Off Topic



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64 Responses to Off Topic

  1. BrunDawg says:

    Don’t mess with Chicago Cops.

    A Near West Side man who was paroled from prison two days ago was shot to death outside his home early this morning, authorities said.

    He was identified as Curtis Green, of the 1300 block of West Hastings Street, according to the Cook County medical examiner’s office. Green, 23, was found on the street in the same block as his home with a gunshot wound to the head about 1:20 a.m., police said.

    No one was in custody, and Harrison Area detectives were investigating.

    He was paroled Wednesday from Danville Correctional Center after serving little more than a year on a 2009 conviction for resisting, obstructing or injuring a police officer.

  2. Van-a-gram says:

    BrunDawg–

    When are you going to just pack it in and get the hell out of Chicago??

  3. Van-a-gram says:

    Jet Assisted Takeoff (JATO). Helps overloaded planes get off the ground and/or on short runways.

    Didn’t some moron strap one of these to his buick and ended up dying of “sudden deaccleration trauma” (i.e. hitting something solid at 450 mph)?

    I vaguely remember something on Darwin Awards….

  4. R.D. Walker says:

    Mythbusters took that one on. There is no record of it happening so they went ahead an put an rocket with the same power on a remote controlled car and flew behind it in a helicopter. The car took off but it never got going fast enough to fly.

  5. MadBrad says:

    I love that aircraft. The first time I saw it was in the movie “Strategic Air Command” starring Jimmy Stewart. The first time I saw the real deal was a display at Eglin Air Force Base.

  6. slaphappypap says:

    Brundog lives in Chicago? I thought you were a Michigan guy.

  7. R.D. Walker says:

    I distinctly remember this ad when it came out in 1993. All of the stuff they said we would do seemed so impossibly advanced. Now, not so much.

  8. notamobster says:

    Slap – - – I’ll be in Chicago tomorrow. I get in to Union Station at 1030 and leave at 2030. If you get a chance, you should come on down. We can get a cup of coffee. Hit me up on at notamobster@gmail.com
    I have it setup as a personal account on my crackberry, so I’ll get it anywhere (except my living room and dining room for some reason!)

    BrunDawg – If you live in Chi-town, come on down, too!

  9. Locke n Load says:

    I remember that ad too RD, and Tom Selleck doing the voice over,wow. Did seem a bit outrageous at the time, didn’t it? hell, I don’t think I even HAD a computer by then. A huge hard drive would have been what, 5 gigs? Ah yes, the salad days of 14.4 baud dialup…

  10. slaphappypap says:

    I can’t Nota. I’ve got people moving out of my building. Damnit! I’ll see if I can get there in the afternoon.

  11. R.D. Walker says:

    I used to work with a guy who, each year on this day, would proclaim: “Hooray, hooray it’s the first of May, outdoor fucking starts today.”

    I miss him.

  12. Bman says:

    When I was a little kid, I thought May Day was not only my Dad’s birthday, but a day to pick flowers, leave them on someones porch, ring the doorbell and run away. Thats what i thought people did on May Day. But nope. It’s not about that at all. Good day Comrades

  13. R.D. Walker says:

    Still do that here. We have had several May baskets delivered to my 5 year old today and he put them out this morning. Violets, lilacs and candy.

  14. Locke n Load says:

    Southwestern Idaho smells like french fries. odd thought for the day :)

  15. Locke n Load says:

    Well aint this cute…looks like our domestic-commie-mayday-new-wave terrorists aren’t getting very good training. Am I mistaken or does the date, the location, and the method sound like a failed attempt to make a statement?

    http://wcbstv.com/local/suspicious.package.fire.2.1669044.html

    Not being near a TV today, did this get ANY coverage at all?

  16. BaconNeggs says:

    I dont think the ruling socialist New Labour Party had much of a chance, despite many millions who would continue to vote for “free-stuff” even if Satan himself stood before them.

    Anyway “Gillian the Pensioner” just gave Britain’s PM Gordon Brown his “Joe the Plumber” moment.

  17. BaconNeggs says:

    Sistas – Topless in Maine.

    “Nearly two dozen of them marched topless through this college town to protest what they call a double standard that allows men to take off their shirts on a hot summer day. Many men joined the women, taking off their shirts and marching side by side”.

    http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/803448–dozens-of-topless-women-march-for-equality-in-maine?bn=1

  18. Nobody says:

    Ummmmm…. the link to the Gillian Duffy thing above just links back to this page. Not to worry, I think we can all copy and paste….

