Off Topic

This off topic thread brought to you by pants pissing scares on Halloween.

Previous off topic threads

99 Responses to Off Topic

  1. TN_Cat says:

    Is anyone else having trouble getting into The Blaze website.

  2. R.D. Walker says:

    Florida. It is always Florida… Even in Florida, a taco is not a legal form of ID.

    Falkner, 30, had apparently decided to make a run for a fourth meal after downing some beers, and he somehow made it all the way to the fast-food joint in his Chevy pickup, placed his order, and received his taco before falling asleep.

    The Taco Bell manager had to call police because Falkner was out cold at the pick-up window and holding up customers behind him. Clearly this was not a victimless crime, and our hearts go out to the hungry folks who had to wait so long for their late-night munchies.

    A deputy awoke Falkner and then asked for his ID. Falkner said no before reaching into his bag and presenting the officer with a taco. Another deputy clarified they were asking for an ID, not a taco. Falkner chuckled and began eating the taco.

    Then deputies noticed Falkner had fallen asleep with his foot on the accelerator while his truck was in park. The engine had caught fire, and fire extinguishers were used to put it out.

    Falkner’s blood alcohol content was between .227 and .225, according to a breath test.

    I give that story a 9. If he would have put Taco Bell hot sauce on his driver’s licence and ate it, I would have given the story a perfect 10.

  3. Uke says:

    Florida. It is always Florida…

    Truth.

  4. BaconNeggs says:

    Thankyou, to all the October 13th. Veterans of the Real Revo.


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invasion_of_Grenada

  5. Locke n Load says:

    I can’t believe this crap, day 5 of 4 hours sleep because of docks and union workers taking their sweet ass time to get the job done. Nuts!

  6. notamobster says:

    LnL: don’t get me started on the union workers, please…

    Grievance after grievance meeting…

    For f-k’s sake…. give it a rest – it’s not harrassment, it’s work – you f-king tools!

  7. Kenneth says:

    This is pretty sad, but it’s a powerfully written piece. Everyone here will recognize the story right off the bat. Unfortunately, it seems it didn’t have the happy ending we all thought.

    http://samuel-wee.blogspot.com/2009/04/tyler-ziegel-and-renee-one-year-on.html

  8. MadBrad says:

    Love the Off Topic Theme.

    Rolling with that “Scare the piss out of ya” theme, in a few minutes I am departing for the monthly meeting held by some local SHTF Prepers. I hear the meeting should be well attended so if I expect to have a seat I need to get there early.

    Topic of discussion this evening…

    Presentations:

    * Financial Planner
    o World economic update – What is really going on in Europe & China
    o Future of the Euro as a currency
    o Implications of a Greek default on the US Banking system
    o Hyper Inflation or Deflation in the US
    o Are Gold and Silver the answer?
    o Best strategies for financial protection for the future
    o Q&A

    * HAM Operator & JEA (Jacksonville Electric Authority)Engineer
    o General discussion of ham radio as a grid, phone, cell, internet independent communication system
    o Q&A

    I will definitely be reporting back with my findings.

  9. Locke n Load says:

    Now THAT I wanna hear about Brad. Damnit wish I could have been there for that meeting. Would have been a hell of a discussion group:)

  10. Locke n Load says:

    I can’t. I can’t write. I can’t think about it, write about it, even talk about it much more. Its here, it’s started, its now global. These fuckers are really going to try and start the global socialist revolution right now. Right now, in front of the election, in the midst of trying to save Europe from itself, in one of the most critical moments in banking in the last 100 years… Every stupid prediction, timeline, and bit of tangential evidence I kept talking about is coming to fruition. I can’t believe its actually happening…
    Am I the only one who’s heart breaks every time he pulls up the headlines?
    They’re reaching critical mass. the “movement” is close to having a life of its own now. It will need a leader to shape it for the next stage and he’s probably in the wings fanmning the flames right now…
    Motherf******s.
    I need a drink. Screw precious metals, alcohol will be the new currency

  11. Kenneth says:

    Have a few, relax, and get your head back in the game.

    We’ve had several decisive victories lately. What you’re seeing is not reality, but propaganda. I took the time to go to the Dallas OWS protest. These people are bat-shit insane.

    Insane, and able to be defeated.

  12. Kenneth says:

    On a positive note, my Rangers kicked some serious ass last night!

