Off Topic

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100 Responses to Off Topic

  1. R.D. Walker says:

    I had to host the the above video on our server. YouTube rejected it because of the soundtrack for copyright reasons. I don’t see why, I downloaded the song off YouTube. It is on there at least a half dozen times. Maybe I need to distort it a little. Later…

  2. Van-a-gram says:

    Since they threw the internet kill switch in Egypt, is now just called “Gypt”?

  3. sortahwitte says:

    Oh Van, I just ripped some stitches and I don’t have any. Funny.

  4. R.D. Walker says:

    When I watch the video at the top of the page, all I can think is, “What a sausage fest.”

  5. R.D. Walker says:

    Very weird!

    If you cover the right half of this video with your hand, it is very hot. If you cover the left side, it isn’t. Try it.

  6. R.D. Walker says:

    Think you are brave? Compared to this guy, you are a pussy.

    What’s a half full can of Red Bull dropping from 14,000′ do to a man’s head, anyway?

  7. notamobster says:

    I am a sopping-wet vajajay compared to this guy.

  8. notamobster says:

    Van: Very funny. 🙂

    “Gypt” is what they’re gonna get if they let the muslim brotherhood take control.

  9. Locke n Load says:

    Did the chinese somehow procure and mummify Michael Jackson’s corpse?

  10. Slaphappypap says:

    So let me get this straight…

    1. Jessica Simpson.

    2. Sarah Michelle Gellar.

    3. Shannon Doherty.

    All Registered Republicans. Looking good too.

  11. Slaphappypap says:

    “I realize that the majority of people in the entertainment business happen to be Democrats. I have no problem with that. And they should have no problem with the fact that I’m a Republican.”

    –Shannon Doherty.

    Confession of the day: I was a huge “90210” fan.

  12. R.D. Walker says:

    Is there some kind of a sporting contest on TV tonight? I keep hearing things that lead me to that conclusion.

  13. notamobster says:

    I don’t watch the NFL, but I watch the superbowl sometimes. During the natl anthem they showed GW & Laura and the crowd went nuts.

  14. R.D. Walker says:

    I saw something about meat packers and steel workers was on TV tonight but figured it was a documentary about unions.

  15. TN_Cat says:

    What the he’ll kind of penalty is “going to the ground after a touchdown”? The NFL has turned into such a sissy game. Where is Dick Butkis?

  16. R.D. Walker says:

    Excessive celebration? What? Did he do shots in the end zone?

  17. R.D. Walker says:

    Palin at the Reagan Ranch.

    Reagan at the Reagan Ranch.

    Obama on a girl’s bike.

  18. Locke n Load says:

    thanks RD. coulda done without that last pic…

  19. notamobster says:

    She is so hot… It’s sad really, that she can be so beautiful and STILL be more of a man than Zero.

  20. jacksonsdad says:

    No shit.. a girls bike and a friggin’ helmet. I can understand the helmet if you are hauling ass from A to B but… not for a leisurely peddle down the street. Good grief!

    As for the girls bike… well, at least she got that right.

  21. R.D. Walker says:

    So. I added comment ratings. Any objections?

    Should make things like caption contests more interesting.

  22. notamobster says:

    Might let us know how many lurking liberals we have in the shadows on some of our (my)comments, too.

  23. notamobster says:

    Something in the new rating system has changed the comment settings. It no longer allows writers (me at least) to post videos or any html in comments. Click edit and look at this comment. The HTML is there, it just doesn’t show up on the public view.

  24. R.D. Walker says:

    Well hell. That is unacceptable.

    I deactivated it and it still isn’t appearing. I may have to reload software.


  25. notamobster says:

    That sucks.

  26. R.D. Walker says:

    I don’t think it was the ratings. I also upgraded to the newest version of WordPress. It may have been that.

  27. R.D. Walker says:

    It was definitely caused by the WordPress upgrade. I won’t be able to fix it until tonight. Links still work. Sorry.

  28. R.D. Walker says:

    HTML in comments bug fixed. What a pain.