    What really annoys the crud out of me about Ms Duffy is that, being, apparently, a lifelong Labour die-hard she has really learned nothing from the incident – she is not going to vote at all, rather than vote for anyone other than a Labour candidate. Sad.

  19. Locke n Load says:

    Nobody, I just fixed his link up for ya.

  20. notamobster says:

    Just got this in an email. Funny & Sad.

    HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2029

    Seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

    White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.

    Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

    Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica .. no other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

    85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. (HAHAHA)

    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

    Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .

    Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

    Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches .

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent..

    Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

  21. MadBrad says:

    A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.” The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

    “She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.” “I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?” “Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

    The man smiled and responded, “You must be an Obama Democrat.”

    “I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?” “Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

  22. Bman says:

    I just got my Revo shirt in the mail today. Now I have something to wear to church.

  23. R.D. Walker says:

    Very cool! It is especially good for weddings, bar mitzvahs, christenings and dinner parties.

  24. Bman says:

    All good ideas RD! How about funerals?

  25. R.D. Walker says:

    Depends on the funeral. The Real Revo t-shirt is considered festival wear and coveys a sense of celebratory joy. Use your own discretion.

  26. notamobster says:

    Funeral for Ted “cold water murder” Kennedy or John “cold-blooded murder” Murtha? Yep. Definitely celebratory joy.

    Hey RD – did you see the Revo shirt I posted? I didn’t get it made, but it looked nice.

    (Maybe on the back, it could say “I teabag liberals at http://www.therealrevo.com” heeheehee

  27. R.D. Walker says:

    I did see it. It did look good. When I get some time, I will present some other designs I have been noodling over. We will get to decide together what to make.

  28. Bman says:

    Maybe you guys can make it into a contest for the readers. Best design gets the Shiny Nickel.

    • notamobster says:

      I don’t know the design prowess of the other guys, but RD could give me a run for my money. I have a brazillian ideas! Check this one out (website addy and banner on the back):

  29. R.D. Walker says:

    See, when I first heard the term “tea bag” years ago, I understood the use of it as a verb to entail the “bagger” being the participant utilizing the tongue, not the recipient of its benefits. Even if I am wrong, others like me will read “I teabag liberals” to mean the opposite of what we want. Right?

  30. notamobster says:

    I guess it must be a generational thing….. My first experience with the concept of teabagging was in boot camp. We had a “Joker” and a guy named “Hanson” (name not changed to protect the lazy or worthless…) After graduation we were waiting to ship out and “Hanson” (reservist) took a nap….. Backstory: “Hanson” decided to become Jewish during boot, because they went to Synagogue EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!! He had holidays, and services, and anything he could think of, to get out of PT, KP, anything resembling work….. SO – when he took a nap after graduation, “Joker” tea-bagged him and took a picture of it. From that point on, I understood the tea-bagger to be the guy dipping the tea-bag…….and the recipient to be the guy having the tea-bag dipped on him! Thus, he just got tea-bagged!

    The young people will know what’s being said when they see “I just tea-bagged a liberal!”

  31. Locke n Load says:

    Brad, that balloon joke is priceless. I’ve got to send that one around…perfect.

  32. BrunDawg says:

    Illinois tries to backdoor a tax increase to help balance an out of control budget… calling it a utility rate increase.

    “SPRINGFIELD — Commonwealth Edison extended Illinois an unexpected $500 million budgetary lifeline today, but the company’s offer has the state’s top utility watchdog worried that consumers will be stuck paying higher electricity rates under the deal.”

    http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/2234946,comed-offers-500million-050410.article

  33. vanagram says:

    Who is expecting Cinco De Mayo riots…er…’celebrations’ in AZ today?

    4th of July is nothing. This is the new national holiday.

  34. R.D. Walker says:

    Correction. It is Cinco de Quatro.

  35. Bman says:

    May 5th. I look at it the same way I look at Oktoberfest; another excuse to drink beer.

  36. Bman says:

    I know folks here like karate.

    • notamobster says:

      Great video. Hillarious, though I just lost 17 IQ points by watching it.

  37. Bman says:

    I can’t stop watching that video. It’s the dumbest thing i’ve ever seen. My IQ has dipped just above 56 from watching it.

    “I hope you like pain!” Harharhar

  38. BrunDawg says:

    Van-a-gram Re: Cinco de mayo ‘celebrations’ -
    Stabbing During Cinco De Mayo Brawl
    Cops: More Than 100 People Involved In Melee.
    http://www.myfoxny.com/dpp/news/local_news/long_island/Cinco-De-Mayo-Bar-Brawl-On-Long-Island-20100506-kc

  39. Greg says:

    Wish we could get back ….

