Off Topic

This off topic thread brought to you by Chewbacca fighting Nazis while riding on a giant squirrel.

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71 Responses to Off Topic

  1. Vanangram says:

    …a squirrel with explosive diarrhea. That will teach those Nazis….

  2. R.D. Walker says:

    Dubya and Laura met some troops returning from a deployment today. Here are some great shots.

  3. BrunDawg says:

    Fear the giant squirrel. He goes right for the nuts.

  4. BrunDawg says:

    PITTSBURGH — A judge has denied a Pittsburgh-area man’s petition to legally change his name to Boomer the Dog.
    No relation.

  5. MadBrad says:


    The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

    Little Sally led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”

    “Very good,” said the teacher.

    Little Jenny was next:

    “I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”

    “Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher..

    Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn.

    The teacher held her breath …

    Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467,” he said.

    “$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”

    “Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny.

    “Toothbrushes!” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”

    “I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.”

    They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog shit!”

    Then I would say,”It IS dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?”

    “I used the governmental approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the shitty taste out of your mouth.”

  6. R.D. Walker says:

    The sophistication and humor of the American Left. Breathtaking, isn’t it?

  7. Locke n Load says:

    Did ya know there’s a Galt California? I don’t think it will suit our needs…

    Back from Disney. Good news is the LA location was a pleasant surprise. I didn’t get mugged by the park as bad as I thought (although Mickey DID pat my ass for some reason). I think I stimulated the local economy to the tune of an avg american monthly salary though,lol. All around good fun and the Princesses are HOT 😉

  8. R.D. Walker says:

    It is 2242 CDT. If you happen to be somewhere clear and dark, go outside and look to the Northeast. Wifey and I were outside for five minutes and saw three big, fat sparkly meteors.

    We are in the middle of the Peseids Meteor Shower and they are really coming down.

  9. Locke n Load says:

    Dude, I stopped the Disney caravan on the side of the road about 40 miles west of Flagstaff at 11pm the other night. Woke up the slightly PO’d kids and pointed their heads skyward. Not only had they never seen the Milky Way before they got to see a handful of meteors fly by. you’d have thought somebody handed them $1000 they were so excited. Unfortunately there’s just too much light pollution here in Wichita Falls but tomorrow night I’ll be out looking again as I park somewhere near the Acadamy in Colo Springs.. With any luck they’ll still be going strong when i get into the high country of Montana Sat night..

    yer damned lucky to be so far away from the city lights man, enjoy.

  10. R.D. Walker says:

    Yeah, the Milky Way is like a big washed out gash running diagonally across the sky above my yard tonight. The wife and I were just talking about how bright it is. I do like dark nights.

    I just went back outside and saw three more: one big and two small.

    I am glad your girls got to see them. I bet that they remember it. I still remember the first time I saw one. It was low to the horizon and I begged my dad to go look for it where it landed in the corn.

  11. Locke n Load says:

    I remember first learning about the 2 big seasonal storms back in 3rd grade when I started attacking the grade school library’s science racks. Yes, we had racks. Tons and tons of books, absolutely amazing really..

    Anyway, a buddy of mine and I would regulary ‘camp out’ in his back yard and we made it an annual event to see who could count the most. I never miss ’em to this day. that same friend and I also had this strange thing for evel kneivel about that time. to thgis day I can’t believe his mother didn’t beat the crap out of me for getting him to do some of the crazy shit we got away with. he had 6 brothers and sisters, 5 younger, and we’d make them lie down on the driveway as we put a bike ramp next to them all. Our version of Caesars palace involved a mass of squirming kids and a schwinn banana seat,lol. never landed on any of them btw.

    As for the kids and the meteors i’m betting they remember THAT far longer than our lunch with the 5 princesses… And Cinderella WAS hot. Belle? They shouldn’t allow daddy’s into that gig, it could get us into trouble.

  12. Locke n Load says:

    I was driving south on 94 into the city when this monster went screaming past. The last bit of video shows it best but doesn’t do it justice. This sucker went from orange to bright green and hung in to sky for what seemed an eternity.

  13. sortahwitte says:

    Let me get this straight.

    The Russians are helping Iran fuel their nuclear reactor.
    The USA is buying helicopters from Russia.

    Is there some fuckwit in charge, or are we running on random chaos?

    I confess, I am irritable. The A/C threw craps last night. Predicted high today, 105.

  14. Bman says:

    This is some good shit. High school kids.