    :D :D :D

  13. notamobster says:

    Booooo! Booooo!!! :-(

  14. jacksonsdad says:

    I smell desperation. They know their window is closing so they are going to get as much as they can grab now. They had ‘supermajorities’ and still had to fight tooth and nail. The only thing eclipsing the utter failure of their policies is their complete inability to lead.

    Zero effort to build a true consensus. Transparency? Did they really promise that? It probably depends on what your definition of the words ‘Fast’ and ‘Furious’ are.

    Just step back and think about the level of credibility of ‘journalists’ like Matthews, Stephanopolous, Zakaria, Olberman, Sharpton lmao… LMAO! Stick a fork in them, they are done! Out of the closet Full Monty Style for all thinking people to see. They went BLIND ALL IN with Obozo and now they have seen the cards and it ain’t pretty. 2/3 suited Jack high means it’s time to fold or it’s time to bluff and boy-oh-boy are they struggling to maintain a poker face.

    You wanna know what’s the funniest thing of all? They can’t fold. They want to… they REALLLLY want to… but there’s no friggin’ way they can pull it off. A blonde-haired white woman is the default “OH SHIT- ABORT!” button and she’s the EXACT OPPOSITE of BarryO… can anybody say Party of Racists? The irony is delicious. They have learned the hard way that The Race Sword has two sharp edges.

    It doesn’t matter how crappy he turned out to be, they were stuck with him for 2012 as soon as he won the nomination in 2008. This ain’t Teddie K running against JC in ’80… this would f-up their party Titanic-style. They’ve been perpetuating racism while perceiving only the tip of that particular pending disaster and now they clearly see the peril beneath the surface. Racist, Know Thyself.

    Meanwhile, they have repelled the center like it had the clap. Good luck winning an election relying on pissed-off lied-to independents. Couple that with The United Front on the Right…. A-B-O, HOMEY’S GOT TO GO!!… and it’s a bleak picture for the progressives.

    I know some of you say you won’t vote for Romney but… if he does wind up getting the nomination I know you will do the R thing when the rubber meets the road. In the meantime… two words;

    HER-MAN! HER-MAN!!

  15. R.D. Walker says:

    Great commentary, JD. I really liked your observation that they can’t fold. That is so true.

    I will be caucusing for Cain but, if Romney gets the nomination, I will sure as hell vote for him just like I voted for McCain whom I very much disliked. Given a choice between a kick in the nuts and bullet to the brain, I will take the kick every time.

  16. sortahwitte says:

    LnL, I agree. Who’s gonna screw with precious metals when ammunition and liquor are so spendable and consumable. I have all three, but am leaning toward the latter two.

    And in my spare time, I’m studying to be a Libertarian. Will I be able to perform marriages? No, wait. That’s Lutheranarian. I’m studying that too.

  17. TN-Cat says:

    Just a thought RD.
    Run a counter that shows arrests made at tea party protests next to a counter of arrests at the parasite protests.

    Might open a few eyes.

  18. MadBrad says:

    There can be no doubt that a momentous battle is at hand. Next Sunday I will give the sermon of my life that is going to open some eyes and that’s going to be a painful experience for some I think. What I think doesn’t matter. I realize that people are given an education by the hand of God to deliver a message at the time of his choosing. God chose October 23rd 2011 for me. It’s a very important date in our history and the theme of the message will be; Be not deceived for it is by their Fruits that you shall know them.

  19. MadBrad says:

    It is now time to drop the PC Bullshit and communicate with your fellow citizens in no uncertain terms about what is taking place in our Country right now. We know it, we see it. TESTIFY!!!

  20. Locke n Load says:

    Hehehe see now I KNOW you don’t doubt I will Brad, roflmao.
    Its just heartbreaking having to give up on so many people.
    JD that was beautiful :) Desperation is absolutely in the air but if we allow ourselves to think this next election will be played out under normal rules we should ask to be slapped back into reality. The Dems are amassing a Venial Sins Army and by god they’d be happy to find an orator to rally around. it won’t be Barack I don’t think. Whoever steps up will be more committed to the marxist cause. He’ll be dangerous. He will come, and soon.

  21. MadBrad says:

    Well based on the “Prepper” meeting I went to last night, things aren’t as dire as I suspected, if I am to believe the “Financial Planner” guy who spoke. He seemed to know his shit. Instead of 90 days to a major catastrophe, we may have 180 to 250 days.

    Oh, that’s right…

    That’s how it happened last time.

    An economic attack against our Banks took place in September of 2008. Then there was the October to bend over. Then there was the glorious “Historic Election”.

