You must be having a hell of a time in Dixie…

Because you are using it up faster than anywhere else in America.

I think y’all need to lay off the chicken fried pork rinds, possum belly cracklins and deep fried Snickers Bars.

Life Expectancy by County…
life expectancy

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20 Responses to You must be having a hell of a time in Dixie…

  1. R.D. Walker says:

    Hell, you are having fun! Sexually transmitted diseases.


    • Locke n Load says:

      Holy shit! Uh, yeah, see, that map absolutely verifies my experiences chasing off lot lizards. Except for southern cal, about 90% of that map is spot ON where we get the most 2am door knocks. Ick.
      Laredo, Va and Wv are a bit underrepresented tho…

      • Trent says:

        Lot lizards are a special breed of nasty.

        • Locke n Load says:

          oh, dude, unless you’ve seen ’em you can’t possibly know how true that is πŸ™‚

          • Trent says:

            Seen a few, use to ride the long hauls with a buddy in high school all across the South. My buddy use to joke about “lot lizard thirty.” That is when you been rolling hard for 20 hours straight, pull into a pit stop around 3 in the morning, and spot a lot lizard coming your way. It is similar to beer goggles, but much worse.

            • Locke n Load says:

              holy crap, you aint kidding. my faves are the crazy meth rags who just need to ‘borrow your radio’…
              One time in Miami a 300 pounder jumped onto my steps and started hollerin at me to open the door. crazy bitch was trying to work her arm in the window to unlock the door all the while rambling about a white boy needing some black lovin… it was that night I seriously started thinking about carrying a gun

    • Ray Davies says:

      Careful RD, Iowa City/Johnson Co is on that map too. And I ain’t getting any of that fun

  2. rj says:

    Ifin I knowed I wasa gonna live this long Ida took better caren of mysef… in my best hillbilly

    • Ray Davies says:

      I wuz born and raised down south and got a lotta scars aand broken bones to show for it. I really didn’t settle dooown wntil I chased a Yankey woman up here until she caught me. Now I’m afraid I’m gonna die of old age.With luck my daughter will pick a good nursing home where they’ll change my diapers and spit rag every day

  3. R.D. Walker says:


    • Locke n Load says:

      now now, correllation is not causation. or anything else for that matter.
      and soul food ROCKS.
      do NOT go screwin with deep fried pickles and our ubiquitous rib shacks

      • Locke n Load says:

        side note on the Georgian need for importance:
        there are almost the same number of counties in Georgia as Texas.
        And 10 times as many bridges, overpasses, and stretches of highway named for otherwise unkown politicians

      • R.D. Walker says:

        I only posted it because it appeared in the Google image search and it matched the others. Draw your own conclusions.

    • notamobster says:

      Look at Michigan. The green spots have cities or prisons.

    • Tony says:

      I am always astounded by the number of experts on African American relations who are constantly bashing the southeast live outside the the southeast.

  4. Trent says:

    The only way you are getting my deep fried snickers bars are out of my cold, fat, grease stained, dead (from a massive heart attack) hands. This is still ‘Merica, damn it, and if want my twice baked potatoes, Fried Dr. Pepper, spoon standing sweet tea, and every kind of breaded critter you can find, well I can do it.

    Now excuse me, writing this got my heart rate up. I am sweating something crazy and need a side of bacon beans to calm my nerves.

  5. Buzzdaddy says:

    It’s from all the Northern shtuff that the Mississippi washes down stream!

  6. jacksonsdad says:

    I’m glad RD posted that last map cuz it gets to what I thought when I first saw this post. Y’all are barkin’ up the wrong tree. The reason we die sooner down here ain’t got shit to do with what we eat… it’s because we are the only part of the Country that is truly ‘diverse’. We live with real racial tension and hatred every day… something a lot of folks in those 80+ areas have never had to deal with in an ongoing or substantial way.

    Trust me, it’ll lop a few days off your life!