The IRS made a surprise admission today that IRS employees not only targeted “tea party” groups applying for non-profit status for enhanced review, but that IRS employees actively hunted down and murdered many of the applicants. IRS spokesperson Robert Pilatus made the announcement in a morning briefing and emphasized that all those involved in the killings were low-level employees and that all had been disciplined for their actions.
“We provided terrible customer service when our employees kidnapped applicants and let them loose in a remote natural preserve where they were hunted down and killed by IRS employees. The IRS administration does not condone this kind of activity and it certainly did not come from any direction from our God Emperor in the White House.” Pilatus later noted that the blood of the applicants may have been offered to an image of a person who bears a remarkable likeness to President Obama, but that it was done on employee private time.
When asked about the revelation, White House Spokesman Jay Carney stated that the Obama Administration had no knowledge of the killings and that it opposed the use of murder to advance their political agenda. When asked about bloody handprints on oval office windows and ritual chanting and beating drums heard from the West Wing, Carney replied that sequestration cuts by Republicans were responsible.
CBS reporter Sharyl Attkisson attempted to ask a follow-up question but was unable to do so after a dart struck her neck and she fell over dead in the press room. CNN reporter Candy Crowley noted the death but later stated that general consensus was that the death was of natural causes.
The admission of murder for sport by the IRS has made many wonder if Obama, already struggling to implement his second term agenda, will be able to move on from this latest scandal