Off Topic

Off topic section brought to you by Soviet Russia music broadcast. (Я очень рад, ведь я, наконец, возвращаюсь домой) Read helpful subtitles for glorious lyrics of song!

Previous off topic threads

101 Responses to Off Topic

  1. notamobster says:

    That hairdo is SWEEEEEEEET.

    This guy looks like the bastard child of Janet Neopolitan and the guy they just confirmed to SCOTUS.

    (Robert Downey Kagan)

  2. BrunDawg says:

    Douglas Allen Smith Jr, 27, has successfully changed his name to Captain Awesome, with Captain his legal forename. Let’s hope he has kids.

  3. R.D. Walker says:

    Little known historical fact:

    In 1872 a Muslim inventor created the first condom using a goat’s lower intestine.

    In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

  4. jacksonsdad says:

    Back in my young-n-dumb teenage years I took a trip on the LSD train. All I can think of as I watch that video is…

    I’m sure as hell glad that I didn’t see that shit while I was trippin’. Methinks my head would have exploded.

  5. notamobster says:

    I’m watching zero right now…. he was forceful and angry with the left. Right on! The first press question was “If you say you oppose tax cuts for wealthy Americans, but give in to the politics of the moment, how are we expected to believe you when you say you will end them in the future?”

    Zero’s response was that of a typical “bumblefuck” :

    “Now hold on Ben… this is not the politics of the moment…this is doing what I can get done for the American people right now.”

    He realized how incredibly stupid that was and had a brain fart, pausing to collect his thoughts.

  6. notamobster says:

    google realtime results shows “politics of the moment” blowing up across the internet! Glad I wasn’t the only one who had that “huh? . . . what?” mmoment.


  7. R.D. Walker says:

    In the 1966 Soviet video at the top it has no lyrics for a reason. The original song spoke of cowboys, a mustang and a farm. All of which were too American and too Western so the Soviet authorities banned it. The singer wanted to perform it anyway, so he just Trololo-ed and performed it anyway. It is all here.

  8. BrunDawg says:

    Looking for “the moment” video and came across this little photoshop gem.

  9. Van-a-gram says:

    Freak out your neighbors

  10. slinger says:

    Van, that’s awesome …. I thought my SSID was a little boring. Now I know how to spice it up 🙂

  11. notamobster says:

    My 16 year old told me about this. We’re watching robot chicken together and she asked if I’ve seen this commercial:

  12. Locke n Load says:

    Van, you continue to crack me up. I’m gonna rename my home networks and see if the wife doesn’t shit a brick

  13. Nobody says:

    Extremely funny, but liable to attract unwanted attention from the real FBI surveillance van as it cruises the neighborhood illegally monitoring citizens’ internet activity.

  14. sortahwitte says:

    A very funny commercial for cleaning your balls. I like ‘Monica’ from “My Name is Earl”. In it she plays over-sexed white trash better than most gals do it for real.

  15. Locke n Load says:

    WTF?! Its like 60 degrees in McAllen Texas! had to throw a sweatshirt on, grrr. Can’t wait to see how bad it is in Toledo friday..

  16. R.D. Walker says:

    How about these for an SSIDs?

      Connect for Spam

      Virus Engine

      gEt V1@gRa oN|1ne

      Nancy Pelosi Naked

    Those should keep people from logging on.

  17. Jim22 says:

    The coach had put together the perfect team for the Oakland Raiders. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn’t find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

    Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.


    He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.


    Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.


    “I’ve got to get this guy!” Coach said to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”

    So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Raiders go on to win the Super Bowl.

    The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

    “Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

    “I don’t want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says.”You are not my son!”

    “I don’t think you understand, Mother,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

    “No! Let me tell you!” his mother retorts. “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!” The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,

    “I will never forgive you for making us move to Oakland !!”

  18. notamobster says:

    Jim: Smiley

  19. notamobster says:

    Rene Descartes walks into a bar.

    Bartender says “Hey buddy, how bout a cold one?”

    Descartes says “I think not” and “POOF” he disappears.

  20. Locke n Load says:

    ha! oh man, that would NOT go over in a sports bar,lol.

  21. Van-a-gram says:

    First MRI of childbirth. Good Lord, we know what this kid really is:

    TSA scanner finally caught something: A Martian

  22. Bman says:

    I dont get the Descartes joke. I know somewhat about him ( cartesian systems in math), but I dont get it.

