Can we agree that, in general, school administers have collectively lost their fucking minds? This chap is getting suspended. You see, he violated the school’s zero tolerance policy regarding weapons. Would you like to know what the policy prohibits?
The school has a list of ‘absolutes’ that states no weapons, even if they’re imaginary.
You see, Alex Watkins was out to save the world at recess and in the process of doing so, threw an imaginary hand grenade. Yes, you read that correctly: Imaginary. But he didn’t get an imaginary suspension — he got removed from school on a weapons violation.
I remember way back when schools used to encourage imagination and imaginative play. When sticks were guns, the back yard was the African jungle and your Labrador was the fierce lion trophy you sought.
Now, you will get suspended for your stick gun, the Enviro-Nazi’s will tell you that stomping through Mother Gaia is environmentally criminal, PETA will subpoena you for stalking the dog.
And we wonder why kids are all fucked up.