Off Topic

This off topic thread brought to you by your wife; say no more.

Previous off topic threads

69 Responses to Off Topic

  1. Bman says:

    Ok..this is for all the bastards who think have been cold…As of right now, without windchill, ity -22F. You sumbitchis in FLA; Kiss my ass……..I got two cats that will keep me warm; Hannah and Tuna.

  2. Bman says:

    Was drunker than a Pollack on payday when I wrote that. My apologies

  3. notamobster says:

    Got this in an email from a friend. It’s my wuote for the day:

    “Profanity is the inevitable linguistic crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker.”

  4. notamobster says:

    Nothing says prole trying (poorly) to ape the uppers than scotch in a can. It’s almost like champagne of beers… Wow, I wonder what grade of industrial waste they poured into that thing. Very rare blend, indeed.

  5. Bman says:

    Whisky in a can…Sounds refreshing

  6. MadBrad says:

    Many of us here take comfort in the fact that certain foods have a long shelf life and having plenty of these foods on hand help insure survival during hard times. I am a known hoarder of dried beans and rice. I recently purchased a medium sized bag of Red Beans to go with my next big batch of soup. Then I noticed that I had a bag on the shelf… with an expiration date of July 1999.

    Because they looked as good as the day I bought ’em I decided to soak ’em on down and see what they are made of. Apparently they are made out of whatever is inside a goats ass because they taste so horrible that a goats ass might be exactly where they came from. They moral of the story? Whatever you had on hand to face the deadly effects of Y2K will probably not be sufficient to get you through the Zombie Pockeelypse unless you like the taste of Goats Ass.

    My next adventure in antique cuisine will be Mackerel Croquettes made with canned Mackerel purchased in December 1999. Love that vintage Fish.

  7. R.D. Walker says:

    Goats ass beans…mmmmmmmmmm.

    • R.D. Walker says:

      I am very disappointed with this product. While it does relieve hairballs, it tastes nothing like caviar.

  8. notamobster says:

    Brad – canned foods are the way to go if you’re not buying MRE’s (ex-pen-sive) or dehydrated foods. Otherwise you have to cycle through the foods on a regular basis. If you like mackeral, and it’s in a can, it should still be good.

    MRE’s in a temperate climate will store for decades. C-rats are the same. If you can get your hands on some old c-rats, you’ll be in hog heaven when the zombie pockeelips comes. Each one has a pack of smokes…. great bartering tool.

  9. notamobster says:

    I wouldn’t buy a product endorsed by Paris Hilton unless it did something she knows about, like…..cured gonnorhea.

  10. R.D. Walker says:

    I hear you, but something about this is just enticing. Like Brad says, the Devil follows us everywhere.

    Stupid evolutionary genetic hard coding!

    Hell, I’ll try one.

  11. notamobster says:

    Yep. Never seen her like that. All I ever see of her is the emaciated, crackwhore version. That does look like a good drink.

  12. Slaphappypap says:

    Work was offering me the option to take 12 hour days Sat, Sun and Mon. The hours are from 5:30am to 6pm. Four days off??? If they call me in during the week it’s all OT. What do you guys think?

  13. notamobster says:

    It’s a no-brainer for me. It offers unparalelled time off with the wife. I’d do it. When I was at Delta, I worked 4 – 10’s. Every 6 weeks the days off backed up to each other so I had 6 days in a row off. I loved it.

  14. R.D. Walker says:

    I suppose it depends on how exhausting your work is. If it isn’t very physically or mentally taxing, I would do it. I sure wouldn’t want to do manual labor 12 hours a day, however. I did it when I was an infantryman. It is part of the reason I am no longer an infantryman.

  15. notamobster says:

    I’m going to turn this one into a full post, but here’s some good info on long-term food storage options.

  16. R.D. Walker says:

    This ad always makes me want to go get one of those Spicy BBQ burgers too.

    Strangely, after I eat it I want to stick my finger down by throat and puke it up… just like Paris doubtlessly did after filming this ad.

  17. Slaphappypap says:

    This wouldn’t be that exhausting. It’s just counting material. I’m really starting not to care about weekends anymore. My wife on the other hand does. Even though she works on the weekends.

  18. R.D. Walker says:

    I would LOVE to have four days off every week.

  19. MadBrad says:

    Proseco out of a can! Yum-yum! I wonder how much one of those cost. The Proseco that is.

    Pap, the weekends are meaningless if you can’t do what you want anyway due to lack of funds. Years ago I did Home Depot part time as well as a full time job. I was living with an extremely mean woman at the time so the extra paycheck was a real bonus to go along with the escape. Of course I realize that is not the case with you. If the money is good that is real important nowadays.

  20. Slaphappypap says:

    The money is good. I kill all my bills a month ahead of time. It’s just easier. I just figure that the less time I’m working and at home it would be better.

  21. sortahwitte says:

    paris hilton reminds me of the high school pump. Nice eye candy, but you should look at her with binoculars. I don’t want any part of me within a mile of her.