  23. R.D. Walker says:

    Famous quote: “I think; therefore I am.” ~Rene Descartes

  24. Jim22 says:

    George W and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

    As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying, ‘No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse.’

    The second barber turned to Bush and said, ‘How about you sir ?’ Bush replied, ‘Go ahead, my wife doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.’

  25. Locke n Load says:

    screwed up again. was just on nra news (xm radio) and managed to NOT mention the Revo, ugh

    gave them our link offline though…who knows

  26. sortahwitte says:

    A guy cruises thru a stop sign and gets pulled over by a local policeman. Guy hands the cop his driver’s license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit.

    “Okay, Mr. Smith,” the cop says, “I see your CCW permit. Are you carrying today?”

    “Yes, I am.”

    “Well then, better tell me what you got.”

    Smith says, “Well, I got a .357 revolver in my inside coat pocket. There’s a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box. And, I’ve got a .22 magnum derringer in my right boot.”

    “Okay,” the cop says. “Anything else?”

    “Yeah, back in the trunk, there’s an AR15 and a shotgun. That’s about it.”

    “Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range…?”


    “Well then, what are you afraid of…?”

    “Not a **** thing…”

  27. notamobster says:

    They said something about a bra or something…I didn’t see that but I wanted to point out the accent of the model. Quite impressive.

  28. notamobster says:

    New Google Chrome OS leading the charge to further clog the broadband infrastructure in this country. I like the idea of not having a hard drive to contend with, but I blush at the thought of all of my personal shit being saved offsite where it can be accessed by who ever wants it.

  29. sortahwitte says:

    The model talked?

    I seem to have been in a trance as the twins did that voodoo that you do so well. Well, not actually you. I meant the woman’s breasts. Did anyone else feel like the twins were talking directly to themselves? When we meet in Memphis, I’ll tell what they said to me.

  30. Bman says:

    Well, she’s no Mama Cass, but she’ll do. Right, Sorta? 😉

  31. TN-cat says:

    Not to appear dense or out of touch, is the Memphis meet up for writers only?

  32. R.D. Walker says:

    No, TN-cat, it is for you too! It is for every Revoista and we hope you can come. It will be Cinco de Mayo in Memphis and we will be there 5,6 and 7 with the main meet up on the 7th.

    You have reminded me that I need to do another update post. Future posts on the meet up will be password protected so I will be emailing out the password shortly.

    It is going to be a lot of fun. Anybody who didn’t make the cut, email me at for more info. Let me know your handle when you email me so I can check it against your usual IP…

  33. TN_Cat says:

    Thanks RD, I am so looking forward to meeting the REVO crew.

  34. Jim22 says:


    My IP’s might cause some confusion. Mrs. Jim22 and I are looking forward to it. Also Marcia. Ask LnL.

  35. R.D. Walker says:

    I know you by email address Jim. Once I confirm your email, I don’t your IP again. I only need to look at your IP once in other words. So no problem…

  36. sortahwitte says:

    Bman, nobody is like Mamma Cass. And yes, the diamond babe will certainly do. And I do like the way she talks. Back in the old days just after WWI(the Big War and the War to End all Wars) we would have called her voice “musical”.

  37. Bman says:

    To go along with the Russian Trololo sing along, more hip music for dorks…

  38. Locke n Load says:

    Gun toting Santa Pisses off Lefturd in Turlock.
    Appears he came to his senses and put it back up!
    Enjoy the comment section 🙂 HoHoHo

    You may now resume your normal programming.

  39. notamobster says:

    This sick fuck needs a rope-swing to play on:

    HuffPo writer and Palin-Hating, liberal Columbia University Professor David Epstein arrested and charged with incest for having a 3yr sexual relationship with his 24 yr old daughter.

    Oh, and he said: “Republicans are … taking hypocrisy in their personal lives to new levels of self-indulgent weirdness.”

    Projecting much?

    As one could expect, the freaks at huffpo and kos are defending this prick!

  40. R.D. Walker says:

    Nota: Just another day reporting on our moral and intellectual betters, huh?

    Down the memory hole we go to the summer of 2009. Epstein: Palin Proves Voters Were Right in 2008

    The most disturbing aspect of that article? He mentions the existence of a nine year old daughter.

