Off Topic

Previous Off Topic: Feb 25, 2010 – March 3, 2010

68 Responses to Off Topic

  1. R.D. Walker says:

    Here is a fresh Off Topic thread. The old thread is linked above.

  2. notamobster says:

    where do I have to go to get in on some of that?

  3. R.D. Walker says:

    I am pretty sure you have to go to Israel.

  4. R.D. Walker says:

    Based on this:

    I am going to say Russia or Ukraine.

  5. notamobster says:
  6. R.D. Walker says:

    I am the Webmaster. Try not to forget that soldier.

  7. notamobster says:

    You certainly are the Master, Sir! I could never take the pebble from your hand…

  8. R.D. Walker says:

    Okay Nota, now that I have forced you to bask in the warm glow of my awesomeness for the required amount of time, I will reveal a trick of the trade.

    Behold my minions: Tin Eye!

  9. notamobster says:

    That thing rocks! You are the Master… (grasshopper bows as show of humility) …. and here I thought you were some sort of Jedi master.

  10. notamobster says:

    That’s awesome!

  11. Locke n Load says:

    Wow, that Tin Eye is awesome.. I ran a few of the pics i’ve posted and they all post back Revo as first source. I suspect there’s more to your mastery than these little sites tho… I still haven’t ruled out the black arts 😉

  12. Jim22 says:

    A little update on our three SEALs who are charged with punching a terrorist:

    “( – About 160,000 people have signed a pair of petitions callling on top military commanders to drop the charges brought against three Navy SEALs over the alleged punching of a terroirst in Iraq.

    The petitions will be sent to Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Maj. Gen. Charles T. Cleveland, commanding general of Special Operations Command Central, who ordered the court martial, and to Admiral Gary Roughead, chief of Naval Operations.”

    I’d still like to know how it is that the military takes the word of one terrorist over thos of three heroes. The evidence is his word against theirs.

  13. notamobster says:

    I know of one “guaranteed” way to prevent these types of witch hunts…

    Dead men tell no tales. It would hinder our intelligence gathering efforts, but at least our brave men, currently in the suck, wouldn’t have to worry about how CNN is gonna respond to their actions. Damnit!!
    I hate liberals!

  14. R.D. Walker says:

    This just in from Britain.

    Extra small condoms for boys as young as 12 could soon be on our shelves.

    The Hotshot condoms are going on sale in Switzerland after research found that not enough 12 to 14-year-old boys were having protected sex.

    The condoms are likely to end up on sale in Britain, said their manufacturer Lamprecht AG.

    I don’t believe it for a second because I know the truth. The reality is that the vast majority of British men have been so compressed, enervated, extinguished and feminized by an all encompassing, suffocating mommy state that their dicks have shrunk.

  15. R.D. Walker says:

    The claims process on Obamacare.

  16. R.D. Walker says:

    Viacom is going to sue me if I post anymore Daily Show here.

    News broke yesterday that Comedy Central would no longer allow popular video site Hulu to present episodes of “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report.”

    The Hollywood Reporter asked Viacom if the network intends to go after websites or bloggers who post unauthorized clips.

    “Yes, we intend to do so,” PR rep Tony Fox told THR. “My feeling is if (websites) are making money on our copyrighted content, then that is a problem.”

    So. Once question. All of the videos on the Comedy Central site include embed code. If nobody can embed their shit, what is the purpose of including embed code?

  17. R.D. Walker says:

    Twin brothers at the Chamorro Shooting Range in Piti, Guam in 2006. (I am on the left.)

  18. BaconNeggs says:

    >>The reality is that the vast majority of British men have been so compressed, enervated, extinguished and feminized by an all encompassing, suffocating mommy state that their dicks have shrunk.<<

    Hey thats below the belt, not many people know this, but there have been university studies which show that on average the British male is "well hung" although I am not sure if they were refering to oil paintings at the time.

    Seriously though, a prominent story in the British Press this week has been that the Government will now pay for women in their 50's to get fertility pregnancy treatment.

    Apart from the moral issues of an "older woman" having a baby, this week also saw yet another push to "educate" all girls by 12 about sex education and birth control, which seems redundant as they are already pushing sex and gender education at toddlers and primary graders.

    But the thing that really struck me was the paradox, here is a country where young girls and women are encouraged by the State to abort half a million babies a year, while at the same time the State is trying to help older women in their 50's get pregnant.