    “Ladies, from now on you’ll never see one of thoes men without the other three.”

    —Harold Hill

  15. R.D. Walker says:

    I think this is the Real Batman!

  16. MadBrad says:

    Tonight on the News Hour with Jim Lehrer…

    “There is a Pre-French Revolutionary mood among the American People right now”.

  17. Air Force Brat says:

    In that case, Marie Antoinette and The Marxist Mongrel would do well to read up on the fall of the Bastille, no?

    Glen Beck said on his show some months back that, barring a miracle, what’s coming won’t be another American Revolution, but much more like a French or Russian Revolution. In that event, I sure wouldn’t want to be part of the “ruling elite” or whatever the hell they think of themselves as.

  18. Air Force Brat says:

    Sortahwitte — please accept my sympathies. Hopefully it isn’t your compressor or some other Godawful expensive thing. My piddly little capacitor and fan motor going out last month set me back $468 — it would’ve only been about $300, but it happened on a weekend; however, when the temp hit 95+ in the house, I was willing to put whatever dent in the plastic was necessary. I love Oklahoma, but HATE summer.

  19. R.D. Walker says:

    The French Revolutionaries weren’t demanding less government. They were demanding bread from a socialist state. I don’t think that is the American mood.

    Well, no matter what, let’s all pray that it doesn’t lead to the Jacobin bullshit of the 1790s in France.

    AFB: It wasn’t just the ruling class whose heads dropped into baskets. There were literally rivers of blood. There is a reason they called it The Terror.

    We don’t need a Robespierre.

  20. Air Force Brat says:

    True that, R.D., but we may get one anyway. The longer matters go unaddressed, the greater the potential for violence. It may unfortunately come to pass that people will eventually be SO pissed off and SO frustrated that they’ll accept a Robespierre, a Marat, a Danton, etc., without fully realizing what casting their lots with such a “leader” would entail.

    I agree with you 100% about praying we don’t get another bunch of Jacobins. November will be the litmus test, IMHO.

  21. MadBrad says:

    I am starting to think that we are smarter than that. I am starting to think that there is a possibility that very soon, because of all the bullshit that has been thrown against us and the fact that we are still here, that we are going to develop a sense of order that is unflappable. More and more people have had their eyes opened and their compass is actually working now.

  22. sortahwitte says:

    AFB, thanks for the sympathy. It was the compressor. In technician speak, “A major malfunction.” This is Fri. pm. The new one will be installed Mon. am. It ended up being 107 today. I would never leave Oklahoma, but likewise, I am so…. tired of summer.

  23. Air Force Brat says:

    Gadzooks, Sorta, that sucks gigantically. I hope you’re staying in a hotel or something until Monday!

  24. Locke n Load says:

    Sorta, be grateful it wasn’t the evaporator coil inside. That ones even MORE expensive. We lost ours the first week of 100’s here in Tx. Ended up costing almost as much as entirely new air handler. Get the AC guy to bring you a portable AC unit, they should have one for folks in your situation, right?

  25. R.D. Walker says:

    Guess the Revoista: The second person interviewed on this video is one of our regulars. He has given me permission to out him. I can’t embed this so you are going to have to hit the link.

    About two years ago in Iowa they banned smoking in all bars. This is one of those areas were I am conflicted and feel strongly both ways. On one hand, my instinctual libertarianism demands that bar owners be allowed to let market conditions decide whether they allow smoking or not. It is private property and the state shouldn’t prohibit any legal activity.

    On the other hand it has been frickin’ heaven to go have a beer since the ban has passed. As a non-smoker, I seldom spent more than a few minutes in a bar prior to the ban. Now it is so infinitely better that I like to go.

    I still would have voted against the ban if I were in the legislature but, personally, I love it.

    In either case, the ban being discussed in the video seems to take place in one town instead of the whole state. That is much worse than the ban in Iowa because it allows customers who are smokers to just take their business to bars outside the city limits really screwing those in the city. In Iowa, at least is is universal.

    In any case, I am guessing you will figure out the mystery Revoista pretty quick since we all know a lot about each other.

  26. Locke n Load says:

    Bman needs a shave,lol. What, no plug for the Revo??
    Dude, you were more coherent and comfortable on cam than the reporter! Nice of them to show your bar btw, now I know where to go to grab a drink in GF AND it looks like I could park,lol.

  27. sortahwitte says:

    LnL and AFB.
    All 5 loaners already in use. Yes, I’ve made resv. for tonight at Comfort Inn. Thanks for your thoughts.