  41. notamobster says:

    Yep. This 24 year old has (most likely) been suffering abuse at his hands for 20+ years. That poor, poor girl. The younger one hopefully will be able to have an incest free life.

    Sick fuck.

  42. BrunDawg says:

    Residents flee New York, Illinois.
    But…but…who’s going to pay the taxes?
    Is it too early to start coining terms like micro-civil-wars?

  43. Locke n Load says:

    damn. iowa is a grey wet mess today…oh look, exit 246

  44. R.D. Walker says:

    You ain’t kidding, Hoss. That wet is about to become ice as the temps drop to below zero and the winds kick up. All of eastern Iowa is under a blizzard warning for tonight and all day Sunday.

    When we went in the Walmart, it was wet. When we came out it was slicker than hell. It is just going to get worse. Keep moving if you can.

  45. Locke n Load says:

    ok, now i’ve heard it all..
    a polka version of “Must be Santa Claus”!
    awesome. Again, thanks Mr and Mrs 22 for this wacky XM

  46. Locke n Load says:

    dude, just drove thru a fog bank and it froze to my WS. this is goona suck, i have to make it to western Neb before shutting down

  47. R.D. Walker says:

    Well, buddy, you are about to hit the shit hard. Good luck and be careful. It is going to be harsh.

    Hell, I’d come see you at exit 246 (N Dodge St in Iowa City) but I ain’t leaving the house until church tomorrow.

  48. Locke n Load says:

    fire up the oven, find the mixmaster, and get to making cookies with your pint sized economist. gonna be a perfect nite for cocoa and cookies by the fireplace

  49. Bman says:

    Calling for -20 here tonight and much colder with windchill. Its 4:45 and already -5. Im getting Pabst, a new extension cord for my block heater, and stuff to make cookies. Not leaving the house again after I get back.

  50. notamobster says:

    The river in front of my house is frozen over. Has been for a week. Damn that global warming! (usually not frozen tile january…gonna be a long, bitter-cold winter)… 🙂

  51. Locke n Load says:

    i’m headed into the business end of a snow hurricane, wheeeee

  52. Locke n Load says:

    Well, it’s official. Every escape route around the blizzard has been cut off, shut down, or made impassable. Even the southern route looked too risky.

    This is a first in my 6 years driving. I’ve never slept in the middle of a hwy before! I80, you officially SUCK.

  53. Locke n Load says:

    Oh bite me 😉
    Our proposed detour wouldn’t have worked out too well btw. I hailed a few drivers and word was coming back it was going to be just as bad there. Tell ya what, I’d rather be screwed up here where at least the road is going to be patrolled by wreckers, etc. I’m actually pretty near one of those fancy WiFi rest areas you might be familiar with 🙂

    I really appreciate the headsup RD but really, rt 34 would have been flat out dangerous if even a fraction of this were hitting it. These are 50+ mph winds. Like I told you, THATS the shit that takes trucks off the road.

  54. Locke n Load says:

    For all you snowboound hanyaks..
    a couple traditional seasonal tunes..

  55. notamobster says:

    Sweet collapse.

    It’s a metaphor for our country. The dome (US) is pretty and clean and warm…but the snow (debt) is piling up on us. The snow is already leaking and causing problems, but sooner-or-later, it will all come crushing down upon us unless we can start shoveling off some of our debt.

    When that happens to the highly taxpayer subsidized dome, there will be no more bread for the families of those who work there, and no more circuses for those families to watch. The Chinese and the Mexicans will come in to clean up the mess.


    the Dyatlov story: very weird and eerie stuff on it’s surface, but all very-handily explained by science in the comment section. Very weird though. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks.

  56. Slaphappypap says:

    Locke, Thank God you got out of Illinois when you did. It’s windy and white here.

  57. Locke n Load says:

    No shit Slap, i was trying my damndest to race into the teeth of it before nightfall but probably left an hour too late. I80 in Iowa wasn’t so much a large snowfall as ferocious winds and whiteouts. Wind gusts over 50mph can lift a light trailer off the ground and drop it several feet away causing jacknifes. Those poor FedEx guys driving Doubles are particularly susceptible. I must have seen a half dozen thrown into the median or worse last night. That Btw, is why I abandoned the southern route RD. Crushing winds and a 2 lane road is a recipe for a headon collison. I’m not going to risk anyone elses life just to make time.