    If that isnt the epitome of madness I'd like to know what is.

  19. MadBrad says:

    He shows his face. I was given stern warnings on how my camera could be used on his compound (“The heads, the heads, you’re looking at the heads. Sometimes he goes a bit too far but he’s always the first to admit it”.) and now he comes out with photos from the Orient like it’s nuttin’.

  20. R.D. Walker says:

    “If that isnt the epitome of madness I’d like to know what is.”

    Seriously. What the hell is the endgame for this madness? (On both sides of the pond.)

  21. R.D. Walker says:


  22. notamobster says:

    obviously identical twins…

    His looks like a Dragunov, but yours…. is that a FNH?(looks like the FNAR but with a shorter barrel)

  23. notamobster says:

    well, hell…. now my comment about you two being identical, doesn’t have any of the irony which I so carefully injected.

  24. R.D. Walker says:

    Brad reminds me that R.D. Walker has, shall we say, detractors and there is no sense making their job as stalkers any easier.

    By the way, it ruined my joke too. That guy and I hung out together all the time. I always introduced him as “my brother Dong.” I told people that “Our fathers are different but we don’t have the same mother.”

    The unblemished photo is in your inbox Nota.

  25. R.D. Walker says:

    I just never tire of technology. If you want to see the Chamorro Shooting Range in Piti, Guam here you go. Pan back to see where in the world you are.

    View Larger Map

  26. notamobster says:

    I just spent an hour writing an article called “Iconography and cult-hero worship”

    I lost my connection and the damned thing didn’t autosave anything but this video:

    My buddy Jim Maedgen is a hardline conservative and Marine (3/5) veteran of the Vietnam War. He lost a bet and has to grow the “determined Obama” chia pet in his office at work.

  27. R.D. Walker says:

    A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.

    The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

    The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved. And he yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn’t even an American.

    So I said that Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, “Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!”

    “And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a damned truck hit us.”

  28. R.D. Walker says:

    The wussification of the West continues unabated.

    OTTAWA, March 4 (UPI) — Canada’s federal government plans to look at changing the country’s national anthem “O Canada,” to make it gender neutral. When parliament reconvened Wednesday and the minority Conservative government of Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced its agenda, the anthem was one of the smaller items that would be addressed in coming weeks, the Toronto Star reported Thursday. The gender issue, politicians claim, rankling female constituents is the third line, which says “True patriot love in all thy sons command.” Government officials said they have received numerous suggestions on a replacement line, including “Thou dost in us command” and “In all of us command.“

  29. notamobster says:

    It should say “where PC runs this land” or maybe “where men used to be men” or even “my vagina’s full of sand”…

  30. R.D. Walker says:

    Snow. My vagina’s full of “snow.”

    • R.D. Walker says:

      Holy Shit! Did you see this Fox News report? I know! Goldman Sachs is up 1.58!

      • Tater Salad says:

        A Pastor with GUTS!

        Thought you might enjoy this interesting
        prayer given in Kansas at
        the opening session of their Senate. It seems
        prayer still upsets some
        people.. When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open
        the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is
        what they heard:

        Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask
        your forgiveness and to seek your direction and
        guidance. We know Your Word says, ‘Woe to those
        who call evil good,’ but that is exactly what we
        have done.

        We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed
        our values.

        We have exploited the poor and called it
        the lottery.

        We have rewarded laziness and called it

        We have killed our unborn and called it

        We have shot abortionists and called it

        We have neglected to discipline our
        children and called it building self esteem….

        We have abused power and called it

        We have coveted our neighbor’s possessions
        and called it ambition.

        We have polluted the air with profanity and
        pornography and called it freedom of expression.

        We have ridiculed the time-honored values
        of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

        Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts
        today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.

        The response was immediate. A number of
        legislators walked out during the prayer in
        protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian
        Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than
        5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls
        responding negatively. The church is now receiving
        international requests for copies of this prayer
        from India , Africa and Korea .

        Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on
        his radio program, ‘The Rest of the Story, ‘and
        received a larger response to this program than any
        other he has ever aired.

        With the Lord’s help, may this prayer sweep
        over our nation and wholeheartedly become our
        desire so that we again can be called ‘one nation
        under God.’