    At least we still have time to stockpile those precious metals shaped like projectiles, cans of food and cookware.

  22. MadBrad says:

    Of course that guy doesn’t impress me like you do L&L. He was rather mild mannered and doesn’t have that Charlie Sheen-like intensity that you do.

  23. Locke n Load says:

    Oh my, this is SO rich. The “protester” that got “run over” by the scooter is a slip and fall atty, bwahahahahahaha.

    Yes, witnesses are corroborating: he staged the accident. Disbar the bastard, seriously. Send a message to the rest of the OWS tards that we know wtf yer doing and it will be punished.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/occupy_wall_street/2011/10/14/2011-10-14_occupy_wall_street_protest_march_marred_by_video_appearing_to_show_nypd_scooter_.html#ixzz1amx4Yeq7

  24. MadBrad says:

    By the way JD, that was a masterful expression of astute observation.

  25. Locke n Load says:

    I would have loved to have been there Brad. Wrong state, wrong time.
    I’m curious, did he go into the details of each EU participant and how the contagion could develop?
    I sent RD one of many interactive graphics I’ve been playing with that detailed every country’s bank and soveriegn debt exposure. It was pretty cool really. This last one showed how much of an immediate loss would be suffered if a specified debt forgiveness program were enacted. Thats whats actually being discussed right now, but what it DIDN’T show was how each particular country would get hammered as the deleveraging of that devalued debt occured. Simply put, if you forgive 30% of the loans extended and cannot count on that income from the bonds, then that same 30% will effect the underlying strength of other instruments and investments. Assuming, as we should, that risk on most of these loans is spread around in several other interest paying debt issuances then THOSE debts become the new “bad debt” and have to be written down as well. In reality the world of debt traunches is spread out across the globe and has mountains of other investments leveraged against its staus as AAA. Which of course its NOT. The EU is now forcef to try and untangle the exposure risks of ALL of these countries and calculate how MUCH TO MONETIZE. Its a massive QE for Europe.

    Now the good thing is they have a chance to address this rationally and in a concerted fashion. They get to pre-plan the 2008 disaster response whiloe WE had to do it on the fly and stop the contagion as it spread, all the while trying to decipher how much was really at risk.

    See, whats happening in europe is very very much like what happened here, except over there its Greece playing the part of our bad Mortgages. And they’re stuck in exactly the same situation…how to stop the failure of the debtor from collapsing all the related structures that depended on that debt as an asset. Monetization is theitr only answer. It can only work so far tho… and it will require an AMAZING amount of money from us to pull off. And if they don’t kick Greece out? It WILL start all over again. This entire effort will have just been to buy time.

  26. Locke n Load says:

    Actually, there IS another solution and it will cost about the same and probably be only a once-off.
    Break up the EU.
    Or they could go the other way entirely and try to form a tighter Union like our Federalism, and get COMPLETELY fucked as they all crashed together or war broke out.

  27. R.D. Walker says:

    I got nothing. Only increased misanthropy…

  28. notamobster says:

    JD – GREAT!

    RD – FUCK… That poor baby. Why don’t we all live in a centrally-planned society where a child can be crushed by a vehicle and passed by a dozen vehicles and nobody gives a shit?

    Oh, because we are God-fearing humans? Not lazy, greedy, brood-thirsty communists?

    Yep.

  29. notamobster says:

    I fear the world who doesn’t care for children.

  30. slinger says:

    R.D. I saw this comic and thought of you:

    http://xkcd.com/966/

  31. R.D. Walker says:

    That is great! On a moonbat site I go to I do that all the time. I am always talking about how ninjas were involved.

  32. R.D. Walker says:

    The adult baby who gets disability benefits got up-twinkles from Social Security and is good to go. He wants an apology from Senator Coburn.

    Man living as an ‘adult baby’ is cleared of Social Security fraud

    He is the 99%!

  33. sortahwitte says:

    Best time ever in the great outdoors.

    Shooting at range for concealed carry license. Young woman shooting at the targets. Hot brass went down the front of her shirt. She stripped off the shirt and bra in a split second. I wanted to take the class every week.

  34. notamobster says:

    I have had so many good times in the outdoors… most of them didn’t include boobs.

    I like the funniness, but the great outdoors signify manliness and shit… Most of my lady-times have been indoors, or on a riverbank, lake’s edge, etc…

    Just saying….

  35. Bman says:

    Hot brass between the toes is a bitch. Never go shooting in sandals, that’s what I always say….these days anyway.