  58. Locke n Load says:

    About that Superdome video…

    Am I the only one who thought it looks like a giant ovipositor? VERY cool.

  59. Jim22 says:

    Atlanta Tower: “Saudi Air 511 — You are cleared to land on
    runway 9R.”

    Saudi Air: “Thank you Atlanta .. Acknowledge cleared to land on
    infidel’s runway 9R – Allah be Praised.”

    Atlanta Tower: ” Iran Air 711 – You are cleared to land on runway 27L.”

    Iran Air: “Thank you Atlanta .. We are cleared to land on infidel’s
    runway 27L. -Allah is Great.”


    Atlanta Tower: “Go ahead Saudi Air 511..”


    Atlanta Tower: “Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus.
    Y’all go on ahead now and tell Allah “hey” for us.”

  60. Jim22 says:

    Public Money Is Not Yours To Give:

    Col. David Crockett, US Representative from Tennessee

    The following was originally published in “The Life of Colonel David Crockett,” by Edward Sylvester Ellis.

    One day in the House of Representatives a bill was taken up appropriating money for the benefit of a widow of a distinguished naval officer. Several beautiful speeches had been made in its support. The Speaker was just about to put the question to a vote when Crockett arose:

    “Mr. Speaker – I have as much respect for the memory of the deceased, and as much sympathy for the sufferings of the living, if suffering there be, as any man in this House, but we must not permit our respect for the dead or our sympathy for a part of the living to lead us into an act of injustice to the balance of the living. I will not go into an argument to prove that Congress has not the power to appropriate this money as an act of charity. Every member upon this floor knows it. We have the right, as individuals, to give away as much of our own money as we please in charity; but as members of Congress we have no right so to appropriate a dollar of the public money. Some eloquent appeals have been made to us upon the ground that it is a debt due the deceased. Mr. Speaker, the deceased lived long after the close of the war; he was in office to the day of his death, and I have never heard that the government was in arrears to him.

    “Every man in this House knows it is not a debt. We cannot, without the grossest corruption, appropriate this money as the payment of a debt. We have not the semblance of authority to appropriate it as charity. Mr. Speaker, I have said we have the right to give as much money of our own as we please. I am the poorest man on this floor. I cannot vote for this bill, but I will give one week’s pay to the object, and if every member of Congress will do the same, it will amount to more than the bill asks.”

    He took his seat. Nobody replied. The bill was put upon its passage, and, instead of passing unanimously, as was generally supposed, and as, no doubt, it would, but for that speech, it received but few votes, and, of course, was lost.

    Later, when asked by a friend why he had opposed the appropriation, Crockett gave this explanation:

    “Several years ago I was one evening standing on the steps of the Capitol with some other members of Congress, when our attention was attracted by a great light over in Georgetown. It was evidently a large fire. We jumped into a hack and drove over as fast as we could. In spite of all that could be done, many houses were burned and many families made houseless, and, besides, some of them had lost all but the clothes they had on. The weather was very cold, and when I saw so many women and children suffering, I felt that something ought to be done for them. The next morning a bill was introduced appropriating $20,000 for their relief. We put aside all other business and rushed it through as soon as it could be done.

    “The next summer, when it began to be time to think about election, I concluded I would take a scout around among the boys of my district. I had no opposition there, but, as the election was some time off, I did not know what might turn up. When riding one day in a part of my district in which I was more of a stranger than any other, I saw a man in a field plowing and coming toward the road. I gauged my gait so that we should meet as he came to the fence. As he came up, I spoke to the man. He replied politely, but, as I thought, rather coldly.

    “I began: ‘Well, friend, I am one of those unfortunate beings called candidates, and – -‘

    “Yes I know you; you are Colonel Crockett. I have seen you once before, and voted for you the last time you were elected. I suppose you are out electioneering now, but you had better not waste your time or mine, I shall not vote for you again.”