  31. Jim 22 says: has postulated that Rahm Emanuel will be leaving the White House soon. They claim that Axelrod and Jarret have taken over his duties and zero is listening to them, not him. They even have a ‘Dead Pool’ going.

  32. R.D. Walker says:

    See, good comedy is hard to create. You post a photo of a sign with a silhouette of a chicken-man on his hands and knees with an arrow pointing at his ass and there just isn’t much you can say that is funny. The cognitive dissonance created by the sign leaves no room for further dissonance and, thus, humor. I tried to come up with something about the prison rape of the Birdman of Alcatraz but it all just fell flat. I submit that there is just nothing that can be said about that sign that is funnier than the sign itself.

    In other words, it was a chickenshit post.

  33. notamobster says:

    It’s obviously some establishment in Thailand whereby some cock gets on his knees and you play “butt-darts” with him. Duh!

    (That’s awful… I know, you don’t have to tell me)

  34. notamobster says:

    Wow! I think he was my 5th grade teacher…. what an idiot. Liberalism in it’s finest form. I’m shocked that they churn out nothing but killers, dope fiends, and welfare rats.

  35. R.D. Walker says:

    Al Gore owes me some tomatoes.

    The skyrocketing price of Florida produce is hitting home in Eastern Iowa now. And for tomato lovers, that means be prepared to pay up or do without.

    The cold weather in January and February that prompted so much grumbling here reached down to Florida as well. And the cold wiped out an estimated 70% of the tomato crop in that southern state. That’s important since most fresh tomatoes in Iowa come from Florida in the wintertime. And the impact on prices was immediate.

    Seriously. When the weather is warmer than usual in the winter we all sing a happy song. When it is colder, we have to do without tomatoes. I noticed that restaurants including Wendy’s have stopped putting tomatoes on burgers and in salads. Global warming is not even a fraction as threatening as cooling.

    The tomato price hike is impacting restaurants as well as grocery stores. Last Monday, Wendy’s Restaurants in the Cedar Rapids area posted signs saying customers must now request tomatoes for any sandwich.

    Have you ever considered what a killing frost in August across the the plains and Midwest would do to food prices? They got them in the 1740s.

  36. Locke n Load says:

    Tell ya what RD, when they come I’ll report from sunny texas 🙂
    Did I tell ya we can grow Olives in Ft Worth? Cooool… Tomatoes however are a different problem. I have to start mine from seed at Christmas and plant in march, then simultaneiously replant some seeds to plant in June. Tomatoes won’t set if nite temps stay above 80 so we get whacked for 2 months. Makes for a great demand on determinate varietals. At least among those of us that understand shit like that 🙂
    And artichokes..I get 2 seasons of artichokes too. Damn I love texas

  37. Locke n Load says:

    Oh Jeez, just read the Otis Mathis thing.
    Good lord that was depressing. At least the college football players I tutored weren’t harming anyone but themselves…

  38. notamobster says:

    Check out this new Prescription drug! Maybe Norma’s men could try this!!!

  39. BaconNeggs says:

    Did any of you guys catch your Brand New Funky President?

  40. notamobster says:

    How lovely! Our Commander-In-Chief works out to songs with lyics like:

    “… til I need a nut, til I need to beat the guts, then it’s..beep-beep and I’m picking em up — let ’em play with my dick in the truck”

    “You know I thug em, fuck em, love em, leave em, cuz – I don’t fuckin need em”

    “when my situation ain’t improvin, I’m tryin to murda everything movin”

    While there is nothing wrong with grown folks enjoying whatever kind of music they like – I’d prefer my Resident to not be suffering from some puerile fantasy wherein he has visions of being some sort of modern-day Tony Montana.

    The office of the Resident shouldn’t be sullied by having self-described drug-dealers and murderers over as friends!

  41. notamobster says:

    This comment was the result of being pretty drunk the other day and forgetting that the joke came from about 10 spaces up. Thus, it has been removed.

    Good lookin out, RD!

    (I’ve gotta slow down on the whiskey)

  42. R.D. Walker says:


  43. notamobster says:

    Well, this one might be rough for some folks, but I like rufflin feathers:

    What do you a call a black man flying an airplane?

    A pilot. You fucking racist!

    (My brother – whose children are black – didn’t like this one. I like it cause it leads you one way – points out your natural predilections toward stereotypes – and yanks your chain!!!)

