All Natrual Crunch Berries–grow from seed!
June 10, 2009
Real Revo Quiz: Where geographically do Crunch Berries grow, and do they
A: grow on trees, like mulberries
B: grow on bushes, like raspberries
C: grow in a bog , like cranberries
Well, according to Janine Sugawara, she doesn’t know either, but she’s fairly certain Quaker Oats has a whole grove / patch / bog of these things somewhere.
On May 21, a judge of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased “Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries” because she believed it contained real fruit. The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, alleged that she had only recently learned to her dismay that said “berries” were in fact simply brightly-colored cereal balls, and that although the product did contain some strawberry fruit concentrate, it was not otherwise redeemed by fruit. She sued, on behalf of herself and all similarly situated consumers.
This crap drives me Bat-Shit Crazy The sheer number of people playing “Litigation Lottery” are so rampant these days, it’s a wonder I haven’t just put the barrel of a revolver in my mouth. Apparently, Sugawara feels gypped out of reaping the nutritional value of eating “real berries” for the past four years. Being the dietary expert that she is, she worries about getting all the health benefits of Omega-3 fatty acids from her McDonald’s Fish-O-Fish or lean proteins of KFC’s Chicken Poppers. And, of course, the fiber and anti-oxidant benefits of the fresh-and-never-frozen Crunch Berries.
In no great surprise, the lawyers representing Sugawara sued — in a separate case — for not having real fruit in Froot-Loops cereal. I shit you not:
Judge England also noted another federal court had “previously rejected substantially similar claims directed against the packaging of Fruit [sic] Loops cereal, and brought by these same Plaintiff attorneys.”
[Note: "Fruit Loops" is really "Froot-Loops" on the box, hence the ‘sic']
Just like the old joke, “What do you call a hundred lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?”
A: A good start.
Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice, Vanagram is putting a call into these exact lawyers to discuss my outrage in finding out there are no “real” fags in the crackers I just bought.
Roy Ryder :
Date: June 10, 2009
No doubt this Ms. Sugawara’s hit list also includes baby oil, moth balls, and skin cream.
notamobster :
Date: June 10, 2009
Don’t forget udder cream, vaginal douche, or chicken mcnuggets . . .
(no you can’t convince me that there’s chicken in those nuggets)
R.D. Walker :
Date: June 10, 2009
WTF is the deal with Grape Nuts? No grapes. No nuts. Somebody owes be some money, dammit.
Foneguy :
Date: June 10, 2009
Yes, but they make the nuggets taste great or is it less filling!
Foneguy :
Date: June 10, 2009
BTW my jumbo shrimp isn’t!!!
R.D. Walker :
Date: June 10, 2009
James :
Date: June 10, 2009
Remember the AYDS diet plan from the 70′s? I heard it was a liquid diet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfOQ3O4kD3I
Squirrel :
Date: June 11, 2009
Another example of oxygen thieves. Scary part is these dumbasses breed.
Roy Ryder :
Date: June 11, 2009
There should be a law that after a handful of frivilous lawsuits you are forcibly sterilized.
With a cannon.