    “This was a sockdolager…I begged him to tell me what was the matter. ” ’Well, Colonel, it is hardly worth-while to waste time or words upon it. I do not see how it can be mended, but you gave a vote last winter which shows that either you have not capacity to understand the Constitution, or that you are wanting in the honesty and firmness to be guided by it. In either case you are not the man to represent me. But I beg your pardon for expressing it in that way. I did not intend to avail myself of the privilege of the constituent to speak plainly to a candidate for the purpose of insulting or wounding you. I intend by it only to say that your understanding of the Constitution is very different from mine; and I will say to you what, but for my rudeness, I should not have said, that I believe you to be honest.

    …But an understanding of the Constitution different from mine I cannot overlook, because the Constitution, to be worth anything, must be held sacred, and rigidly observed in all its provisions. The man who wields power and misinterprets it is the more dangerous the more honest he is.’

    ” ‘I admit the truth of all you say, but there must be some mistake about it, for I do not remember that I gave any vote last winter upon any constitutional question.’

    “ ‘No, Colonel, there’s no mistake. Though I live in the backwoods and seldom go from home, I take the papers from Washington and read very carefully all the proceedings of Congress. My papers say that last winter you voted for a bill to appropriate $20,000 to some sufferers by a fire in Georgetown. Is that true?’

    ” ‘Well, my friend; I may as well own up. You have got me there. But certainly nobody will complain that a great and rich country like ours should give the insignificant sum of $20,000 to relieve its suffering women and children, particularly with a full and overflowing Treasury, and I am sure, if you had been there, you would have done just as I did.’

    ” ‘It is not the amount, Colonel, that I complain of; it is the principle. In the first place, the government ought to have in the Treasury no more than enough for its legitimate purposes. But that has nothing with the question. The power of collecting and disbursing money at pleasure is the most dangerous power that can be entrusted to man, particularly under our system of collecting revenue by a tariff, which reaches every man in the country, no matter how poor he may be, and the poorer he is the more he pays in proportion to his means. What is worse, it presses upon him without his knowledge where the weight centers, for there is not a man in the United States who can ever guess how much he pays to the government. So you see, that while you are contributing to relieve one, you are drawing it from thousands who are even worse off than he. If you had the right to give anything, the amount was simply a matter of discretion with you, and you had as much right to give $20,000,000 as $20,000. If you have the right to give to one, you have the right to give to all; and, as the Constitution neither defines charity nor stipulates the amount, you are at liberty to give to any and everything which you may believe, or profess to believe, is a charity, and to any amount you may think proper. You will very easily perceive what a wide door this would open for fraud and corruption and favoritism, on the one hand, and for robbing the people on the other. ‘No, Colonel, Congress has no right to give charity. Individual members may give as much of their own money as they please, but they have no right to touch a dollar of the public money for that purpose. If twice as many houses had been burned in this county as in Georgetown, neither you nor any other member of Congress would have thought of appropriating a dollar for our relief. There are about two hundred and forty members of Congress. If they had shown their sympathy for the sufferers by contributing each one week’s pay, it would have made over $13,000. There are plenty of wealthy men in and around Washington who could have given $20,000 without depriving themselves of even a luxury of life.’ “The congressmen chose to keep their own money, which, if reports be true, some of them spend not very creditably; and the people about Washington, no doubt, applauded you for relieving them from the necessity of giving by giving what was not yours to give. The people have delegated to Congress, by the Constitution, the power to do certain things. To do these, it is authorized to collect and pay moneys, and for nothing else. Everything beyond this is usurpation, and a violation of the Constitution.’

    ” ‘So you see, Colonel, you have violated the Constitution in what I consider a vital point. It is a precedent fraught with danger to the country, for when Congress once begins to stretch its power beyond the limits of the Constitution, there is no limit to it, and no security for the people. I have no doubt you acted honestly, but that does not make it any better, except as far as you are personally concerned, and you see that I cannot vote for you.’

    “I tell you I felt streaked. I saw if I should have opposition, and this man should go to talking, he would set others to talking, and in that district I was a gone fawn-skin. I could not answer him, and the fact is, I was so fully convinced that he was right, I did not want to. But I must satisfy him, and I said to him:

    ” ‘Well, my friend, you hit the nail upon the head when you said I had not sense enough to understand the Constitution. I intended to be guided by it, and thought I had studied it fully. I have heard many speeches in Congress about the powers of Congress, but what you have said here at your plow has got more hard, sound sense in it than all the fine speeches I ever heard. If I had ever taken the view of it that you have, I would have put my head into the fire before I would have given that vote; and if you will forgive me and vote for me again, if I ever vote for another unconstitutional law I wish I may be shot.’