  44. Locke n Load says:

    Omg I love that Nota, i’m dyin over here. THAT one I’m gonna steal and use 🙂

  45. Jim 22 says:

    For men only and NSFW:

    Below is a link to simply the best advertisement ever made. Fleggaard Holding is based in Krusaa, Denmark. Just across Germany’s northern-most border with Denmark you’ll find an incredible superstore called Fleggaard. There, you can buy everything you need – tubs of gummi bears, cases of wine, industrial strength dishwashing soap – at prices 30% cheaper than you’ll find in Denmark. It is Denmark’s Costco, packaged as a German loophole.

    You’d be hard-pressed to find a man in Denmark who hasn’t seen and fallen in love with this commercial. It was geared strictly to men. The ad is real!

  46. R.D. Walker says:

    That brings back memories of my days as a paratrooper.

  47. notamobster says:

    I don’t know what it was about – but I’m sold!

  48. Locke n Load says:

    Oh. My. God. Best commercial ever.

  49. Locke n Load says:

    hey RD, the darned hitcounter thingy is still goin batty, doesn’t show 30 day increments. Any ideas?

  50. R.D. Walker says:

    Asking for 30 days overwhelms the little gerbils on the wheels that power the server. There are just too many hits to map given the allotted memory we have on our server.

  51. Locke n Load says:

    10-4. Bummer. How many do YOU count for the last 30? I’d swear the dailies keep rising.

  52. Locke n Load says:

    Here’s a little bit of something depressing. Or Infuriating, I waver on that. Be careful where you send your children to college guys..

    I wanted to add this into the post devoted to the student protests but screw it. Just thought you might want to see one of the larger organizers of the marches in action. if you’ve just eaten, be careful..

  53. R.D. Walker says:

    January was our biggest month ever and February would have been slightly larger except it only had 28 days. The first week of March, however, is off to a slow start for some reason. Slow news maybe.

  54. R.D. Walker says:

    Are you a germ-a-phobe? Well I am about to ruin your day.

    Our homes and workplaces, we’re told, are trying to kill us. Recently, a University of Arizona microbiologist named Charles Gerba, author of hundreds of scientific papers about household microbes, gave a terrifying lecture at the offices of the Food and Drug Administration. Gerba—who, incidentally, has a child with the middle name Escherichia—that’s what the “E” in E. coli stands for—explained that a kitchen sponge and sink are home to thousands of times more bacteria than a toilet seat. Plus, 10 percent of household dishrags contain salmonella. After playing with other children, toddlers have more fecal bacteria on their hands than does a person exiting a public toilet stall. Those toilets, by the way, aerosolize so many droplets with each flush that Gerba compares their dispersion to “the Fourth of July.” And every public swimming pool he’s ever tested has contained disease-causing viruses.

    Oh, and hand sanitizers don’t work.

  55. Locke n Load says:

    I will NOT show this to my wife. Hazmat suits are too expensive to risk it. The deviant in me goes to great lengths to desensitize my wife to the perils of germs. I encourage the girls to play in the mud, pet the chickens, dig in the dirt, pet neighbors cats, collect bugs for the microscope, etc. We fearless non germaphobes know damned well that the more you are exposed to these little critters the better your immune system develops. Indisputable but non-evidential to the wife. Phobias are phobias,lol.

    UPDATE:! Read the article, should have first. My wife WILL read this damnit 🙂

  56. notamobster says:

    The text said this:

    People in Kanawha County, West Virginia have a warped sense of humor.
    It must be something in the coal-infused water or the asbestos left over from FMC.

    This is the pull off at Rt 35 and Miracle Dr
    A deer was hit there.
    The couch was dumped there previously.
    Day two the deer was on the couch.
    Day three the end table and lamp showed up.
    Day four the TV and TV stand showed up.

    The Trooper had to call WV DOT because of all the people stopping to take pictures.

  57. notamobster says:

    Brad – – – why does that kids stand like he’s singing for Greenday?

  58. Locke n Load says:

    Just visited monbat HOF. Please, please…tell me how Behar has a job? Who the hell is she, some hall monitor or hairdresser or something? I don’t watch TV guys, is that broad for real? What were her qualifications in the first place? She’s worse than the mani/pedi set in chicago… Damn, my head hurts just hearing her.
    As for Eve, don’t get me started. A woman who glorifies homosexual child molestation (her own and others) is unfit for public life in any way shape or form.