrific catastrophe.”

Despite what you may be thinking, the real cause of this massive catastrophe is not the chronic misspelling of ‘accelerates’ but a simple gas called methane that is released by all the melting ice and bacteria and other scientific-sounding words. We have no one to blame but ourselves. We were warned in this 2007 posting at The Canadian (which is an odd title since I always thought there was more than one – go figure).

So, be warned! Global Warming is out there, waiting to get you!

“Runaway Global Warming promises to literally burn-up agricultural areas into dust worldwide by 2012, causing global famine, anarchy, diseases, and war on a global scale as military powers including the U.S., Russia, and China, fight for control of the Earth’s remaining resources.”

If only we’d listened. Why didn’t we listen? Why?!

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5 Responses to Warning! Global Warming Could Kill 4.5 Billion People By 2012!

  1. Bman says:

    Pffft! How do we even know that we are living in the ideal climate now? I would rather take global warming than an ice age anytime, I can tell you that right now.

  2. R.D. Walker says:

    And I saw upon the horizon yet a fifth horseman. His hair was flame and he carried a staff of whirlwind and whatever he touched became dust. I trembled in fear in the face of thundering hooves of Global Warming until… I took my medication. Now I feel better and – cool – Family Guy is on!

  3. notamobster says:

    Why didn’t we listen?

    Because we’re not as smart as Al Gore. If we were, we would have hitched our wagon to this gravy train, years ago!

  4. Air Force Brat says:

    Methane released by melting ice? Poppycock. Everyone knows methane comes from farting cows.

  5. Uke says:

    And I saw upon the horizon yet a fifth horseman. His hair was flame and he carried a staff of whirlwind and whatever he touched became dust. I trembled in fear in the face of thundering hooves of Global Warming until… I took my medication. Now I feel better and – cool – Family Guy is on!

    :D

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