    “He laughingly replied; ‘Yes, Colonel, you have sworn to that once before, but I will trust you again upon one condition. You say that youare convinced that your vote was wrong. Your acknowledgment of it will do more good than beating you for it. If, as you go around the district, you will tell people about this vote, and that you are satisfied it was wrong, I will not only vote for you, but will do what I can to keep down opposition, and, perhaps, I may exert some little influence in that way.’

    ” ‘If I don’t’, said I, ‘I wish I may be shot; and to convince you that I am in earnest in what I say I will come back this way in a week or ten days, and if you will get up a gathering of the people, I will make a speech to them. Get up a barbecue, and I will pay for it.’

    ” ‘No, Colonel, we are not rich people in this section, but we have plenty of provisions to contribute for a barbecue, and some to spare for those who have none. The push of crops will be over in a few days, and we can then afford a day for a barbecue. This is Thursday; I will see to getting it up on Saturday week. Come to my house on Friday, and we will go together, and I promise you a very respectable crowd to see and hear you.’

    ” ‘Well, I will be here. But one thing more before I say good-bye. I must know your name.’

    ” ‘My name is Bunce.’

    ” ‘Not Horatio Bunce?’

    ” ‘Yes.’

    ” ‘Well, Mr. Bunce, I never saw you before, though you say you have seen me, but I know you very well. I am glad I have met you, and very proud that I may hope to have you for my friend.’

    “It was one of the luckiest hits of my life that I met him. He mingled but little with the public, but was widely known for his remarkable intelligence and incorruptible integrity, and for a heart brimful and running over with kindness and benevolence, which showed themselves not only in words but in acts. He was the oracle of the whole country around him, and his fame had extended far beyond the circle of his immediate acquaintance. Though I had never met him, before, I had heard much of him, and but for this meeting it is very likely I should have had opposition, and had been beaten. One thing is very certain, no man could now stand up in that district under such a vote.

    “At the appointed time I was at his house, having told our conversation to every crowd I had met, and to every man I stayed all night with, and I found that it gave the people an interest and a confidence in me stronger than I had ever seen manifested before.

    “Though I was considerably fatigued when I reached his house, and, under ordinary circumstances, should have gone early to bed, I kept him up until midnight, talking about the principles and affairs of government, and got more real, true knowledge of them than I had got all my life before.

    “I have known and seen much of him since, for I respect him – no, that is not the word – I reverence and love him more than any living man, and I go to see him two or three times every year; and I will tell you, sir, if every one who professes to be a Christian lived and acted and enjoyed it as he does, the religion of Christ would take the world by storm.

    “But to return to my story. The next morning we went to the barbecue, and, to my surprise, found about a thousand men there. I met a good many whom I had not known before, and they and my friend introduced me around until I had got pretty well acquainted – at least, they all knew me.

    “In due time notice was given that I would speak to them. They gathered up around a stand that had been erected. I opened my speech by saying:

    ” ‘Fellow-citizens – I present myself before you today feeling like a new man. My eyes have lately been opened to truths which ignorance or prejudice, or both, had heretofore hidden from my view. I feel that I can today offer you the ability to render you more valuable service than I have ever been able to render before. I am here today more for the purpose of acknowledging my error than to seek your votes. That I should make this acknowledgment is due to myself as well as to you. Whether you will vote for me is a matter for your consideration only.’”

    “I went on to tell them about the fire and my vote for the appropriation and then told them why I was satisfied it was wrong. I closed by saying:

    ” ‘And now, fellow-citizens, it remains only for me to tell you that the most of the speech you have listened to with so much interest was simply a repetition of the arguments by which your neighbor, Mr. Bunce, convinced me of my error.

    ” ‘It is the best speech I ever made in my life, but he is entitled to the credit for it. And now I hope he is satisfied with his convert and that he will get up here and tell you so.’

    “He came upon the stand and said:

    ” ‘Fellow-citizens – It affords me great pleasure to comply with the request of Colonel Crockett. I have always considered him a thoroughly honest man, and I am satisfied that he will faithfully perform all that he has promised you today.’