  28. Bman says:

    The smoking ban here goes into effect at midnight tonight. The problem with that is, that the bars are open until 2am. You can imagine the potential hassle that presents itself.

    Personally, nothing would be better to work in a bar that isn’t like a smokestack. However, I do not believe 5 members of a city council should have the authority to dictate to bar owners on how to run their businesses. Many people state that the people should have been able to vote on this matter. I disagree. What is there to vote on? Why should the public, some who may not even attend bars, deceide how the business owner should run his business. This issue has NOTHING to do with if you smoke or not. It has EVERYTHING to do with how a business owner chooses to run their own private business. Bars in this town who have in the past been smoke free, have always failed. There WILL be loss of revenue to bar owners and workers. And generally speaking, the waitress or bartender are normally at the lower end of the economic ladder. This ban will effect them the most. There is that pesky unintended consequence again!

    Why didn’t the city council force the smoke-free bars to allow smoking?

  29. R.D. Walker says:

    I don’t think there was too much of a revenue loss when it was universal. People who wanted to go to bars couldn’t take their business from a smokeless to a smoking bar.

    Now, having said that: as much as I enjoy smokeless bars, Bman, I agree with every word in your post.

  30. Bman says:

    “People who wanted to go to bars couldn’t take their business from a smokeless to a smoking bar.”

    And thats exactly what I’m talking about; leveling the “playing field” by taking choices away. Just not right. However RD, I know you agree with that, not arguing with ya at all. Having said that, I am looking forward to working in a smoke-free bar.

  31. MadBrad says:

    Good show BMan.

    I recently went into a tirade in a bar which began with me yelling loudly; “The first time that happens the bartender needs to shoot the Motherfucker”. This was when I was told that bar owners may now be fined One Thousand Dollars if they sell cigarettes and render service to a patron who asks for a “Light”cigarette. Yes, the Feds say that you can’t describe any cigarette as “Light”anymore, so if an ATF Agent witnesses a bar patron asking for a light cigarette and is sold ANY cigarette, this will result in a One Thousand Dollar fine.

    The bullshit has become intolerable.

  32. Bman says:

    You have GOT to be shitting MadBrad!! That is the biggest bunch of bullshit Ive ever heard! So, are they just suppose to sell them Victory Cigarettes?

    Another thing they do here once in a while is play the game of “Bust the Bartender.” This game is played, by local law enforcement, to send a minor into the bar and ask for a beer. The plain clothes officer blends in with the crowd, making himself inconspicuous. If the bartender sells the beer to the snot nosed kid? Game over. $500 dollar fine for the bartender and loss of job, over a $1000 to the bar owner, and the bar has to close for 24 hours.

    Now, here’s the bullshit part. Every bar has a MUST BE 21 TO ENTER or YOU WILL BE PROSECUTED sign on their doors. So what this means, is the police have to break the law in order to catch someone else breaking the law. A tad bit of hypocrisy, dont ya think? And another thing; stats show that LESS than 5% of alcohol that gets in the hands of minors comes from bars. Less than 5%. The majority of alcohol consumed by minors comes from home. Perhaps the cops need to start beating on resident homes to see if anyone is breaking the law….

    you know im kidding about that last statement.

  33. MadBrad says:

    Yes. There are no longer any “Marlboro Lights” on the market. They are “Marlboro Gold” now, in compliance with Federal Law. Other cigarette manufacturers are doing the same thing. If you ask for a “Light” cigarette and the bartender sells you a pack of Golds, that will cost One Thousand Dollars if an ATF Agent witnesses it.

    Personally I think any cigarette with a filter is gay. I smoked Camel non-filtered when I smoked cigarettes. NEVER be a half-ass dumbass I always say. Cigarette butts are just nasty so I had more pride in myself than to smoke a cigarette that generated one. Now I am proud to say that I’ve put that nasty addiction down.

  34. Bman says:

    LnL…Anytime youre in GF, definately stop at The Bun for one…or until one. Of course, this goes for all Revoistas. Put your wallets away. Your money is no good here.

  35. Slaphappypap says:

    I have to agree with everyone here. I love the fact that bars in Illinois are smoke free. I do in fact go to Indiana to visit friends in bars. I cannot get used to the fact that the bars look like a opium den. I don’t understand why it takes politicians to say no smoking and not the owner.