  29. notamobster says:


  30. BrunDawg says:

    Harry Baals is the runaway favorite in online voting to name the new building in Fort Wayne, about 120 miles northeast of Indianapolis. But Deputy Mayor Beth Malloy said that probably won’t be enough to put the name of the city’s longest-tenured mayor on the center.
    True Story

  31. SemperFi says:

    The funnier part is that the guy has a relative named Jim Baals!!!!

  32. notamobster says:

    Gotta disagree SemperFi. Harry Baals is a ridiculously funny name.

  33. vanagram says:

    You can bullshit people, but its far more difficult to bullshit ‘the market’:

    “Since Feb. 1, the price of AOL shares has dropped from $23.85 to $20.89 at yesterday’s close. With 106.7 million shares outstanding, that means AOL has shed $315 million in value over the last five trading days — which happens to be exactly the same price AOL agreed to pay to acquire HuffPo.”

  34. BrunDawg says:

    I read the story about Gabrielle Giffords’ first words since being shot and could only think of Nota’s Feb 8 video post above.

  35. sortahwitte says:

    Outstanding! Can’t wait!

  36. BrunDawg says:

    A little off topicness for the ladies who are trying to understand men.

  37. vanagram says:

    You knew this was coming. Mandatory insurance requirement for you dog. No kidding. I wonder if I can get a waiver. …

  38. notamobster says:

    Is it wrong for me to tell my wife’s Yorkie (6.7lbs) that the day will come when “we have to eat” him, and “I will at least be respectful while skinning his little ass”?

    I love this dog. He’s great. We’ve become great friends since my job loss (June). I will still gut, clean, and eat him.

  39. notamobster says:

    Oh my GOD!!! Facebook sucks. I’m on there. (yes, I’m a closeted facebooker…..sometimes)

    I just got a “friend” request from my 6th grade girlfriend …… those of you who know me, know that I moved A LOT! It’s not like I lived in the same town for my whole life.

    This girl remembers me, and I remember her because she was the first girl I “kissed” (tongue….ewww….).

    I’m not entirely comfortable with this. I have MANY ex-girlfriends who have found me on facebook, but it’s okay because they were cool. What happens when the crazy one’s find me? Yes, they were CRAZY. Like, in a literal way.

    I had 2 more female requests tonight. I had to look at the pics to see if I “know” them. I don’t remember ’em.

    FOCK. Facebook is good for finding old friends, but it opens you up to a whole world of (possible children) memories that should be left in the past.

  40. notamobster says:

    Anyone heard from “Nobody” lately?

  41. R.D. Walker says:

    Facebook is bizarro territory. I may be the last person in the world who has never had a Facebook account under his real name. Creeps me out.

  42. sortahwitte says:

    RD, I don’t touch facebook. Shudder.

    Nota. Shouldn’t you be putting the yorkie on some kind of forced protein diet? 6.7# won’t dress out very well. Oh come on. You all wanted to say it.

  43. R.D. Walker says:

    I once had a girlfriend with two five pound Yorkies. They wouldn’t have been worth eating. It was the only time I considered getting a cat: A twenty five pound Maine Coon Cat.

    One like this.

  44. jacksonsdad says:

    Did any of y’all see this?…

    snippet; “The researchers were unable to clearly explain the findings but theorized that because working mothers have little time to shop for healthy food and prepare meals, they and their children eat more fast- and packaged foods, which tend to be high in fat and calories.”

    Ya’ know what NOW will have to say about this?? NADA.

    How about FLOTUS MAXIMUS?

    As per usual in all things liberal, they attack the symptoms instead of the cause. Just as they turn a blind eye to Rashid while they pat down Betty White, they ignore findings like this as they assault McDonalds.

    Ya’ think any journOlists will pursue the many conclusions that can be drawn from such a study? How ’bout this for a title…

    “Chicken/Egg?; Fat Kids/Working Moms?”

    or how about this….

    “WORKING MOTHERS… THE RISE OF AN INDUSTRY. How Fast Food Filled the Vacuum Created by Rosie the Riveter”

  45. Locke n Load says:

    JD, I have no question the study is accurate, only how did somebody actually get cash to document this?