    “He went down, and there went up from that crowd such a shout for Davy Crockett as his name never called forth before.’

    “I am not much given to tears, but I was taken with a choking then and felt some big drops rolling down my cheeks. And I tell you now that the remembrance of those few words spoken by such a man, and the honest, hearty shout they produced, is worth more to me than all the honors I have received and all the reputation I have ever made, or ever shall make, as a member of Congress.’

    “Now, sir,” concluded Crockett, “you know why I made that speech yesterday.

    “There is one thing now to which I will call your attention. You remember that I proposed to give a week’s pay. There are in that House many very wealthy men – men who think nothing of spending a week’s pay, or a dozen of them, for a dinner or a wine party when they have something to accomplish by it. Some of those same men made beautiful speeches upon the great debt of gratitude which the country owed the deceased – a debt which could not be paid by money – and the insignificance and worthlessness of money, particularly so insignificant a sum as $10,000, when weighed against the honor of the nation. Yet not one of them responded to my proposition. Money with them is nothing but trash when it is to come out of the people. But it is the one great thing for which most of them are striving, and many of them sacrifice honor, integrity, and justice to obtain it.”

  61. R.D. Walker says:

    Locke: I was merely reporting to you the road conditions off the IDOT website. You clearly know your business better than I do. Glad you made it through intact.

  62. TN-cat says:

    Thanks for posting the Cricket story. Doesn’t surprise me one bit in regards to Vince. 1 a farmer and 2 from Tennessee. The Nashville floods should be a lesson to all on how a community should act during a time of crisis.

  63. TN-cat says:

    I hate the auto spell. Crocket and Bunce. Sorry.

  64. R.D. Walker says:

    The answer to this mystery is obvious, Scooby. James Carville is from Louisiana. It is obviously him. Duh.

    Check it out. It is obvious.

  65. notamobster says:

    Weird pic.

    Berwick (next to where I just moved from) and Baton Rouge are separated by the Atchafalaya Basin (gynormous swamp)and hours of travel.

  66. R.D. Walker says:

    I am guessing this is a viral video released by the good folks who manufacture and market game cameras.

  67. sortahwitte says:

    I would consider it to be related to carville, but it’s obviously much smarter. It’s not wearing a tie to accentuate it’s pinhead.

  68. notamobster says:

    That made my adrenaline spike just watching it . . .

  69. 95 FLTC says:

    Thanks for the Crockett story…that’s the one I was trying to find for another thread here…thank you very much.

  70. Locke n Load says:

    Wow Jim. That was a great story about a great man. Thats the very first I’d ever read it.
    Thank you.

  71. Jim22 says:

    I almost didn’t post it because of the length. And the direct quotes prohibition. I have to say, though, that the website authorizes the use of any of its stuff as long as they get credit and it’s not changed to alter the meaning.

    Follow the link. It’s worth it.

  72. Locke n Load says:

    211 years ago was George Washington’s last night on earth. imagine what was going through HIS mind…

    OK, gotta bail. Connection so bad out here in bumf**k Idaho it took 5 minutes to load this page.

  73. sortahwitte says:

    Thanks, Jim. Those were the kinds of people we used to call statesmen and patriots.

    And we have come to this.

  74. R.D. Walker says:

    I spent my day dealing with petty bureaucrats at the state and federal levels. These are people who control the taxes we pay and force us to perform little dances on cue as we attempt to scrape them back for our communities. They possess a combination of uselessness and arrogance that drives me to distraction. I wish I could tell you more. There will be a day when I tell all.

  75. TN-cat says:

    God bless you R.D. Don’t you find it amazing that we pay them for the abuse?

  76. R.D. Walker says:

    I am keeping notes, TN-cat. The day will come when I can tell the tale of my absurd adventures in the world where everything is nonsense and nothing is what it is, because everything is what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?

  77. notamobster says:

    The Real Distance Walker’s Guide to Wonderland . . .

  78. R.D. Walker says:

    I’ll tell you one thing, Nota. The White Knight is definitely talking fucking backwards.

  79. R.D. Walker says:

    According to Fox News, Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson said they are separating after just two years of marriage.

    You know, if these two people are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?

    I’m just sayin’…

  80. notamobster says:

    This looks like something my little brother would make on his laptop. Pretty neat.