  36. Jim22 says:

    The shot boyfriend part is unfortunate. She must have freaked out when the brass went down her shirt and lost control of her gun.

    I’ve had hot brass down my shirt but usually all I had to do was bend forward and pull the shirt away from my body. The brass cools pretty quickly. Probably wouldn’t work with a bra.

    Probably not a good idea to wear a low-neckline top to the range. Better yet, control yourself if something goes wrong.

  37. R.D. Walker says:

    This has to be Brad’s dog. It just has to be.

  38. slinger says:

    Not sure if you guys have seen this. This is probably must see material for every Revoista:

    http://www.therightscoop.com/open-thread-grinding-america-down/

    The Communist agenda has been effective, as we all know … even so, I had no idea HOW incredibly effective it has been.

  39. R.D. Walker says:

    Had two launches of the rocket this weekend. No video. Camera failed. Maybe excessive G force. I am not sure so I ordered another one of the cheap things.

    Rocket flew fine.

  40. Locke n Load says:

    Slinger,
    You may not have ever seen me post this before but I’ve done so at leat a half dozen times.
    In fact, I keep a copy of this congressional transcript on my laptop. I’ve had a copy with me since the 90’s actualy,lol. people used to think i was nuts for even mentioning it…isn’t so nuts now, is it.
    They’ve done all but 2 if I recall.

    Have a look at the complete record.
    By the way, the man giving the testimony is the author of “the 5000 year leap”, a book you might find interesting :)

    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1561529/posts

    Here they are in order.

    1. U.S. acceptance of coexistence as the only alternative to atomic war.

    2. U.S. willingness to capitulate in preference to engaging in atomic war.

    3. Develop the illusion that total disarmament [by] the United States would be a demonstration of moral strength.

    4. Permit free trade between all nations regardless of Communist affiliation and regardless of whether or not items could be used for war.

    5. Extension of long-term loans to Russia and Soviet satellites.

    6. Provide American aid to all nations regardless of Communist domination.

    7. Grant recognition of Red China. Admission of Red China to the U.N.

    8. Set up East and West Germany as separate states in spite of Khrushchev’s promise in 1955 to settle the German question by free elections under supervision of the U.N.

    9. Prolong the conferences to ban atomic tests because the United States has agreed to suspend tests as long as negotiations are in progress.

    10. Allow all Soviet satellites individual representation in the U.N.

    11. Promote the U.N. as the only hope for mankind. If its charter is rewritten, demand that it be set up as a one-world government with its own independent armed forces. (Some Communist leaders believe the world can be taken over as easily by the U.N. as by Moscow. Sometimes these two centers compete with each other as they are now doing in the Congo.)

    12. Resist any attempt to outlaw the Communist Party.

    13. Do away with all loyalty oaths.

    14. Continue giving Russia access to the U.S. Patent Office.

    15. Capture one or both of the political parties in the United States.

    16. Use technical decisions of the courts to weaken basic American institutions by claiming their activities violate civil rights.

    17. Get control of the schools. Use them as transmission belts for socialism and current Communist propaganda. Soften the curriculum. Get control of teachers’ associations. Put the party line in textbooks.

    18. Gain control of all student newspapers.

    19. Use student riots to foment public protests against programs or organizations which are under Communist attack.

    20. Infiltrate the press. Get control of book-review assignments, editorial writing, policymaking positions.

    21. Gain control of key positions in radio, TV, and motion pictures.

    22. Continue discrediting American culture by degrading all forms of artistic expression. An American Communist cell was told to “eliminate all good sculpture from parks and buildings, substitute shapeless, awkward and meaningless forms.”

    23. Control art critics and directors of art museums. “Our plan is to promote ugliness, repulsive, meaningless art.”

    24. Eliminate all laws governing obscenity by calling them “censorship” and a violation of free speech and free press.

    25. Break down cultural standards of morality by promoting pornography and obscenity in books, magazines, motion pictures, radio, and TV.

    26. Present homosexuality, degeneracy and promiscuity as “normal, natural, healthy.”

    27. Infiltrate the churches and replace revealed religion with “social” religion. Discredit the Bible and emphasize the need for intellectual maturity which does not need a “religious crutch.”

    28. Eliminate prayer or any phase of religious expression in the schools on the ground that it violates the principle of “separation of church and state.”

    29. Discredit the American Constitution by calling it inadequate, old-fashioned, out of step with modern needs, a hindrance to cooperation between nations on a worldwide basis.