    Any pizza delivery guy could give you the skinny. Mom is working late, tells kids to order a pizza, two 2liters of Coke, etc. Kids sit on couch and play video games before AND after exhausted single mom gets home.
    Yeah, building a lot of healthy kids this way…. Latchkey kids get screwed in so many ways

  46. sortahwitte says:

    My best friend has a maine coon cat. He weighs 35 pounds and his name is Bob (big old burrito). I’m not a cat person, but I love this cat. When I visit the house, and he hears my voice, he comes running to say Hi! He has a better personality than a lot of folks I have worked with. I actually think he’s a dog in a cat suit.

  47. notamobster says:

    Sorta: inre the dressing out comment – 🙂

  48. Air Force Brat says:

    Oh dear Lord — how can I hope to make a worthy contribution to an Off Topic thread that runs the gamut from Maine coon cats to dressing out Yorkies? Screw it, here goes:

    It’s very, very rare for me to request input, but I’d appreciate some now. There’s a hell of a hard decision coming up career-wise for yours truly within the next week. Allow me to bore the shit out of you, as follows:

    I’m an independent contractor — a freelance paralegal. The freedom is unmatched, but there’s no security. That’s OK by me, as there’s presently no Mr. Brat or Little Brats to worry about. However, with the long-term assignment I’ve been on for the past 6 months, I’ve grown somewhat used to being able to make the mortgage payment without worry and to eat more than once a day. However, in said long-term assignment, there are big problems. To-wit:

    1) They seem to have forgotten that I’m an independent contractor. Don’t get me wrong, I’m there from 8:00-5:00 every single day — rain, shine, or blizzard. But while every other swinging d*ck in the place takes off every time the fancy strikes, God help me if I have a doctor or dentist appointment. The degree of “control-ism” is outright oppressive.

    2) One womam in particular has, since I walked in the door, made the assignment a living hell. She also continually kisses the asses of the attorneys in this small firm, which means that no matter how carefully I document her shenanigans, nothing is done. I’m having trouble containing my rage, which is bad because I know my physical capacities VERY well.

    3) EVERY case that has any value at all goes to one of the other paralegals. I get the shit cases, even though I’ve been in the legal field for 13 years and have been on more 6, 7 and 8-figure cases at other firms than I can count.

    Long story short, the “pros” of this assignment = steady income. The “cons” = everything else. On the one hand, I’m scared of starving again, and of having to borrow money to make the house payment. Yet on the other hand, the present situation is miserable.

    I’m pretty sure I know exactly what I’m going to have to do, but I’d still value input from the Revoistas.

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

  49. R.D. Walker says:

    I tell my sons that they have three choices in life:

    1) Work
    2) Prison
    3) Homelessness

    My daughter, generally, has a fourth choice:

    4) Marry well

    Having said that, my advice has always been never quit a job until you have another job lined up. This is not always advice I have followed myself… usually to my great dismay.

    There are many variables involved in your choice AFB including how long you can and want to live off of savings and your general willingness to accept risk. Assuming these are of average measures, I would suggest that you begin looking for other employment while you tough out the cons of this gig. Try to focus on the pro, which is providing yourself with food and shelter; something that is necessary even in a state of nature.

  50. TN_Cat says:

    Yep, same advise my Dad gave. Never quit a job unless you have another. To add to that, it is a lot easier to find a job when you already have one.

  51. Air Force Brat says:

    Wise advice, and I thank you, gentlemen.

    One thing that I’ve done is maintain contact with all my clients, and have cultivated new contacts as well througout the course of this assignment. Just got done summarizing the transcripts of a murder trial, in fact (which I do in the evenings and on weekends).

    If I can pull in a few more such gigs, I can go back to working out of the home, which is usualy a 7-day-per-week thing but which I truly loved and was happy doing.

  52. Air Force Brat says:

    Crap. What a fool I am. “usually”, not “usualy”.