  40. BrunDawg says:

    Remember when that bridge collapsed in Minneapolis? The flooding in Iowa? There was a president on site who offered sympathy and support? 0bama can’t make it to Nashville. But he can schedule a press appearance following what I’m sure will be a good jobs number (mainly because of all the hired nonproductive census workers). He got the number yesterday and scheduled a televised sermon, weird. I have the Bingo card ready. I’m not going to get too excited about any rally in the market.

    Oh, and the 7-8 billion we are sending over to Greece? I think we should get something in return. The Parthenon for example. We could sell tickets to help offset the cost, or break it up into desk paperweights. How cool would that be?

  41. R.D. Walker says:

    I think the Parthenon would look great in that downtown city park in Sarasota… or in Wall, SD.

  42. notamobster says:

    we could put it next to the replica in in Nashville to show what happens when decadence goes unchecked…

  43. BrunDawg says:

    BINGO!
    10:05 CST. Less than 3 min into the sermon.

  44. BrunDawg says:

    Did 0bama just call workers in the service sector ‘servants’? I think he did.

  45. Bman says:

    So….Here it is May 7th. It’s 41 degrees, raining, and they are calling for snow later tonight/early Saturday morning. I don’t think weve reached above 55 since the beginning of May. God I love spring.

  46. BrunDawg says:

    Just another Monday. A few overnite headlines from Chicago:
    Police: Intruder slain by cop in Grand Crossing.
    Man shot to death in Englewood apartment.
    2 women shot on West Side.
    Man found shot in the head in South Shore.
    2 people shot in Gage Park.

    The news outlet decided that the story about Tom Skilling (weatherman) chasing a tornado was the top story.

  47. slaphappypap says:

    All that and we’re not allowed to carry and conceal. What a joke.

  48. BrunDawg says:

    The only one legally allowed to defend himself was the cop who shot an intruder. The intruder apparently tried to rob the officer’s home. Our laws have put the odds in favor of the intruder.

  49. R.D. Walker says:

    Now this is some funny stuff!

    Fake Yo-Yo Trickster Fools Every TV Station Everywhere

    Hat tip to Fred

  50. Bman says:

    A headline on the front page of the Grand Forks Herald (daily dead fish wrapper) today:

    GF home intruder pees, forgets keys

    It was a 4 paragraph report of a drunk 18-20 year old white male, who walked into some 33 year old gals house, took a leak in her bathroom, and left. Nothing was taken, but the intruder left behind him a set of keys. The woman heard someone peeing in her bathroom at 6:45am got up, saw the guy and called the cops. He was gone by the time the cops reached the house. The woman is reconsidering leaving her door unlocked over night.

    Other than that, nothing else exciting.

  51. R.D. Walker says:

    An American Indian, a Muslim and a Cowboy are in a bar and raise a toast.

    The Indian raises his beer and says, “Once we were many and now we are few.”

    The Muslim raises his cup of coffee and says, “Once we were few and now we are many.”

    The cowboy raises his whiskey and says, “We haven’t gone to war with the Muslims yet.”

  52. Locke n Load says:

    Damn Slap, you know Chicago “aint ready for reform” :)

  53. Locke n Load says:

    Rd, that yo-yo guy is fantastic. Thats what I love about small town local tv. You never know WHAT the hell might happen. My first visit to KU introduced me to LIVE COVERAGE of the world Putt Putt championship,lol.

  54. Bman says:

    So, Ole and Lena’s sex life was on the rocks. One day, Lena was watching Oprah, which had a show focused on spicing up the romance in a couples relationship. Lena took notes and was going to make her move later that night.

    So later on, ole lay in bed, reading Field and Stream. Lena was in the bathroom, getting herself ready for hot, steamy sex, (Ole and Lena are in their 80′s or so btw). All she had on was a cape, and a mask that just covered her eyes.

    She lept out of the bathroom and ended up at the foot of the bed. “Super Pussy!”

    Ole glanced up from his magazine, eyes over his glasses and replies,

    “Ya. I think I’ll take the soup.”

  55. R.D. Walker says:

    Ole and Lena? Ya, ya betchya. I know all about dos two square heads, aye?

  56. R.D. Walker says:

    The Revo really slows down when Notamobster is at sea…

  57. slaphappypap says:

    I concur RD. He’s kinda like Santa. He’s not there but you just gotta believe he’ll come back.

  58. Locke n Load says:

    He’s prolific, aint he? Anybody heard boo from him since he went out?