  22. TN_Cat says:

    Very interesting post on Big Peace now. Looks like Caracus may be a hot spot tomorrow.

  23. notamobster says:

    I saw that and thought about turning it into a post. Wasn’t sure if anyone would care.

    The writing was odd and discombobulated.

  24. TN_Cat says:

    We talked about the possible civil war there last month. Interesting that so many American cities are on the list for support protests.

  25. TN_Cat says:

    I don’t think Chaves is going to take too kindly to the protest. Wonder how much news is going to make it out of the country.

  26. R.D. Walker says:

    Okay Encyclopedia Brown, there is an aspect of this story about a boat sailing from Guam that raises questions.

    A Philippine coast guard ship off southern island of Dinagat finds five Americans who were reported missing on Jan. 6 after their sailboat experienced engine trouble.

    You know, Magellan sailed around the world, including from Guam to the Philippines, without any engines at all. That is the nature of sailboats.

  27. R.D. Walker says:

    Remember the term “running dogs?”

    Running dog is a literal translation into English of the Chinese/Korean communist pejorative, 走狗 ‘zǒu gǒu’, meaning lackey. It is derived from the eagerness with which a dog will respond when called by its owner, even for mere scraps.

    Gearing up for the sycophantic mainstream media’s slavish support for Obama in the 2012 campaign, I think we should start calling the MSM the “running dog media.”

    In fact, let’s put that in the Real Revo suggested style guide. It is perfect: The Running Dog Media.

  28. notamobster says:

    I second that name. Sounds good.

  29. TN_Cat says:

    That is perfect RD. Now we need the Chinese translation for “on leash, with muzzle”

  30. R.D. Walker says:

    “Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty.

    This is known as ‘bad luck.'”

    ~Robert Heinlein

  31. locke n load says:

    Wait a minute, who the hell remembers Encyclopedia Brown? Wtf IS it with you RD? Have you somehow gotten your hands on my grade school goof-off reading list? Go ahead, tell me you had a copy of the “How and Why” series as well. Something tells me you must have…

  32. Bman says:

    Forgive me…I dont mean to turn this into a “Hints from Heloise”, but if anyone is willing to give advice on how a guy gets over a woman that he loves and moves on, please share. A “womans touch” (sensitivity) in this matter would be appreciated. If anyone is willing to tackle this issue, please, help a guy out.

  33. R.D. Walker says:

    How long were you together? Divide that period by two. That is how long it takes to move on.

    A brand new girlfriend eases the symptoms.

  34. Jim22 says:

    RE the sailboat story, The photo caption:

    “Jan. 23: American occupants are seen on board 38-foot catamaran The Pineapple as they wait to be rescued off the southern island of Dinagat, Philippines, in this image made from video and released by the Philippine coast guard.”

    ‘Wait to be rescued? Whoever wrote that caption has not read the accompanying story. Those people sailed their sailboat to where they are. They can sail it further.

    If they are taken off the boat it becomes abandoned and anyone can claim it. That boat is worth a lot to its owner. I’ll bet he will not abandon it.

  35. R.D. Walker says:

    Gonna be quiet around here during the day now that Notamobster is back in the rat race.

  36. R.D. Walker says:

    Locke: Are you kidding? My grandma was a 4th grade teacher. I had them all! This was my favorite.

  37. vanagram says:

    I’ll bet you 100 rubles this was a Tea Partier. That or an Islamic Fundamentalist.

    Nope, I’m going with Tea partier….

  38. vanagram says:

    Crap. Looks like I lose…

    “The Kremlin is struggling to contain an Islamist insurgency in the mainly Muslim North Caucasus, and rebels have repeatedly vowed they will take their battle to the Russian heartland.”


    “Harsh rhetoric from the right, widely believed to originate from Sarah Palin, is thought to have contributed to the bombing.”

  39. TN_Cat says:

    A lot of us out here feel your pain buddy and each of us have our own story and outcome. From my own experience, I will share this.
    You can’t change how this lady feels. Don’t try to change and become the man she wants you to be. Instead focus on being the best man you can be. If that man is not the one this lady feels for, that is her loss. There is a lady out there that will want to be with the real you.
    Sorry, that is as “sensitive” as I get.

  40. R.D. Walker says:


  41. Van-a-gram says:

    RD will scold me for this as it tip-toes on one his rather arbitrary ‘rules’ but what the hell. I thought it was funny….,18907/

  42. Bman says:

    🙂 Thanks guys. I feel much better today. Was in pansie mode for 18 hours…not too bad. Thanks TN Cat- Thanks RD-

    On a lighter note- Confucius say, always unplug block heater before leaving driveway…

  43. BrunDawg says:

    Bman – I’ve always been partial to the F-you song that vanagram posted last year.

  44. MadBrad says:

    BMan, until I can elaborate further you should read Genesis 3:15 and it will help with some understanding.