  53. MadBrad says:


    It depends on how much you value your security, health and happiness. If you pursue health or happiness too hard you will lose security. If you become too insecure you lose health and happiness. If you know your limits on the how much anxiety you can endure you can negate some of its effects through different kinds of physical exercise. It’s tough having to deal with nasty people on a continual basis though.

    Here’s one thing I know will help. Pray about it. Ask God to show you what you are supposed to do. He promises that there is no situation you can be in that he can’t show you a way out of. Pray, pray, pray. Eventually circumstances change and opportunities arise. Things do happen when we ask for them knowing that who we ask these things of is definitely able to make things open up, clear obstacles out of your way or steer you around them. Ask for them with complete Faith that God will see to it that your needs are attended to. Ask for them in the name of Jesus Christ and wait for lightning to strike! Seriously!

  54. Locke n Load says:

    AFB, there is only one thing worse than being miserable at work: being miserable and OUT of work. Unless there is actionable abuse in the office I’d suggest you worry less about the BS others get away with and more about getting your resume and contact list fattened up.

    Forgive me, but bitching about asskissers is pedestrian, counterproductive, and unprofessional in the eyes of your employers. It also smacks of weakness and that, my tough young friend, is NOT an image you should be cultivating.

    If your office is indeed that clubby and the dingbat asskisser is sucessful plying her disingenuous BS, then be smart and start quietly arranging your new gig. Life is too short to work for or with people who don’t know how to maximize your abilities so get your shit in order and be prepared to jump at the next good opportunity!

  55. sortahwitte says:

    AFB. MB said it better than I. I wish I could say I’ve always followed that advice. Everybody here cares about you, and wants the perfect answer for you. At the end, though, it’s still what you feel is best for you.

  56. Air Force Brat says:

    Many thanks to my invaluable Revoistas for their kind words and support. MB — I have indeed been praying about the situation; and the more I pray, the more the certainty grows that it’s time to go. And I’ve been working nights and weekends on projects for my other clients (LnL, you will be proud), and socking that money aside to both pay taxes and live on in an emergency. Also, I’ve compiled quite a list of contacts in addition to the clients I already have, so that should help as well.

    I neglected to mention the physical symptoms I’ve been re-experiencing earlier, because I didn’t want it to look like all I did was bitch, bitch, bitch. Those symptoms are what prompted the prayers, which in turn led to that “still, small voice” telling me to get out before I drop dead. They’re why I went independent in the first place, and are scary: Chest pains, violent shakes, semi-“convulsions” from stress, excruciating headaches over one temple, inability to breathe (which I NEVER have while doing heavy manual labor at home), insonmia, severe depression, you name it.

    The asskisser isn’t the ordinary garden-variety office bully wannabe — two people before me have left over the course of her 3-year tenure. She’s malicious in a truly evil, black-hearted way, and is PROUD of herself for screwing around on her husband. I suspect that what made her home in on me is that I replaced a friend of hers, a lazy Bag-O-Crap who quit to avoid being fired. Better to say “so long” than to go to jail for putting her in the hospital.

    It will be a leap of faith, but I’m as prepared as it’s possible to be in the insecure field of being an indy. Health must trump everything else. Doubtful I’ll be without sufficient work for long anyway.

    Thank you again, everyone.

  57. notamobster says:

    I just now saw this. I went on a date with my wife, my brothers, sister and their spouses last night. We got tipsy at dinner and decided to go dancing.

    With the benefit of the sage advice provided above, I would suggest all of it.

    I would add that I look for opportunity (keep my ear to the ground), even when I have no intention of leaving a job I’m happy with. Chance favors the prepared mind.

    I would reinforce the idea that it’s important to have other employment before vacating the current position, and add that I would be careful not to burn any bridges unless they absolutely need burning.

    It’s better (for me) to be employed, miserably on a voluntary basis than unemployed, miserably, on an involuntary basis.

  58. Slaphappypap says:

    I concour with Nota. I personally find it sick that co-workers sleep and show they’re **ts and are not qualified for the position. Even fired employees wives are in management. I get disgusted thinking about it. Then I remember I get a decent check every two weeks with insurance. Paying my mortgage is better than not.