  36. Locke n Load says:

    Just passed their tourbus in Wyoming rolling north on 25. Gave em a big airhorn howdie 🙂

  37. BaconNeggs says:

    Well I just came across this story on Marketwatch – EA plans Taliban video game.

    I did a quick search and came up with this link.

    Personally it seems a bit weird to bring this out during an ongoing war. But perhaps it could have some benefit from a training perspective.

    Anyway what do you guys think?

  38. Locke n Load says:

    Hilarious. Wish I’d thought of it….

  39. MadBrad says:

    I’m actually subjecting myself to the Talking Heads shows this morning.

    I just finished watching Meet the Depressed and the show-long interviews of General Petraeus. The General was describing the various enemy factions as being autonomous and not necessarily helping each other even though they have the same goals. They sound like Democrats to me.

    Coming up next: Erase the Nation with Bob Sheepherder.

  40. Air Force Brat says:

    R.D. — not sure which would be faster, this post or clicking on “Contact”, so I’m going to try it both ways.

    I think something’s wonky with the “Pre-French Revolutionary” entry; it won’t load properly. I tried to view the comments, pressed F5 to refresh, clicked on the thread title itself — no good. The screen is all jumbled up like a Picasso painting.

    I thought at first that maybe my computer was having problems, but all other threads load just fine, and there’s no problem playing vids. Can you take a look and see if you can shed some light on what’s up? Thanks.

  41. R.D. Walker says:

    Which browser are you using, AFB? The post looks fine to me.

  42. MadBrad says:

    Bob Sheepherder is soon to offer his final thoughts for the show today. I already have a little vomit happening in my throat. If the people being interviewed today actually represent the guiding philosophies of the ruling class then it’s no wonder we are fucked so hard.

    I am actually going to do the McLaugh-in Group next. I used to do this every Sunday. What a colossal waste of time.

  43. Air Force Brat says:

    R.D. — it’s factory-installed Internet Explorer (Windows 7). So weird how all comment threads & vids on all sites pull up except that one! Guess I could try deleting all cookies/cleaning out the cache and see if that helps.

  44. Air Force Brat says:

    Well, excrete a gold brick! Now it opened up just fine. Maybe deleting the cookies/cleaning out the cache did the trick.

  45. MadBrad says:

    Okay, John McLaughlin just dropped a good one. He calls what President Obama did when he threw notorious Clinton supporter Charlie Rangle under the bus as “Revenge of the Nerd”.

  46. MadBrad says:

    Monday morning E-Mail…

    A lawyer and a redneck are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

    The lawyer is thinking that rednecks are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.

    So the lawyer asks if the redneck would like to play a fun game.

    The redneck is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

    The lawyer persists, “This game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question,
    and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.

    You ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.”

    This catches the redneck’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, agrees to play the game.

    The lawyer asks the first question.

    “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

    The redneck doesn’t say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a
    five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

    Now, it’s the redneck’s turn. He asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill
    with three legs, and comes down with four?”

    The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the
    airphone, he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.

    After an hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the redneck and hands him $500. The redneck pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

    The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes up the redneck and asks, “Well, what does go up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”

    The redneck reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to

  47. John B. says:

    I watched Second Hand Lions with my oldest last night. We both loved it, thank you for the recommendation!

  48. sortahwitte says:

    I finally found it again. From one of the wisest men who ever lived, King Soloman. Ecclesiastes 10:2&3, New International Version.

    2 The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left.
    3 Even as he walks along the road, the fool lacks sense and shows everyone how stupid he is.

    Yes, I’ve already memorized it.

  49. R.D. Walker says:

    Bragging up the Northern Plains…

    2010 ACT Scores

    Top Ten States
    State Rank Average
    Composite Score
    % of Graduates
    Minnesota 1 22.9 70
    Iowa 2 22.2 60
    Wisconsin 3 22.1 69
    Nebraska 4 22.1 73
    Montana 5 22.0 58
    Kansas 6 22.0 75
    South Dakota 7 21.8 79
    Utah 8 21.8 71
    Ohio 9 21.8 66
    Idaho 10 21.8 60
  50. Bman says:

    This is an interesting follow-up on RD’s post

  51. Bman says:

    Is a lawn mower an appropriate wedding gift? A friend is getting married and I suggested to the guys to chip in and get him one. He needs it. Any thoughts?

  52. slinger says:

    Bman, any man would be happy to get a lawn mower as a wedding gift. Make sure to wrap it up in brown paper and duct tape though.

