School offers counseling to students traumatized by Pop Tart

A government funded counselor will be made available for children who are having psychological issues due to the sight of a Pop Tart that sort of resembled the shape of a gun.

Here is the letter.

Dear Parents and Guardians:

I am writing to let you know about an incident that occurred this morning in one of our classrooms and encourage you to discuss this matter with your child in a manner you deem most appropriate.

During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class. While no physical threats were made and no one [was] harmed, the student had to be removed from the classroom.

* * *

As you are aware, the … Code of Student Conduct and appropriate consequences related to violations of the code are clearly spelled out in the Student Handbook, which was sent home during the first week of school and can be found on our website,….

If your children express that they are troubled by today’s incident, please talk with them and help them share their feelings. Our school counselor is available to meet with any students who have the need to do so next week. In general, please remind them of the importance of making good choices.

Thank God the government has professionals trained to deal with the psychological trauma children deal with following pastry based horrors.

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3 Responses to School offers counseling to students traumatized by Pop Tart

  1. BigJimTX says:

    And the pussification continues ad nauseum…

  2. notamobster says:

    All I can do is laugh & shake my head. Any deeper thought and I run the risk of having an aneurysm.

  3. Rich says:

    And for the child who suddenly realizes that his school is run by a bunch of moronic, numnuts, asshats, without the common sense God gave a pebble and is thus terrified? No! No counseling for you!