  59. Bman says:

    I notice there is another Bman posting. Im the real Bman. He may want to get another screen name so there isnt any confusion. Just sayin’

  60. Bman says:

    can’t believe I forgot to mention this to ya’s. Last weekend, I went on a short vacation to Arizona to golf, thaw out, and drink beer with a few buddies. Good times. Didn’t have any trouble going through security. It was the small airport in Mesa, so I truly didnt believe there would be any problems anyway. I went through the metal detector. Slick as snot. No beeping. When I went to gather my shit and put on my shoes, a TSA guy came up to me and asked to see the palms of my hands. i dropped my can of Copenhagen back in the bin and exposed my palms. Without warning, he swabbed them with some kind of cloth attached to a stick. It happen so fast I didnt have time to react, nor did i realise what the hell just happened for Ive never seen this before. I asked the guy, as he was walking away, “what was that for?” He took a few more steps away, turned his head to the side and stated, “Checking for chemicals.”

    50 bucks he just lifted my fingerprints. Thats what I thought immediately following the incident.

  61. Locke n Load says:

    So THATS what the B stands for in B-man…BOMBS!!!! Why didn’t we see it before?!

  62. Locke n Load says:

    Just got my first Sherries Berries order and the damned things arrived looking like they got the hackeysack treatment at FedEx. Fuck.
    Ah well, Surf n Turf will have to suffice

  63. Bman says:

    Wrong locke- the B stands for Blowed Up. Close though. I’ll give you that!

    So this old fart who is hard of hearing and his wife were sitting in the doctors office after his check-up. The Doc comes in and says, “Everything appears to be fine, Sir! We will need a stool, blood, and urine sample however.” The old man pipes up and says, “Huh? What did you say?” before the doctor can repeat the question, the wife interupts, annoyed and says, “JUST GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR!”

  64. BrunDawg says:

    Weather is beautiful in Chicago. Temps in the 40s and people are coming out of their homes. Around 3:00 today “Two 17-year-old boys were shot at 75th Street and South Constance Avenue near South Shore High School”. The area is known to border two gang areas and if the shooters went home and watched television, they were asked to turn themselves in. I hope it works.,0,3508433.story

  65. TN_Cat says:

    Bman, did you play Troon North?

  66. Bman says:

    No TN….Played at The Pines and some other course. Cant remember the name. But the Pines is awesome, especially the back nine.

  67. TN_Cat says:

    Too bad, was hoping you might of met one of my kids. Alice Cooper was at Troon last weekend too.

  68. notamobster says:

    Bman (the original): They swabbed you for semen and hand lotion. They’re some dirty f-kers at the TSA. Next time, they’re gonna grope your junk and look at you naked!

  69. Bman says:

    …Or Nota, they may swab my hand with lotion in hopes that I grope their junk

    Bman (the original)

  70. Bman says:

    After careful consideration, it is my belief that both Bman’s posting here are infact, me. I don’t know why Im on the comments list thing twice.

    That got me thinking…..Im wondering how many people here have two different screen names, or three, or ten. Kinda like Stephen King aka Richard Bachman, or Garth Brooks aka Chris Gaines, or Michelle Obama aka The Wookie of Kashyyyk. Perhaps Nota, Madbrad, TN Cat, Rude Jude, AFB, James, Van, LnL, uke, Slap and Sorta are really just aliases of RD? I think Im on to something here…..

  71. Bman says:

    Im not going to add Jim22 or Brun to that list because I dont think RD would create this fine site just for me.

  72. notamobster says:

    It’s the different email addresses you sign in under that cause you to be listed twice.

    I don’t even think Cybil had that many (COMPLETELY DIFFERENT) personalities, although…..he and Mr. Locke N Load do share a common intellectual quirkiness and love of all things nerd-ish. 🙂

    Apparently, in a drunken fit of stupidity I once commented under the name “nota” . . . maybe I am a dumber, albeit younger 😉 figment of RD’s imagination?