    30. Discredit the American Founding Fathers. Present them as selfish aristocrats who had no concern for the “common man.”

    31. Belittle all forms of American culture and discourage the teaching of American history on the ground that it was only a minor part of the “big picture.” Give more emphasis to Russian history since the Communists took over.

    32. Support any socialist movement to give centralized control over any part of the culture–education, social agencies, welfare programs, mental health clinics, etc.

    33. Eliminate all laws or procedures which interfere with the operation of the Communist apparatus.

    34. Eliminate the House Committee on Un-American Activities.

    35. Discredit and eventually dismantle the FBI.

    36. Infiltrate and gain control of more unions.

    37. Infiltrate and gain control of big business.

    38. Transfer some of the powers of arrest from the police to social agencies. Treat all behavioral problems as psychiatric disorders which no one but psychiatrists can understand [or treat].

    39. Dominate the psychiatric profession and use mental health laws as a means of gaining coercive control over those who oppose Communist goals.

    40. Discredit the family as an institution. Encourage promiscuity and easy divorce.

    41. Emphasize the need to raise children away from the negative influence of parents. Attribute prejudices, mental blocks and retarding of children to suppressive influence of parents.

    42. Create the impression that violence and insurrection are legitimate aspects of the American tradition; that students and special-interest groups should rise up and use ["]united force["] to solve economic, political or social problems.

    43. Overthrow all colonial governments before native populations are ready for self-government.

    44. Internationalize the Panama Canal.

    45. Repeal the Connally reservation so the United States cannot prevent the World Court from seizing jurisdiction [over domestic problems. Give the World Court jurisdiction] over nations and individuals alike

  41. Bman says:

    Awwwww…

  42. Bman says:

    Man, it’s deader than disco in here
    today

  43. notamobster says:

    LnL: I just posted that as a stand alone two days ago. Incredible.

  44. Locke n Load says:

    I’ve been either flat on my back or praying to the porcelain god for the last 96 hrs Nota, only today had enough balance and drive to get my ass back in the truck and back to work. I vaguely remember posting 1 or 2 responses in my medicated haze but somehow missed your post re the 45 goals. That list IS amazing, aint it?

    Sorry I’ve been absent, been a brutal 10 day stretch

  45. notamobster says:

    That sucks. I seem to have caught a little whiskey flu, this evening…

    http://therealrevo.com/blog/?p=58940

    I got the list from slingers video link – they got it from “The Naked Communist”, 1958.

  46. Locke n Load says:

    And the Naked Communist was the text that was excerpted for the 1963 testimony. I still think its amazing that the guy who gave the testimony was the author of that book. Talk about a lifelong trooper, damn.

    Oh, btw, in my medicated haze I briefly chortled my way through this article before slammingmy head into the pillow again.

    http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/0cf3791e-fbfd-11e0-b1d8-00144feab49a.html#axzz1bedGcHWm

    Maybe it was the drugs but I ended up having a vivid dream about how and why this was being leaked to the press…

    I know EXACTLY why they’re doing this, any of you? If it seems like minutia that needs explaining I’ll get to it tomorrow. Right now my meds are making my head spin. FOUR phamaceutical wonders to beat this damned thing back. I swear to you, this concoction makes me dizzy.

  47. notamobster says:

    Apparently, you have to be a subscriber…

    I was looking forward to tackling as much.

  48. Locke n Load says:

    Subscriber? Just give em an email and username, its free. Worth it too ;)

    If you remember most of my explanations about our deficit dilemma I think you’ll grasp whats being contemplated. The big thing is WHY

  49. notamobster says:

    drinking…. probably not. Most of my braincells have committed seppuku at this point.

  50. notamobster says:

    Feelgood story of the day:

    The Palestinian Center for Human Rights (PCHR) reports 20 Palestinians were injured in Gaza due to celebratory shooting-in-the-air upon the return of convicted terrorists freed by Israel in exchange for Hamas’ release of kidnapped soldier Gilad Shalit.

  51. Locke n Load says:

    Shitfuck. Only 20?

  52. notamobster says:

    They should celebrate by shooting mortar rounds straight up in the air.

  53. Locke n Load says:

    EXACTLY what I was thinkin. Big friggin mortar rounds. Maybe flame throwers would be ‘celebratory’ in their graceful flaming arcs as well….

  54. notamobster says:

    Where’s a celebratory bomb-vest when you need one?

