St Paul – Saving The World From Tobacco Themed Confections

Don’t you St Paulians feel safer, knowing that your government is wasting your money on this petty male bovine excrement? At least the bureaucrat didn’t give them the $500 fine.

A back-in-the-day soda shop in St. Paul has been busted for selling cigarettes — made of candy.

Lynden’s, on Hamline Avenue near Cretin-Derham Hall High School, said a city inspections official came in last week and gave the shop a warning and added that a misdemeanor citation — with a $500 fine — would be next if the non-carcinogenic confections continue to be sold.

“We got busted [Dec. 19] by the City of St. Paul. Oops,” the shop tweeted.

Candy cigarettes, bubble gum cigars and bubble gum made to look like chewing tobacco have been among a host of vintage sugary treats that Lynden’s has kept in stock since it opened in April.

“We had no idea,” Tobi Lynden said Wednesday, lamenting that she can no longer sell the white candy sticks with the red tips, her best-selling candy. “We don’t want to get on the bad side of St. Paul.”

Lynden said nearly all of the candy cigarette purchases were made by adults.

” ‘Oh, I had these when I was little,’ ” she said she would often hear. “We weren’t trying to promote smoking or tobacco use of any kind.”

And just what would prompt a bureaucrat to ferret out such nefarious activity?

“Somebody from Bloomington called and reported us,” Lynden said. “The whole thing is pretty weird.”

Robert Humphrey, spokesman for the city’s Safety and Inspections Department, said the complaint came to his agency Dec. 13. An inspector visited Lynden’s on Dec. 19 and had the forbidden products immediately removed from the sales floor.

A unanimous City Council outlawed candy smokes and cartoon character lighters in April 2009. The council cited a study showing that these products encouraged youngsters to take up smoking tobacco.

Lynden’s Facebook page has collected dozens of comments decrying the enforcement action and the rationale behind it.

“I just got through a bag of gummy bears,” one person wrote. ” Now I can’t stop thinking about where to find a REAL bear to eat!”

Let this be a good warning to all of you who would thwart the law or thumb your nose at seemingly inconsequential regulation. One of your neighbors will rat you out.

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9 Responses to St Paul – Saving The World From Tobacco Themed Confections

  1. RUDE JUDE says:

    OK. What’s next? Toy guns, toy swords, toy knives, military toys, candy lips so children won’t think about kissing? Why not start with the violent video games?? Or does that make a little too much sense? I remember buying that candy when I was a kid and I don’t smoke now. Remember any of those Pink Floyd “The Wall” videos? It seems to be coming around full circle to me.

    • BrunDawg says:

      Bazooka bubble gum.

      • Bman says:

        Hawaiian Punch (anti-bullying campaign)

      • notamobster says:

        Bazooka gum – Obviously the inspiration for hajjis, the world over (RPG).

        Hawaiian Punch. I would say it inspired my violent tendencies as a younger man, but we couldn’t afford it. It was Wyler’s flavored drink mix for us. Maybe that caused me to “Wyle out”. πŸ™‚

  2. Bman says:

    To help prevent obesity, they need to stop making food look like the foods that people normally eat. Stop making cheeseburgers look like cheeseburgers, or potato chips look like potato chips. When I see someone eating a cheeseburger that looks like a cheeseburger, it makes me want to eat a cheeseburger. If they just made cheeseburgers in the shape of a colorless cube type food, this may help stop people from eating too many cheeseburgers. Obesity problem solved.

  3. rj says:

    petty tyrants unleashed, bet not a one would pass a psychological exam to be a cop. Just cant wait to get in power and enforce their self promoted rules…fucking assholes like that is why I refuse to live in any town.

  4. Matt says:

    I grew up eating candy cigarettes and stuffing Big League Chew in my mouth. And you know what they inspired me to do? Eat candy.

    • R.D. Walker says:

      Yeah, I used to get candy cigarettes as a kid too. I used to always get Pall Mall looking ones because that is what my dad smoked. In my nearly 50 years of living I have smoked maybe two real cigarettes.

  5. Jim22 says:

    Reminds me of Tucson. They have a law that prohibits you from leaving a dog in a parked vehicle. It started because people were doing it in hundred=degree days and killing their pets.

    Now they have extended it to all times of the year.

    We were driving a motorhome and stopped for groceries. It was winter and 65 degrees. A self-important woman came in and demanded the store employees call the police. They refused. When we left the store she was in her car, parked next to the motorhome, talking on her cell phone.

    We ignored her and left. Some people have no common sense.