Just one more law and utopia will be ours!


We are just one banishment away from the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

A team from West Middlesex University Hospital said violent crime is on the increase – and kitchen knives are used in as many as half of all stabbings.

They argued many assaults are committed impulsively, prompted by alcohol and drugs, and a kitchen knife often makes an all too available weapon.

The researchers say legislation to ban the sale of long pointed knives would be a key step in the fight against violent crime.

“The Home Office is looking for ways to reduce knife crime.

“We suggest that banning the sale of long pointed knives is a sensible and practical measure that would have this effect.”

Seriously, Revoistas. I have jackass fatigue. I would like to make some kind of a pithy, relevant observation here but I am just exhausted. Running non-stop on a treadmill of idiocy is tiring.

Actually, we are two laws away from utopia. Once we ban these, civilization will have achieved a higher plain.


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18 Responses to Just one more law and utopia will be ours!

  1. Woodface says:

    I just… I mean… I can’t even… How do you…

  2. R.D. Walker says:

    I should have stopped reading after “British Doctors.”

    I think we should outlaw British doctors. They kill a lot more people than knives.

    • Testa Sterone says:

      And you just know that that what you say is true! And I can’t even think of a knife that isn’t “long and pointy”!!! And when reduced to nothing more than butter knives, the grindstone is going to become mighty popular just begging for another law to ban grindstones!?!?!

  3. Rockheim says:

    It’s a story from 2005.. But you know what. That doesn’t matter because the lunacy of well intentioned idiots is timeless…

  4. R.D. Walker says:

    Let’s not forget about the black bladed, military style, assault paring knife!


    • Testa Sterone says:

      Nice lookin’ knife you got there! Aren’t you afraid of all the mayhem it’s going to cause when you’re not looking???

  5. A Guy says:

    Natural Man? Nope. It is my 10″ Chef Knife that causes all the violence in the world.

  6. Rockheim says:

    I’ve got a Katana in my Golf bag.. Does that need to get banned too? And.. wait a minnit.. I do. I have a katana in my golf bag.. No wonder all the straights at the course give me the wide berth and don’t make eye contact…

  7. Rich says:

    Grindstones and knife sharpeners will become highly regulated, requiring special ATF registration costing thousands of dollars and requiring that all grindstone and knife sharpener permit holders produce all documentation as to said devices at any time, as well as being subject to warrantless searches at the whim of any law enforcement or burearcratic entity. Further, all magazines and other publications shall be required to cease producing pictures of pointy knives and grindstones and knife sharpeners. All known items with such pictures shall be confiscated and destroyed. Further, stone quarries shall … well, I think you get the idea.

  8. Uke says:

    “If only we could pass this one more little law…”

  9. BaconNeggs says:

    Rules are rules!
    The UK is ruled by a bunch of hand wringing, politically correct, socialist, limp wristed, political idiots, who have managed to brainwash the plebs that any government law, is a good thing.

    The list of British legal stupidity is long and endless. They rarely enforce perfectly good laws on the books for hundreds of years, but introduce yet another legal layer in an effort to be seen as “doing something”.

    A Britain that once ruled the waves, now wave the rules.

  10. messup says:

    Not to worry! Soon, with “Tax and Spend” the operative philosophy coming from our august body of sage savants in We The Elite People of culture of corruption in Washington DC …weapons of any stripe, size shape or form will be beyond the reach of all americans! How? one asks! Because, economically, america will have economically…collapsed.

    Need proof? How many Oakies in the 1920’s to 1940’s “Great Depression” could even afford to feed their families, let alone buy weapons (for defense or otherwise)? HUH!!!

    See, the same happened in the 1860’s! These are Ludwig Von Mises “Business Cycles!” They happen as a result of “greed, power and corruption.” Well, there are other salient factors involved, too. But these are the main culprits. So, when a collapsed american economy is the norm, no money, a huge swath of americana extremely poor, weapons are the least of their worries. So, by economics alone, a self fulfillling prophesy comes into fruition across all of america…after much “weeping and gnashing of teeth.” See, many will begin making their own weapons and ammunition…just like in the 1770’s. Pray. Amen.

  11. Bman says:

    Then it will be forks, sporks, and spoons which will be banned. Eventually, Britons will have to eat their meals with nothing but a flat stick.