  55. Locke n Load says:

    Thanks man, I’m in agony over here from these damned vomitous Cipro cramps and you go and double me over again

    Smiley

  56. Locke n Load says:

    Screw it, I gotta lie down. I’m toast.
    Crazy Nuse practitioner…I come in with a case of respiratory armageddon and she treats me for Anthrax ;)

  57. DarthJay says:

    Great article. Don’t be fooled by the title, read the whole thing.

    http://blog.heritage.org/2011/10/25/over-2400-tea-partiers-arrested/

  58. Locke n Load says:

    Ya know what would be interesting to see? A video of someone posing as a wannabe OWS asking for help coming up with a sign idea. Besides the obvious asshattery it would be pretty cool to see the roots of the meme as it was distributed.

  59. MadBrad says:

    The rumor circulating among Republican Party organizers in Florida is that Cain will name Newt Gingrich as his running mate.

  60. R.D. Walker says:

    Newt is by far the smartest of the current crop of GOP candidates. Cain could use a policy wonk genius to balance his ticket. That would be a good team.

  61. jacksonsdad says:

    I’d love to see Newt with that platform. He would give the LSM migraines.

  62. MadBrad says:

    That’s exactly what I was thinking. Newt is a proper replacement for Lord Vader. His communication skills will be a tremendous boost to the campaign. They ARE traveling together down here, by the way. That’s what has created the buzz.

  63. DarthJay says:

    I could actually get on board with that ticket.

  64. Jim22 says:

    I still think Cain needs someone like Newt to give his ticket Washington D.C. creds. He’s an outsider but Newt would fix that.

  65. notamobster says:

    Just spent the morning watching my nephew (Magellan’s boy) play an awesome game of hockey (well, he doesn’t actually play hockey – he’s a goalie…) ;)

    Then, we took the kids for some amazing BBQ and went for a Sunday drive. I’m gonna go help move a bed and watch the Lions game with my Dad.

    This is living.

  66. TaterSalad says:

    At Energy Biz, Ken Silverstein, a perennial cheerleader for politically correct renewables, wrote of a new mentality from the oil and gas industry. “The fossil fuel sectors are fighting back against a wave of popular sentiment that they say is ill-founded,” he noted. “The oil, gas and coal industries say that their products are abundant and reliable, allowing this nation to achieve its economic well-being.” Silverstein quoted the philosophical, public-good argument of Chevron’s Watson.
    I believe the United States has an opportunity – in fact, a great responsibility– to create an energy policy with affordability at its core. We need a refreshed policy approach that recognizes the value of fossil fuels and allows a market-driven transition to affordable substitutes over time. And I would suggest that only an energy policy with affordability as its central goal has the potential to deliver long-term economic, energy and environmental security.

    http://bigpeace.com/ier/2011/10/30/the-energy-future-is-in-fossil-fuels/

  67. Jim22 says:

    Just got this:

    Bar Stool Economics

    Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100 and if they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something
    like this:

    The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
    The fifth would pay $1.
    The sixth would pay $3.
    The seventh would pay $7.
    The eighth would pay $12.
    The ninth would pay $18.
    The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.)

    So, that’s what they decided to do.

    The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. “Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.” So drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

    The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free…but what about the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share?’. They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each
    end up being paid to drink his beer.

    So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay. And so:

    The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
    The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
    The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
    The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
    The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
    The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

    Each of the six was better off than before…and the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

    “I only got a dollar out of the $20,”declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,” but he got $10!”

    “Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man who was now paying nothing, along with the first four. “I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I!”

    “That’s true!!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back when I got
    only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!”

    “Wait a minute,” yelled the first five men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”

    The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

    The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

    And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

  68. R.D. Walker says:

    I am proud to report that I just got tickets to see the Charlie Daniels Band at the Meskwaki Casino on November 18. That is all.

  69. Locke n Load says:

    Told ya so.
    Relief rally is OVER, back to reality.

    Pay particular attention to the discount on greek bonds, now about 63% meaning the real number for the haircut is headed exactly where I said it would: 75-90%

    http://www.cnbc.com/id/45114081

    Sorry I haven’t had any time to update ya’ll, been 20 hr days and recovering from awful flu for last week. There’s a new angle in this story btw. If when I get the time I’ll give you a wrap/prediction. Hopefully by tomorrow evening. I need a damn break

  70. jacksonsdad says:

    53 weeks and counting…

    Can we vote yet?

  71. MadBrad says:

    The annual “Running of the Kids” festival known as Halloween has now come to an official close. The props, decorations and special effects are now carefully packed away for quick and easy deployment next year. I am sore from my head to my toes and now have time to kick back and relax for a bit.