  53. R.D. Walker says:

    I’d say it is damned fine gift. If a crock pot or a toaster is a good wedding gift, why the hell isn’t a mower? The idea of wedding gifts – I understand – is to help the couple set up house. If they need a lawn mower to set up house, then it is a fine gift.

    I suppose some women might object that it isn’t romantic like kitchen gear is, but I don’t see the difference.

    I would probably wrap up a photo of the mower and maybe the documentation rather than take the thing to the reception, however. You can always deliver it afterwards, right?

  54. Vanagram says:

    Personally, I’m holding out for the Bucket Size. The Buckskin.

  55. Bman says:

    I was thinking we would roll the thing up to where all the other gifts are. It would have a nice shiny bow on it so it wouldnt stick out as much along the other gifts.

  56. Bman says:

    Van- now thats what Im talkin ’bout! Think the city of San Fransicko would allow that in the city limits? I think not!

  57. sortahwitte says:

    When my youngest was married, 15 ladies in the church gave her a wedding shower. Usually the hostesses get together and buy a nice, big gift. She and her husband received a $200 card to Lowes. They thought that was the most thoughtful gift ever.

  58. Bman says:

    I must say, thoes 15 ladies are quite cheap. Thats like 13 bucks each! Ante up, ladies!

  59. BaconNeggs says:

    This is probably old new to you techie guys here but I have only just discovered Realplayer SP yesterday, and the ease of downloading vidoes from Youtube and various media online.

    Its a pity I didnt have it sooner because many of my favourites are no longer online(damn). But now with one simple right-click I can download a video file and then covert it to any format for what ever device I want to playback on. Great!

    And the best thing… Realplayer SP is free and it takes about 5 mins to install and register.


  60. sortahwitte says:

    I was reading that Roger Clemmons was indicted for lying to congress.

    Long pause.

    Yes, you and I both know it’s illegal to lie under oath, but who told congress? They claim they didn’t know they owed THAT much money in income taxes. They claim they didn’t know the short, brown lady who serves the family their meals is an illegal from Columbia. They claim they didn’t know it is illegal to use their office to make a little money on the side. They claim they didn’t know it was against the laws of decency to knockup a staffer while their wife is fighting cancer. They claim, etc.

    There no adequate words. Liars.

  61. Bman says:

    I grew up playing hockey in the Seattle area. Every Saturday night during the hockey season, the TV would be tuned to CBC for Hockey Night in Canada. This song is Canada’s second National Anthem. Seriously it is. I tend to rip on Canadiens a lot, but this song kicks ass. Maybe one had to grow up with it in order to really appreciate it. Just wanted to share.

  62. Slaphappypap says:

    Good Share Bman! I had a girlfriend in Sarnia, Ontario that’s all we wanted to do was watch hockey. Amongst other things.

  63. Slaphappypap says:

    It’s 11:45pm. I just made a batch of jello shots and I’m eating tomato basil sauce with Italian Bread. It’s how I roll.

  64. Locke n Load says:

    Slap, yer a wild man.
    Don’t pull THIS shit though…

    That Utah state Trooper is my kinda guy…
    Make sure you click the videa link

  65. Slaphappypap says:

    Her BAC was two times the legal limit. Betcha she puked at the impact.

  66. Locke n Load says:

    One can only hope Slap… Still, I wanna buyb that trooper a beer. Beyond ballsy, that dude is COMMITTED.

    OK, question for the committee: I’m in Vegas, headed for Denver WEDNESDAY and have 700 miles and 4 days to kill on the ride. What should I do?
    I’m getting a new rod and tackle along the way to spend an afternoon fishing, and was thinking of doing some hiking in the Virgin River gorge ( ), but beyond that I’m a bit undecided. I rarely have this much time to kill. Ideas?

    BTW, the gorge starts around the 2:12 mark of the video. If you’ve never been through there, make a point of it someday. You’ll rarely see a sunset as beautiful as one while driving through here… the canyon walls are hundreds of feet high around you at times.

  67. Locke n Load says:

    For the record, that isn’t my video. And this is the northbound run, the soutbound is even more dramatic. Whatever video camera he was using doesn’t even begin to capture the colors of the canyon walls or the sheer drops into the gorge below. This is a drive that BEGS for a convertible. RD? You listening?

  68. BaconNeggs says:

    This is one of the most talented guys I have ever seen, he can play multiple instruments, at the same time and has a dry sense of humour too.

    Check out his vids here..