    (checks his asset holdings. . . )

    Nope. Just notamobster. I almost felt like James Bond for a minute there, but it was not-to-be.

  73. Air Force Brat says:

    As far as I know, there’s only one of me . . . . there are probably people all over the country who are thanking God because of it.

  74. R.D. Walker says:

    Nota is right. It tracks you by your invisible email address. If you post under two email addresses, it will give you two names. The idea was to make sure that nobody can hijack your moniker because only you know your email. Of course you can un-hijack yourself…

  75. BrunDawg says:

    Is it odd or as they call it “heavily coincidental” that one county board is currently facing 5 cases of Muslim mosque proposals some of which are asking to be excepted from building code? From DuPage IL

  76. Locke n Load says:

    Damnit Bman, you outed me. I’m a bigamist leading a dual life in two states with a strange affinity for asian chicks. Don’t tell my Iowa wife.

  77. notamobster says:

    Locke: There is nothing strange about your affinity for asian chicks. Asian chicks rock.

    The only thing strange about it was that you managed to get her to date outside of her race. Very unusual in my experience.

  78. Locke n Load says:

    Must have done something right, look what constitutes a Valentines gift in the LnL household 🙂 She gets candies and dinner, LnL gets a more manly gift.

  79. R.D. Walker says:

    What? You couldn’t find a larger photo, Locke?

    I went ahead and fixed that for you. It was, like, 2000 pixels across.

  80. locke n load says:

    whoops! tried to save that as 350 twice…wtf?

    too be fair, they WERE both very large bottles of beer…

  81. SemperFi says:

    WTF, Locke? Yose gonna need a paper grocery bag to tote dem hands of hevan! Don fuget to pass dat sheit!

    (Did the left side of my face just slide down to my chin?)

  82. Bman says:

    Happy Chinese New Year all! Especially to LnL wife 😉

  83. Air Force Brat says:

    Hmmm, “Ass Kisser” beer. I should order a case for the ass kisser at the office.

    Speaking of: Told them I’m leaving at the end of the month. And it’s funny how fate works — got calls for TWO potential projects. 😀

  84. sortahwitte says:

    Free drinks for everyone! AFB is moving onward and upward! I love Off Topic.

  85. R.D. Walker says:

    AFB: Brad calls it BMP and it is real.

  86. Uke says:

    “The only thing strange about it was that you managed to get her to date outside of her race. Very unusual in my experience.”

    Au contrare! Japanese chicks LOVE a big, white man. Or black man. Or… well, you know… they love Americans.

    At least that’s how my experience goes!~ Tokyo was an amazing visit.

    Though Chinese girls might be different. >_>

  87. notamobster says:

    I was actually referring to asian women in the US. I know his wife is Chinese-Chinese so I guess that wouldn’t apply.

    All the women from other countries love men from the land of the big BX!

    (or big PX for you Army types)

  88. notamobster says:

    Congrats AFB!!! 🙂

  89. Slaphappypap says:

    Solid move Air Force!! Good Luck to you.

  90. R.D. Walker says:

    Justin Bieber says America’s lack of socialism is evil. I. Am. Crushed.

    The Canadian-born Bieber never plans on becoming an American citizen. “You guys are evil,” he says with a laugh. “Canada’s the best country in the world. We go to the doctor and we don’t need to worry about paying him, but here, your whole life, you’re broke because of medical bills. My bodyguard’s baby was premature, and now he has to pay for it. In Canada, if your baby’s premature, he stays in the hospital as long as he needs to, and then you go home.”

    Somebody should tell him that the president has passed a health care bill that is designed around the vision and insight of pubescent teenagers.

  91. notamobster says:

    Great, now I won’t be able to sleep tonight, because Rachael Madcow Jr doesn’t like a free market.

  92. Air Force Brat says:

    Heartfelt thanks to the Revo and its Revoistas for their support and input. I will be buying a round or two for everyone at the Fiesta.

    R.D. — Bieber needs a spanking! That pampered, coddled little so-and-so is woefully uninformed and grossly immature.

  93. sortahwitte says:

    We’re guarding the wrong border.