    Many people are known for putting a scripture verse at the end of their e-mails. This is the onme I chose. My customers get a real kick out of it.

  45. Bman says:

    Brad- I remember you writing about genesis 3:15 a year ago or so. Good stuff.

  46. notamobster says:

    Bman- I only lost one woman that bothered me, and it was cuz she had my two daughters. I actually left her, because she was a raving lunatic bitch. Sorry, no help from me.

    I’m pretty sure if my wife now, left me…I’d be in the crapper emotionally for quite some time.

  47. notamobster says:

    Home from work. Wow. It’s alot to learn, in a short span. I’m on days this week and they’re throwing me to the wolves on second shift starting next Monday. I’m sure I’ll be fine, it’s just an information overload.

  48. notamobster says:

    My posting will be light this week, but should go back to normal next week. I’ll have my days free til 1330.

  49. MadBrad says:

    Phew, for a minute there I thought Nota was going to lead me on publications.

    BMan, it’s amazing that no matter how many times a woman rips out your heart and stomps on it the damn thing never goes numb. Every time it happens it’s a new adventure in pain. Even when you might not be in Love and maybe have misgivings about the relationship, usually when it comes to an end it isn’t pleasant. It hurts. It makes you wonder why you bother to take the chance to get to know somebody, romantically speaking.

    I’ve been through this too many times and yet STILL I’m taking a girl out on a date right close to Valentines Day. It’s kind of special. Florida Championship Wrestling ( a WWE developmental territorial promotion) is having a big show in Gainesville on February 11th, featuring an extensive meet and greet with WWE Hall of Famer “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes. As I was mentioning this event at work a girl I work with told me about a show she went to in the old Jacksonville Coliseum when she was pregnant with her first child. As Don Muraco was making his way to the ring and taunting the crowd he decided to spit on one of her Cousins. Janice went berserk and though she was pregnant she jumped the railing and went after Don Muraco. It was at that moment that I realized that though I have been alone for a while now, THIS Valentines Day weekend won’t be like the one in 2010, a time when I was getting my heart ripped out and stomped on. In the blink of an eye things turned around.

    All you have to do is remember Genesis 3:15 and the words a young Federal Prison Inmate once told me when he got a nasty letter from his girlfriend; “Women are like boogers, you can always pick another one”. Then there are the words that Ben Franklin gave us to ponder when we are feeling lonely; “Beer is evidence that proves that God loves us”.

    Remember this too; even the relationships that work out perfectly always end in tears. When you Love somebody that’s how it’s going to be whether it works out or not. Of course if you are both eaten by Sharktopus at the same exact moment you won’t have time for tears but where you live you won’t have to worry about that.

    Don’t be in such a hurry to get rid of the pain that you act compulsively. This can lead you into the next ambush that ends up with a heart stomping. Just delete that phone number, delete your Facebook account, get the scene of the accident out of your rear-view mirror, drive on to the next destination, find some beer and a pro wrestling show and things will get better. If not go to Plenty of Fish dot com to find a date to get you out of the house for a healthy distraction.

    The more times you go through this shit you will find comfort in a set of procedures you can count on to get you through the bad times.

  50. R.D. Walker says:

    Brad’s life is a screenplay written by a horny redneck.

  51. MadBrad says:

    It’s not my fault. Really. The worst thing I can imagine is having a boring life. I may have many regrets but I’m glad to know that even when times were bad I wasn’t bored.

  52. MadBrad says:

    Being horny is a disorder suffered by men who have not yet reached the point where they no longer give a shit.

  53. notamobster says:

    I’m still headin your way, Brad… you better get to work. 🙂

  54. R.D. Walker says:

    Nazi U-boat crew bag a polar bear.

    That is all.

  55. R.D. Walker says:

  56. MadBrad says:

    So this is what a Revo Monday night has descended to.

  57. R.D. Walker says:

    This used to be a good blog.

  58. sortahwitte says:

    We talked about it last fall, but has anybody started writing the screenplay of Brad’s adventures? Double damn guarantee you money maker. All the screenwriters nowadays can do is copy and ‘update’ an old story/movie.

  59. R.D. Walker says:

    A major character in the Great American Novel I intend to write is based on Brad.

    I can’t tell you anything about the novel except its title:

    The Cumulative Impacts of the No Action Alternative

    Google that shit up…

  60. MadBrad says:

    YOU are a very twisted man RD, dropping that “Cumulative Impacts of the No Action Alternative” bombshell into this part of the forum.

    The Horror… The Horror.

  61. R.D. Walker says:

    Yes Brad, it is the stuff of a deeply macabre horror/thriller.

  62. MadBrad says:

    I’ll bet that just when you think you have got to the end, the Terminator gets back up and keeps coming. Tell me it’s true. No matter how fast or far you run you can’t get away either I’ll bet.

  63. TN_Cat says:

    Sounds like a horror/thriller only tax payers could afford a ticket for.

  64. R.D. Walker says:

    It will consume your soul.