    Every piece of video equipment I had failed but that’s okay. It’s old and needs to be replaced. I’m going HD Digital now. It’s time and there are some damn good cameras that can be had at a crazy good price.

    The tombstones in the graveyard were repainted with paints that fluoresce brightly in black light. Previously stuff that rhymed names with the cause of death were replaced. People don’t read that shit typically, so I just made the tombstones that carry signage such as; No Escape, It’s over, You Next? and because Peanut has a MUCH better hand at this that I do we had one that asked “What you gon do, Nukka”. It went over real well. Visitors pass the graveyard on the way to getting the living shit scared out of them.

    The large pot of assorted body parts in a bath of red water, over a fire was a VERY big hit. When asked what I had in the pot I said “Beans… Human Beans” (a southern pronunciation for Human Beings). Then I would pick up a finger, stick it in my mouth and start chewing. As if on cue, a Father, Uncle or whatever man was in charge of the group would snatch up a kid and act like he was going to put the kid in it. Candy would then be distributed and the chainsaw retrieved in one fluid motion, single pull start. There is no more festive sound than a chainsaw accompanied by screams.

    Now it is all over and already next year is being planned. New cameras, new illusions, things like that. I think I need to finally get my flying bats going.

    I hope everybody had fun last night, whatever you were doing!

  72. Bman says:

    Hands down the best costumes I’ve seen

  73. Bman says:

    Apparently there is an OWS-Grand Forks tomorrow around 4:30. I’m going to drive by and take a look. This is the picture off of the occupy Grand Forks-East Grand Forks Facebook site to promote the event.

  74. R.D. Walker says:

    LMAO!

    Teen idol Justin Bieber allegedly lost his virginity – and impregnated a young woman – during a 30-second tryst after a concert in Los Angeles late last year, according to a paternity suit filed Monday.

    He managed to lose his virginity AND slip one past the goalie AND get himself a costly paternity suit in 30 seconds flat. Way to go kid.

    Baby momma, for her part, might have bought herself a statutory rape rap.

    The whole thing is just so romantic.

  75. BrunDawg says:

    LA Times:
    Wednesday is 11022011, a very rare eight-digit palindrome day.
    Happy Wednesday.

  76. notamobster says:

    Oh, RD… that’s funny. Maybe turdboy can use his “free Canadian” healthcare for the baby.

  77. Locke n Load says:

    Bolingbroook….weeeeeeeeeeeeee
    Slap, one of these days you have to tell me where you work down here.

  78. vanagram says:

    The best OWS / 99% Sign yet:

    “You’ll never understand the horrors we had to endure during the rise of digital porn. The last days of dial up affected us all terribly. Those were grim times. Did we have videos? Hah! We had to wait on edge for a single image to load on the screen. As internet speeds increased, so did the amount we could access. Limewire became a new source. A new haven. But you never knew what you were getting and it always seemed to be the same lame clips circling around under different titles. I remember Charlie waited for days for his clip to download. In the end, it turned out to be nothing more than an advertisement to download MP3’s. He never made it, poor Charlie—the blue balls got in him at last. Those times were hell on everyone.

    Then the uprising came. A road to a better and brighter world was just ahead. Internet streams were finally fast enough to stream videos. No more would we have to store our pornography, making sure folders were carefully hidden to save embarrassment upon discovery. Good times were to be had by all. But alas those times never came. Because every site that streamed videos charged a fee and finding a site that offered it for free, but wasn’t full of malware, was like finding an oasis in a desert of landmines. Sure, we could watch the “preview” but 3 minutes just wasn’t enough, damn it! And then it arrived: Salvation. After all the hardships we had to endure the internet exploded with a flurry of full-length, free, streaming porn sites. This day is now known as the “The Days of the White Seas.”

    We lost many a good men to the porn draught of the “noughties” but we fought on and persevered to make the world better for the generations to come.”

    “We are the 99%”

  79. R.D. Walker says:

    Miss Kentucky discovers that there is a right way and a wrong way to handle a microphone while carrying a large Teddy bear.

    Hat tip to Peter Penrod

  80. sortahwitte says:

    The bear has a nice smile. I would too.

  81. Jim22 says:

    New word in the American lexicon:

    Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) – a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

  82. vanagram says:

    Clunker Math….

    The person who calculated this bit of information is now, and has been, a professor at the University of West Virginia in Morgantown for the last forty some years.