  81. Bman says:

    Hold on one minute there. 25 years of sexy? And they have a picture of Conan O’Brien on the front cover? Oh yea, there is hope.

  82. Slaphappypap says:

    Chicago Tea Party Christmas Party attacked at bar in the loop.

    Last Friday we held our downtown Christmas Party at Dugan’s Irish Pub.

    We had a great crowd and the bar was filled with Christmas cheer until smoke began to fill the entire venue.

    At approximately 8 p.m. the Chicago Fire Department were called to the bar to put out what was a very smoked filled bar.

    After waiting outside for nearly an hour, we were told that the bar was closed for the night and we were asked to gather our belongings. The was soot covered all over the bar and smoke tripping out of its windows and doors for over and hour. Many people had difficulty breathing and we were only able to see approximately 6 feet ahead of us. Four small dynamite looking devices found in the men’s bathroom, smoldering in the trash can.

    Written on the lid of one of the toliets were: F*CK THE TEA PARTY!

    Bomb and arson officials have deemed this incident an arson.

    Luckily, nobody was hurt, however, the good people of Dugan’s lost an awful lot of money.

    Police are investigating and we are not going away.

    Look for us to have a ONE-MORE-TIME! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW PARTY in Chicago’s Loop after the New Year!


    This Chicago Machine which we are fighting is trying to take us out, but we will not go down silenced. We will use every last breath fighting against the evilness which it is!!

    To the dozens who came out to Dugan’s, I am so sorry for all this trouble. There are some very hateful people in this world and they will do whatever necessary to stop those who are fighting for freedom!

    And we hope those who came out and those who were unable to make Friday’s event, join us after the New Year!!

    Thank you for your faith and support! You are the heart and soul of the tea party movement; without you, socializm would rule!

    God bless you and your families during this Christmas Season!


  83. notamobster says:

    Gibbsy says congress will stay up all night reading the omnibus spending bill – gets laughed at by press corps.

  84. Jim22 says:

    AUGUSTA, Ga. –

    Best Buy sales manager Orvin Smith told The Augusta Chronicle that a man was seen on surveillance cameras Friday putting a laptop computer under his jacket at the Augusta store.

    When confronted, the man became irate, knocked down an employee, pulled a knife and ran toward the door. Outside were four Marines collecting toys for the service branch’s “Toys For Tots” program.

    Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of them, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back. The cut did not appear to be severe.

    The suspect was transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken leg, possible broken ribs, shattered teeth and jaw, assorted lacerations and bruises he obtained when he “fell” trying to escape after stabbing the Marine collecting the Toys for Tots.

    The suspect, whose name was not released, was held until police arrived. The Richmond County Sheriff’s office said it is grateful for the assistance and will not be investigating the unfortunate “fall” the perpetrator took while trying to escape.

  85. Locke n Load says:

    Damn. Thats some dangerous sidewalk. Good thing the marines were there to help him up..

  86. notamobster says:

    Red Dawn Citizen Alert Poster:

    The movie is indefinitely postponed due to MGM “financial trouble”. Conveniently, the ChiComms were none too pleased with the idea of an anti-ChiComm feature film…

    sweet agitprop posters:

  87. R. D. Walker says:

    I was dreading the new Red Dawn anyway. I am just certain they will screw it up.

  88. notamobster says:

    I have been wanting to see it just because Red Dawn is in my top five favorite movies ever. You CAN’T remake Swayze so this one can’t possibly be as good.

  89. R. D. Walker says:

    Remember Hot Lips Houlihan? She was a great character in the early years of MASH. She was just nasty and you loved to hate her. Then they started giving her a depth of character. A human side. More dimension. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

    Sometimes we just want our bad guys to be bad and our good guys to be good. We don’t want to explore the dark side of our heroes and the human side to the villains. We don’t want a morality play.

    I think people like movies like Titanic because the heroes are good all the way to the core and villains are rotten to the core. To often modern movie makers want to show us the complexity of heroes and villains. They think it will be more interesting if they give villains a heroic side and heroes a villainous side. Maybe, but 9 times out of 10, it just screws up a good story.

    I fear they will do this to Red Dawn. I don’t need a morality play where heroes struggle with their demons and we are taught that are enemies are, really, just like us.

    Screw that. I want killing, battles and victory,.