    A clunker that travels 12,000 miles a year at 15 mpg uses 800 gallons of gas a year.

    A vehicle that travels 12,000 miles a year at 25 mpg uses 480 gallons of gas a year.

    So, the average Cash for Clunkers transaction will reduce gasoline consumption by 320 gallons per year.

    The government claims 700,000 clunkers have been replaced so that’s 224 million gallons saved per year.

    That equates to a bit over 5 million barrels of oil.

    5 million barrels is about 5 hours worth of US consumption.

    More importantly, 5 million barrels of oil at $70 per barrel costs about $350 million dollars.

    So, the government paid $3 billion of our tax dollars to save $350 million.

    We spent $8.57 for every $1.00 we saved.

    But I’m pretty sure they will do a better job with our health care.

  83. R.D. Walker says:

    Heh.

    In the middle of an Occupy Chicago teach-in this week, traders at the Chicago Board of Trade dumped several sheets of paper on top of the heads of protesters below. Demonstrators were angered to find out they were showered with employment applications for McDonald’s.

    “Real class acts, the Chicago Board of Trade,” tweeted Occupy Chicago. “This week, it’s McDonald’s job applications they litter from the windows. Soulless place.”

    This is the second incident between the two groups, following Chicago Board of Trade’s “We Are The 1%” missive plastered on their windows last month.

    Locke misses those days I bet.

  84. locke n load says:

    I’d be causing riots,lol. Remember, I had an office on the 4th floor overlooking the corner of Jackson and LaSalle. My immediate neighbors were the old Continental Bank building and the Chicago Fed. That little plastic pellet gun was worth every penny,lol.

    I wish every one of you could spend a few days working in that environment, breathing in the intoxicating air of pure unadulterated capitalism. It was the greatest place on earth, no joke. The CBOT is old guard, pranksters, and class clowns working side by side in a chaotic ballet. Its almost too much to try and explain but the energy in that building could have lit every street light in Chicago.
    I can guarantee you 99% of the CBOT has contemplated some stunt or another against the trolls below. I’d give anything to spend a few hours with some old friends down there and hear the stories

  85. notamobster says:

    Okay… RD – teddy bear – that shit was funny.

  86. R.D. Walker says:

    Calling Mr. and Mrs. Sortawhitte: Did you get all shook up last night?

    Magnitude 5.6 – OKLAHOMA

  87. notamobster says:

    Hope everything is alright down there.

  88. Slaphappypap says:

    I heard on the radio that the earthquake didn’t cause any injuries. Hope Sorta and his family are alright.

    Nice Nota. I laughed out loud on that one.

  89. R.D. Walker says:

    I only feed the birds in the winter. All summer long, I had a five gallon bucket of sunflower seeds in the shed. It was about a quarter full. Today I noticed that mice had actually chewed through the lid. It was evident that they had eaten several hundred seeds. Their little dehydrated bodies, however, were inside. I can imagine how it went.

      Mouse #1: “We made it! Holy smokes! We are rich! There are seeds here to last the rest of our lives!”

      Mouse #2: “I know! We got it made in the shade, Micky.”

      Mouse #1: “I never ate so much in my life. This is great.”

      Mouse #2: “True dat, bro. This is awesome. I am getting a little thirsty though.”

      Both mice look up at the dime sized hole chewed in the lid and at the smooth plastic walls all around them. They look at each other.

      Mouse #1: “Uh oh.”

      Cue Rod Serling: “Sometimes riches aren’t what the seem and, in fact, are a prison of our own making. One must be careful that the quest for wealth doesn’t become a one way journey into the Twilight Zone.”

  90. sortahwitte says:

    Just checking in. The damage has been bulldozed to the edge of the streets and they are trucking in water. We are also blessed to be reciving aid from FEMA.

    OK, enough BS. We are doing alright. Two main shakings and 4 or 5 aftershocks. First one shook me awake Fri. night. Second Sat. night came as we were watching tv. This one shook us up. Doors swinging open by themselves, dishes and glasses making rattling noises in the cabinet and the floor under us moving. No damage, but have not checked the foundation and chimney yet. Now I can’t say to our relatives in California any more to get theirselves back here before an earthquake gets them.

    Thanks for thinking of us.

  91. sortahwitte says:

    2:20 pm cst, Monday. Tornado warnings and watches in parts of Oklahoma until 9pm.

    Come on down! We’re moving to the roof in preperation for the tsunami that will be coming up the Arkansas River any minute.